Try saying no to 2009
Today, Imaginarator is not ready to crawl over that cruel border which marks year 2009 and here’s why with a deep sigh and a heavy heart:
a) Getting older
b) Getting older still and finally
c) OMG getting older, really?
That said, there are highlights I am grateful for and I’ve kindly listed them down for your reading pleasure.
- Started 2008 with three little poppers
- Laid on a new bed for the first time
- Received an unexpected Valentine’s Day gift
- Had one of the tastiest pizzas ever
- Whiskey dry
- Discovered the show House
- Received its DVD boxset as a gift
- The Bucket List and The Secret
- Acquired a regular haunt for wine
- Discovered the joys of conversation and wine
- Had one of the best Japanese meals ever
- Rewatched Will & Grace
- Was given a heartfelt confession
- Went cycling and swimming
- Caught the best magic show ever
- Visited a lovely alfresco bar accessible by car only
- Rice and double-boiled soup
- Chose clothes for someone else
- Found the best pizza delivery place
- Long walks
- Steak dinner at a hawker centre
- Quality times at the arcade
- Watched three awesome concerts
- Attended the first Grand Prix
- Much love for Kylie
- Friends who nursed your heart willingly
- Received two handmade bags as birthday gift
- Wrote more substantially for work than ever
- Received praises and promises of rewards for it
- Living in the most severe credit crunch of our generation
Now that the list is done, it’s time to get out of the office as quickly as possible. If you are reading this still, I’m off now. Happy New Year and may 2009 top whatever highlights 2008 had to offer!*
*Rest assured Imaginarator will be back at the desk by tomorrow evening for the next update. Soberness not guaranteed.
Feel free to leave your wellwishes, 2008’s highlights or reasons why time should stand still now in the comments below.
Only if you ask nicely
This morning, Imaginarator was impressed by the cleverness of lighting while stretching lazily in front of the mirror.
Turns out, when the light hits at a certain angle on that exact spot where Imaginarator was standing, one can see a glorious beginning of defined abdominal muscles*. Yes, you heard that right. Imaginarator is developing a set of menacing ripped abs and it is not afraid to flaunt them**.
*One must also take into account that Imaginarator was carefully tilting its body with arms stretched out. Oh, and absolutely refusing to exhale.
**At appropriate timings i.e. when the sun hit the right spot and before breakfast.
Jagabee awaits visit from me
Today, Imaginarator is feeling all sort of iffy whiffy what with the lack of three proper meals a day since 1993 when Kate Moss ushered in the waif look with a highly publicised nude ad campaign for Calvin Klein. Awestruck young Imaginarator has been trying to attain the perfect heroin chic look since then. That is until bloody effing Edward Cullen and his “impossibly beautiful” pale marble skin and dark purplish eye shadows came along. Harumph!
It’s ok! Imaginarator will turn to the comforting oily arms of fried chicken to sooth its permanently hungry since 1993 soul. Except the last fried chicken has been eaten by Imaginarator’s annoying brother or sister.
Poor Imaginarator is now fantasising about the rows of Jagabee, tucked safely behind the closed shutters of the supermarket. These Jagabee potato bits look like French Fries, feel like crispy French Fries and taste like French Fries. The Jagabee is everything Imaginarator wants in an alpha French Fry.
Of course, no shops are open now to satisfy this craving. Which means Imaginarator can wave bye bye to its precious sleep. And a grouchy Imaginarator out on the internets is not a pretty sight. You’ve been warned.
Feel free to leave your own Jagabee love or any other cravings in the comments below
Being friends with you was never second best, sings Bowling for Soup.
So I was at a field hockey match earlier. Now I’m not sure if you know the rules but there are usually two teams of 11 players each wielding mighty curved sticks trying to get a tiny ball into the goalpost guarded by a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man-lookalike. If you are lucky, there are occasional female tennis players-like grunts but sadly I got mostly high pitched shrieks today.
Now Team Dark Ones were a bunch of teenage loud burping hyper girls actively involved in the sport still and Team Fair Ones were well, older girls who have discovered the magic of make-up, boys, pretty dresses and quite possibly some newfound stamina*.
Beep and the game began with waves and waves of attacks from the Dark Ones, oh wait a counterattack from the Fair Ones but no, they are actually trying to get the ball away as far as possible from their legs. Then one shriek rang louder than the rest. Next minute, a few girls surrounding that loud shrieker** started to look for something on the grass pitch. After a few lip-biting moments from my end, one arm raised in sweaty triumph.
“I’ve got it! I found your fake eyelashes!”
Oh, it’s a beautiful game indeed.
But look at the marvellous things one can do with a hockey stick and the ball. I’m rather enthralled. For one minute.
At the end of the game, I realise I much prefer to watch 22 men playing with a ball. I might be biased but admit it, it’s just more exciting that way.
*Seeing as most haven’t played sports of any kind in ages, I’m a tad amazed at their willingness to participate in this battle of hockey supremacy. They must have gotten a stash of stamina pills for $9.99 during the Boxing Day sale.
**No prizes for which team this particular shrieker and her fake eyelashes belonged to.
This tree cannot be tamed
Before the day is up, I told myself to get my lazy arse off the bed and perch it on a cooler spot of the bed to begin my second post. Now the day is almost up, I’m still perched on the same spot of the bed, albeit cooler now that the sun has set but the second post remains half written like a dog who has lost interest in a half chewed up toy.
I suppose I could give you a brief run-down of my holiday ongoings but seeing as it could be summed up in four seven words*, I’d have to find something else to fill in the gaps. I could post a video but there is nothing holding my interest at the moment. I could croak sing you a song but that might be the last straw that breaks my parents’ backs to commit me. I could share with you my impeccable knowledge of watching grass grow (with music in the background). Or the list of my New Year’s resolutions except they keep changing. Then it hit me. I could very possibly reveal a secret I have been keeping inside me for a while now.
Now this is not a critical government secret ala Chuck nor is it a wizardry magical secret ala Harry Potter but it is something very very dear to me. Then again, it would hardly be a secret once I reveal it on the internets. Maybe I will just stick to reading other people’s secrets for now. Until then, nanny nanny b… well, you get the drift.
* If for some inexplicable reason, you have an innate burning desire to know what I was up to during this entire holiday festivity, I wouldn’t want to deny you of that desire so here goes: Sleep, eat, drink, watch tv and repeat**
**If for another inexplicable reason, you noticed a conspicuous absence of the word shower in that list, yehhh well, showering is not really high on my list when you are hardly out painting the town red, green or white.
This is a brand new exciting development in the life of The Imaginarator. I’ve been wanting to start this blog for a while but obviously I value laziness/procrastination over showcasing my talent of generating products of my imagination more. Now now, don’t shoot me off just yet, there will be stuff to look at if you drop by occasionally*. More of that later. Let’s break out the champagne first, shall we? =)
*I foresee this blog not being updated as regularly as it should be. There, I’ve said it.**
**However, fear not, if there are indeed updates, I guarantee the utter geniusity^ of my posts would blow your mind or socks or panties off. (wouldn’t you want to know how that feels, eh?)
^Now I do not know if the word geniusity exists but hey this is the product of my imagination. Oh yeah!