How to be All By Yourself like Bridget Jones

Blow smoke rings on your couch with clothes messily strewn around.

All by myselffff
Don’t wanna be
Alllll by myself

When the phone says “You have no messages”, next thing you do, chug down red wine like there’s no tomorrow and hold a rolled magazine up as your mic. Look miserable and mouth the words below accordingly.

When I was young,
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

Start pointing angrily at non-existent people who should be there for you but really, you should see how scary you look right now.

All by myselffff
Don’t wanna be
All by myself

Add dramatic gestures like flailing your arms and maybe kick the air for additional effect. Pause and start air drumming with an appropriate tortured face on. Remember to pour your inner misery into the air drumming of the final few beats. Still unclear? Watch the video then.

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