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Listening: World Spins Madly On by The Weepies

Woke up and wished that I was dead. With an aching in my head, I lay motionless in bed. I thought of you and where you’d gone. Let the world spin madly on.

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Things I am queasy about No1

Things I am queasy about No1: Blood splattered everywhere

It didn’t help when I tried to pick up the broken crystal chunks strewn around and caught a whiff of the bloodsoaked rag.

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Cost-cutting measures FAIL.

How you can save on company resources like money but not time No. 211 – employee takes ½ hr from an 9-hour workday to research on bus routes before committing 30-minute trips for each of three meeting points today.

Reduced corporate travel expenses = longer travel time – allocated work time = productivity dip? Possibly.

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Guide to great naps

Napping is not a sign of laziness. Oh no, it has been scientifically proven to boost our mood and concentration levels. Even this Guardian article agrees, “Naps make you brainier, healthier, safer.” Finally, something I can use at work. Hoot!

So if I want to get the best out of my 20-minute lunch catnaps, the article says I should take a cup of coffee before the nap. “Caffeine requires 20 or 30 minutes to take effect, so it will kick in just as you’re waking.” Which means I can stave off the bloody grogginess that usually plagues me when I wake up.

Because I am nice, here are other stats to get you into the nap-side:

A nap of 60 minutes improves alertness for up to 10 hours.

A 45-minute nap improves learning and memory.

Naps reduce stress, lowers the risk of heart attack and stroke, diabetes and most importantly, excessive weight gain. Pretty good news, I say, for all those on a constant diet regime.

You don’t even have to nap to feel good. Just thinking about those seexy pre-naps would do as a British study conducted last year suggested just knowing a nap was coming was enough to lower blood pressure. Oh yeah!

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Maybe I can moo instead

Pity 2009 is not the year of the dragon. Or else this menacing look would have killed all other lesser contenders. That is if you can overlook the drooling.

Is it not my year yet?

Is it not my year yet?

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Pre-game snack bulletin

Pre-game snack bulletin: Banana+Prune juice = New Year get-down-to-50kg healthy eating regime on track.

Mmm mmm, munching and trying to stay awake for the world’s oldest football competition where Spurs U-12s will attempt to devalue it by squaring up to United’s second XI. Then again, Fergie is not that bothered either if he’s sending loads of reserves on eh. I might have to brace my nerves for this match.

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Run, fat boy, run!

One run away from being Forrest Gump

One run away from being Forrest Gump

“There is a special technique for running – you put one leg in front of the other over and over again really really fast.”

I have to be honest. This made me laughed out loud and even louder after the shining spatula came into the scene. Oh Mr G, you are one fat funny bastard. The other bits of the movie? Not so much. But at least it made me felt less of a miserable git the rest of the night. Which is hardly difficult to do, really.

Well, here’s the long holiday weekend ahead of me and my goal is to eat as much pineapple tarts, peanut cookies and clementines as I can without looking tubbier than usual. Obviously.