How to look youngish forever

Turns out there is this little scale called Perceived Fat Level (PFL) and if you show too much of those flabs or dabble in unfitting skinny gear, the fat police would be onto you. Like a shot. Here’s how you can reduce your PFL. Shane Watson says wear black. Quality ones only.

This bloke Watson also wrote a nifty book on how to look good for your age, meaning mostly for middle-aged folks. But hey there is no harm in scoring a few anti-ageing tips off him. It’s free and if the tips work, I get to tick the 21-25 years box on any forms where I have to state my age. Forever.

I’m not vain really. I read it only coz it tickles me. Anyway to look twentysomethingish forever, I will not move to the country where it is cold and damp all the time.* I will not go to the serious side because growing up doesn’t mean rejecting silliness and actual fun. I will force myself to be spontaneous because there is nothing stopping me from having a party. Nothing.

I will only try on clothes in a changing room where the lighting and mirror flatter me. Finally, I will not worry so much about the pointless stuff as they’re giving me “the clumpy nobble between my eyebrows”.

“Remember you could be dead tomorrow. So stop beating yourself up. Who cares!”

© Shane Watson 2009. Extract taken from How to Meet a Man After Forty and Other Midlife Dilemmas Solved, published January 15 (Penguin £7.99). Buy it for £7.59 (inc p&p) through the Sunday Times BooksFirst at timesonline.co.uk/booksfirst

*I live in a all-year round tropical country so that’s one tip I can put to good use all right.