Living la vida loca

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Guess I found the cure to lift the weight off my shoulders. Hot foamy joy in a tub. Not just any wooden tub, mind you. But one that is installed in a luxurious, amazingly beautiful, tasteful-looking five-star suite.

Every part of the suite has been so thoughtfully and exquisitely furnished that I feel like the king of the world and that I am pampered beyond pampered. A Chinese saying comes to mind: “BYT really is BYT.”

So loud dance music is blasting from the tv (Fashion TV has some of the best playlists, IMO. Hot people included), I have foam all over me, someone taking silly pics of me posing awkwardly with the bubbles, my aching limbs soaked in hot aromatherapy oil-filled water, and loads of fun activities to enjoy later…

You know what, I wouldn’t mind living like this every day.

And if anyone ever asks me what the best thing ever invented was, here is my answer:

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Yes, mechanically-operated warm toilet seat is the next best invention after Internet, wi-fi internet, air conditioner and iPhone. My Xiaohei has never known joy like this before!!!

You know how your butt would automatically cringe when you are about to sit on a hotel toilet because it fears touching a freezing cold surface. You kinda expect to jump up anytime when faced with a foreign porcelain toilet but not at BYT.

It is always primly covered with a lid. When you walk near it, it’d sense your presence and welcome you by gently swinging its lid upwards. So you sit without thinking and the minute your butt hits the toilet, a warm cosy sensation spreads through, gently warming your butt cheeks and your butt feels pampered, cuddled, comfortable and happy.

YES, MY BUTT FELT SO RELAXED THAT IT KINDA NEVER WANTS TO GET UP FROM THE SEAT EVER.

Is this how a happy butt feels? I think so.

You can now poop and pee while getting warmed up cosily. What more can a little butt ask for?

This toilet also has an internal bidet that can cleanse your down there at any pressure and angle you wish. It can even oscillate and pulsate the water if you so desire. And all emitted water is set at a nice warm temperature so you won’t get a shock. The mind boggles.

You know what’s even more amazing? It has a dryer that can gently blow-dry your nether regions with a warm soothing breeze while you eat, snooze, watch tv on this toilet.

You know what’s more amazing than even more amazing? There’s no need to turn back and flush after you’ve done whatever you have done. It has an auto sensor that will flush whatever junk you left behind and close its lid nonchalantly.

How’s that for living a crazily awesome life?!

I’m getting so pampered by this particular toilet that I’m half-expecting all toilets to behave in exactly the same way from now. This toilet has set the bar so damn high it’s my dream toilet now.

It’s true. Once you have experienced something that treats you so so much better than anything you had before, it’s hard, almost impossible, to go back.

I’m so going to install the exact same toilet in my future home. I really can’t bear to get up from the warm comfortable toilet seat!

The only thing I have to do is to keep reminding myself to remember to wash my hands when walking away. As far as I know, that part isn’t automated yet.

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