How to be All By Yourself like Bridget Jones

Blow smoke rings on your couch with clothes messily strewn around.

All by myselffff
Don’t wanna be
Alllll by myself
Anymore

When the phone says “You have no messages”, next thing you do, chug down red wine like there’s no tomorrow and hold a rolled magazine up as your mic. Look miserable and mouth the words below accordingly.

When I was young,
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

Start pointing angrily at non-existent people who should be there for you but really, you should see how scary you look right now.

All by myselffff
Don’t wanna be
All by myself
Anymore

Add dramatic gestures like flailing your arms and maybe kick the air for additional effect. Pause and start air drumming with an appropriate tortured face on. Remember to pour your inner misery into the air drumming of the final few beats. Still unclear? Watch the video then.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s