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I won’t lie to you, Internet

Right, I won’t lie to you, Internet. You’re, after all, the only one whom I can be honest to without feeling like I’m being judged. Oh, don’t you guys all rush to start leaving comments on my blog now, eh?

Where was I? So I am going to be honest with you, Internet. I am ready to fall in love and settle down. There, I finally said it. You can exhale now. But hold the tears of joy and applause, please. I’m not done sorting out my thoughts yet. What I do know is, this person, whom I want to fall madly in love with, will love me for who I am and be closely aligned to me. More on this later.

Last week, I had an epiphany about some of the best times I had in my life and how great it would be if I could recapture them. One of those best moments had me chilling out a lot at scenic places. Usually during autumn or early spring. Conclusion? I want to go to a country where the temperature stays at the point in between a winter’s end and the early onslaught of spring so my teeth wouldn’t rattle when I attempt to drink my hot chocolate at a side-walk café. Coupled with a cigarette in my hand while I sit back and watch people go by. Doesn’t seem like an unreasonable request eh? Right, just remember to check your in-tray then, dear Universe.

I figure dreams do come through. It’s only a matter of time. Probably a few years, give or take. Or months if we’re lucky. Meaning we have to stop watching TV all day long and thinking dreams would fall into our laps if we just sat around on our butts.

By the way, if ever there should be a perfect soundtrack for lovemaking, this song by Joe Strummer and The Mescaleros would be it. I’ve heard it on repeat the last few days for at least 40 times and I love it! I can imagine the track playing while two passionate, and preferably hot, bodies seduce one another, and finally after a long drawn out kiss, they get down to do what their hormones are urging them to do what they must tonight or the world ends tomorrow.

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iPhones and the curse

A conversation between two relatively new iPhone users sometime in early February…

Me: I just saw an auntie using an iPhone.
Yy: Everyone here uses an iPhone, even maids.
Me: Omg how sad, I feel less cool now.
Yy: I know.
Me: Even pimply school boys walking past me are using iPhones.
Yy: Everyone !!!!! We are everyone! Sigh.
Me: Omg sadness, I refuse to be everyone.

Too late for that now. I will never be cool.

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50 things you should know in 2010

Especially since these are things we didn’t know this time last year. Which obviously isn’t wise for mankind. Because information is power. Or was it knowledge? Either way, arming yourself with these bits of interesting info would do no more harm to your brain than what the increasing levels of environmental pollutants are doing to your body. Who knows, they might just save your life one day. Joking. No, I am not. Yes, I am. No. Yes.

2. Grumpy people think more clearly because negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking. – I see morning grumpiness catching on quickly soon enough.

10. Surfing the Internet may help delay dementia because it creates stimulation that exercises portions of the brain. – Surfing is the new mahjong-playing.

15. The higher a patient’s body-mass index, the less respect he or she gets from doctors. – I knew it!! That’s why there aren’t many fat doctors around.

18. The eyes of the mantis shrimp possess a feature that could make DVDs and CDs perform better. By emulating this structure, which displays color wavelengths at all ranges, developers could create a new category of optical devices. – I want.

19. The calmest place on Earth is on top of an icy plateau in Antarctica known as Ridge A, several hundred miles from the South Pole. It is so still that stars do not twinkle in the sky because there is no turbulence in the atmosphere to distort the light. – This could be my new happy place.

30. If you’re trying to attract a partner, an athletic body helps, but a good-looking face is more important. – You don’t say…

31. Cockroaches hold their breath for five to seven minutes at a time through a respiratory system that delivers oxygen directly to cells from air-filled tubes. One reason they hold their breath may be to prevent their bodies from getting too much oxygen, which could be toxic to them. – Are you getting the feeling that they are like demons? The only way to kill them off completely is lopping their heads off.

37. Differences in body odors produced by people who are more prone to insect bites show they have lower levels of fruity-smelling compounds in their sweat than those who are resistant to mosquitoes. – So telling someone with numerous mosquito bites “They bit you because you taste sweet” is technically right?

Who knows what other weird and equally interesting revelations we’re going to discover this year? Like a famous proverb commonly found on touristy tees from Thailand or Cambodia, “Same same but different.” I can’t wait.

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