Because I have been feeling like a neglected Romantic the whole day. And nothing says it all like how Schubert can.
Have you ever done something so exciting that you can’t think of anything else but focus on the moment? Imagine yourself driving at 220km per hour. Bit hard to concentrate on anything else but staying alive innit. It’s at that moment when you are fully present and living in the now completely. No, am not telling you to lead a life on the edge. Obviously.
But it’s learning how to live in the moment and not in the past or thinking about the future. Just breathe right. Today, I was spent from keeping myself intact and in control*. Until I found this quote which did a remarkable job of soothing my irrational heart.
Breathing in, I calm body and mind.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is the only moment.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
My mate Q says, “If you live in the present moment, there is no you. Only happiness.”
*In case you were interested about my mental anguish, I couldn’t stop thinking today why have the one I love moved on when just two weeks ago, she said she might not be over me. Yet now, she appears to be living her life as though I was no longer significant. Which I suppose in a way, I’m no longer part of it, that’s why.
Midnight… Not a sound from the pavement. Has the moon lost her memory? You know, since she has been around like forever.
“Several mechanisms have been suggested for the Moon’s formation. The formation of the Moon is believed to have occurred 4.527 ± 0.010 billion years ago, about 30–50 million years after the origin of the Solar System.”
I believe that means the moon was around since a really really long time ago.
Anyway according to B who kindly sent me the video of Elaine Paige singing live below, the lyrics gently touches your heart. “The singer, the music, the lyrics is so powerful.” I can’t really disagree. Not after humming the tune the entire day.
Today, I’m in a “how to lose friends and alienate people” sort of mood. Lazy weekends are nice and dandy to have but not when your heart keeps screwing your mind with thoughts of someone whom you shouldn’t even be thinking about. I’ve been sleepy the whole day and I still have a bunch of recordings to transcribe and regurgitate into a legible story. But I haven’t done any work. I want to be like that dude in Fantastic Four and spend my day flying around throwing fireballs. Hell yeah.
Hey there, I’ve got so much left to say. When you sat across from me earlier, I shyly asked if I could have my stuff which had been at your place for the longest time. I scanned your face for a glimmer of reaction and there was none.
I didn’t know what to expect or how you were supposed to react or how I was supposed to feel. But there is no more rage as far as I can tell and my heart isn’t torn apart today. I do secretly hope we’d fall in love all over again though.
Then G woke me up. “Stop being emo.”
Oh it’s what you do to me…
“They say that time heals all wounds but all it’s done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you.” ~ Ezbeth Wilder
6 months 5 days and the distance between us remains.
On a typical day, my mates and I can talk about absolutely anything at work even when we are miles apart from each other. So thank you, Interweb for bringing much joy into our lives. I wish I could show you the full transcript which is even more hilarious but I mustn’t. My mates are very lucky to have me as a friend. But here is the edited version anyway:
Genie: Wow, tickets are expensive.
The Imaginarator: My money and I are not meant to be together for long and I don’t want to be a stray over at country X
Genie: You can just swim over
The Imaginarator: I can’t swim and there might be sharks
On part-time education:
Genie: It’s almost the season for sale
The Imaginarator: Oh, if only degrees have discounts too
On love and life:
The Imaginarator: Yeh it’s been a very tough six months for me so I am just coasting along now.
Genie: Can you not be so vulnerable? Don’t lose Sagittarians’ face. [Yes, the both of us are Sagittarius] Tell me about how bad it can be.
The Imaginarator: I have feelings all right.
Genie: Geez, I thought you were the playeur, not the playee.
The Imaginarator: I’m real soft deep down.
Genie: Don’t be traumatised. It’s alright. You still have a bright future ahead of you
The Imaginarator: Yeh, I don’t see it now. I am walking around like the wounded and it’s not doing me any good.
Genie: Don’t be silly. You should just switch on the lights. Open up your eyes.
On anger issues:
The Imaginarator: How to snap out of it
Genie: Go on long trip!! Travelling alone can be therapeutic.
The Imaginarator: I swear I can really explode sometimes.
Genie: Be calm… Getting angry just makes you older. It’s more worthwhile to get pissed over missing the $10m lottery by just one number than over someone else’s reactions.
So to conclude, maybe I’m the lucky sod, not them.