Oscars surprises, I hate them

Why you, Penelope Cruz, how dare you tarnish Nate Silver’s predictions?! HE was my foolproof plan to win the office’s Oscars pool! Never trust one who does election predictions again.

And the bloody cheek of Sean bloody Penn. How dare he robbed me of the remaining 90% chance of winning the office’s Oscars pool. Mickey Rourke, I blame your chihuahua.

Reading the whole commentary on the Oscars earlier and one of the funniest quotes has ought to be Defamer’s remark on the Winner of Best Picture, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. “We believe that’s the brownest-looking Oscars stage we’ve ever seen.” You may chuckle now.

Anyway, the funniest bit of the whole four possibly terminal butt-numbing hours is hands down Tina Fey and Steve Martin’s screenplay-like presentation. Literally. Interior: Kodak Theatre… and the dig at Scientology. Oh and the chemistry. They should host the Oscars next year.

Here’s Ben Stiller taking the mickey out of Joaquin stoner Phoenix by the way.


Meryl Streep and her OMFG face

See it to believe it because an overly excited Streep really brightens up your day. This video of Meryl Streep with her “OMGF, I can’t believe I actually won” face and then literally bouncing through the crowds to get to the stage and the award was well, hilarious. The joy resonating from her is inexplicably contagious, even  through the poorer quality of youtube. I actually had the size of a megawatt grin throughout the whole six minutes.

Now you can imagine the infectious energy on that day amongst the audience itself. Great time to be a fly during the Oscars’ ceremony tomorrow? Well, I wish I had voted for Streep in my office Oscars pool. Classy and slightly arrogant in a good way, that’s what she is. Here’s an excerpt of what the Academy Awards record-holder with 15 acting nominations, including one for “Doubt” in which she plays an old-school nun in a war of wills with a priest, said in her acceptance speech, courtesy of Huffington Post:

“Can I just say there is no such thing as the best actress, you know? There is no such thing as the greatest living actress,” said Streep. “I am in a position where I have secret information, that I know this to be true.”

She added, “I am so in awe of the work of the women this year – nominated, not nominated – so proud of us girls and everybody wins when we get parts like this.”


Sloth, gluttony and lust

Items for a lazy weekend of sinful pleasures: KFC check, latest copy of Vanity Fair check and full set of Mad Men… oh yeah check.

Obama is on VF’s March cover along with his administration pictured inside, Clinton looking good. As part of its 15th Hollywood edition, this year’s Oscars’ nominated glitterati are featured inside too. Great pictorials, excellent writing. What can I say? Best object of intellectual lust ever. As for Mad Men, I love the Saul Bass‘ inspired opening credits and various pieces of music used but am still getting used to the way women get objectified and sometimes trampled over in the series though. I might understand it’s the way things are in the sixties but my politically correct mind can’t get rid of  the iffyness yet.

While advertising has never been sexier, I still think it’s the copious amount of smoking that made Mad Men such a hit. Which means, whenever I host any future house parties, if and when it does happen, probably never but just go along with my fantasy here, there will be cigarettes freely available in a tray beside a pretty ashtray. Only smokers welcomed in my crib.


Zits are seriously hilarious

Teenage angst always fun to laugh at

Teenage angst always fun to laugh at

Right, in case you are possibly blind, I will be nice and do up a transcript for you. One of the best observational pieces on the new generation teens and their modern age woes you’ll ever see.

Zuma (also known as the only girl in the comic strip above): I am so (angry face) furious at Mr Levin.

Today he was all (exaggerated mocking face) “Read chapters 11-29 tonight”.

(Pouty face) How am I supposed to do THAT? Jerk!

Nerdy boy’s turn to speak: Zuma, is there any reason that you’re narrating your facial expressions?

Zuma: Skin care! I’m not going to get (eye rolls) wrinkles because of homework!


Obsessiveness is junk food for the mind

Some days, namely these two days, I get irrationally upset over the smallest thing. My mind would obsess over every single detail or any hint of movement anyone does. Say, you cast a sideway glance at me. I would immediately run a checklist of who, why, what, when, where and how. Of course, this happens inwardly, I hope, otherwise I’d look a tad freaky. And by freaky, we all know it really means psychotic. Either way, it does not bode well for me.

My point is even if I sound over the top now, the obsessiveness is, at the very least, adding up to my 60,000 thoughts a day quota. Oh you haven’t heard? Apparently, a certain health and longevity author Deepak Chopra says each of us has that much thoughts running through our head every single day. Fortunately 57,000 of those are the same stuff we had thought of the day before. Credit to the human race, we are. I did try to keep score, sadly I couldn’t grow enough fingers and toes to catch up. But add up the sex thoughts, the kinky stuff, the filth, the evil plotting sort or world domination plans which all of us secretly have, I say Chopra is about right.

Anyway, obsessiveness is essentially junk food for the mind. It’s unhealthy, useless, satisfying for the moment but you’d totally regret it day/minutes/seconds after. So why do I insist on continuing this obsession with you? Is this life’s way of telling me to suck it because I totally deserve it?

Or quite simply, I’m in love with you still.


One of the best shows on TV today

Not to sound like an ungrateful twat or anything but just how amazing is 30 Rock and can they hurry up with the next season already. I know I’m a late bloomer and all since I’ve only actually sat down and seriously go through the episodes weeks ago. Anyway, just to be clear the recent McFlurry controversy of how it might be degenerating into product placement popcorn fluff has hardly caused a ripple in my consciousness. There, so producers, namely you Tina Fey, “everything that is right and good about America”, do hurry up with the next season, yes. You have one fan waiting here.

That video was after her acceptance speech at this year’s Golden Globes. Here’s the transcript because I can’t find the actual video:

“I want to say thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press. I’ll always love the Hollywood Foreign Press and have all the Hollywood Foreign Press action figures. Thank you, Will Arnett, for that joke. But I want you to really know how lucky I am to have the year I’ve had this year and, if you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet! You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you! I’d like to address some of them now! BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Lover, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband, Jeff, I love you. Thank you very much! “


This video will make you smile

See if this video doesn’t make you grin and do a little jig at the end. Nothing like music and pocketfuls of people planted in the midst of the crowd randomly dancing to get you all pumped up. Great ad.