Some days, namely these two days, I get irrationally upset over the smallest thing. My mind would obsess over every single detail or any hint of movement anyone does. Say, you cast a sideway glance at me. I would immediately run a checklist of who, why, what, when, where and how. Of course, this happens inwardly, I hope, otherwise I’d look a tad freaky. And by freaky, we all know it really means psychotic. Either way, it does not bode well for me.
My point is even if I sound over the top now, the obsessiveness is, at the very least, adding up to my 60,000 thoughts a day quota. Oh you haven’t heard? Apparently, a certain health and longevity author Deepak Chopra says each of us has that much thoughts running through our head every single day. Fortunately 57,000 of those are the same stuff we had thought of the day before. Credit to the human race, we are. I did try to keep score, sadly I couldn’t grow enough fingers and toes to catch up. But add up the sex thoughts, the kinky stuff, the filth, the evil plotting sort or world domination plans which all of us secretly have, I say Chopra is about right.
Anyway, obsessiveness is essentially junk food for the mind. It’s unhealthy, useless, satisfying for the moment but you’d totally regret it day/minutes/seconds after. So why do I insist on continuing this obsession with you? Is this life’s way of telling me to suck it because I totally deserve it?
Or quite simply, I’m in love with you still.