Guess no one was interested in the extraneous details which I had kindly shared about myself in the last post since NO ONE BOTHERED TO CLICK ON IT. So I’ll just go back to moaning about my sad sorry self when I was hesitant about us getting back together. Everyone loves a schadenfraude innit.
On 29 July, you posted this on a micro-social blogging site after we had another long argument about my trust issues and I have kept a note on it ever since.
You may not be her first, her last or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together. But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that you can break – her heart.
So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyse and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.
– Bob Marley
That’s when you were still trying your hardest to make things work between us and I wasn’t making it easy for you at all. There were other posts along the same line about how badly you want us to work things out again. It all started on 16 July when we agreed to start things over again and that decision instantly made us felt calmer and more settled. Your words but I agree with you completely.
The subsequent weeks were however not as magical as the first time when we got together. Although, I have to say, the last night of that month was pretty amazing. I admit I wasn’t the nicest person to be with the last few weeks. I had severe insecurity issues which overwhelmed you at times. I tried to stop myself but my fear drove me to keep questioning and questioning you. Relentlessly.
Until you finally exploded on 6 August. I’m still waiting for the dust to settle.
I miss you.