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Champagne rings

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How do you define love?

Haha, did that throw you off guard? That sounds totally deep and philosophical, isn’t it? So I had a lovely day out today. I have decided that my new favourite thing to do is watching afternoon movies on weekdays. Ticket prices are lower than usual and the crowds are almost non-existent.

But you would have to turn your tolerance level up several notches because there will be middle-aged couples who do not understand cinema etiquette of NOT picking up a call during a movie. In fact, they are probably ignorant since they do not even silence their phones before the movie.

And do you have any idea how loud these old fogeys talk? LOUD. Like THEY HAVE TO SPEAK IN CAPS KIND OF LOUD. Because they are nearly deaf, that’s why. It riles me up just talking about these inconsiderate assholes again. First, they disrupt my enjoyment of the movie. Then my anger distracts me from focusing on the movie because I’m trying to get these assholes to shut up.

Maybe next time instead of “SHH-ing” and “TSK-ing” them, I should let out a string of expletives loudly. Two can join in the game of “Let’s see who can be a bigger asshole and ruin the movie for everyone”. Right?

Ok enough, back to the Chinese film I watched. Love (2012) is about the love stories and relationship up-and-downs of eight people and I love it, even though some details were a bit farfetched. I literally laughed at loud at certain scenes and went “awww” at some loving moments portrayed in the film.

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The opening credits are whimsically beautiful and the soundtrack is delightful as the film introduces us to the eight main characters who unknowingly cross each other’s paths while figuring out the meaning of love in their lives.

The love story arc that I particularly like is between Zoe Fang (Shu Qi), an older jaded lady who is used to a luxurious lifestyle from going out with wealthy men only and Kuan (Ethan Juan), an inexperienced naive younger boy who believes in true love. As they got to know each other, she realised she could be herself when she was with him. Whenever she spent time with him, she felt carefree and a sense of innocence that she thought had been lost.

After a few months of self-imposed separation, she met him by chance at an event and it was there where she proposed to him with a “champagne ring”.

After he returned her proposal with a handmade ring of his own, Kuan said: “你的未来全包在我身上了。” (I will take care of your future for the rest of my life.)

Zoe replied: “我不接受包养,我只接受爱。” (I don’t accept such [material] support, I only want love.)

It made me smile.

P/S: Another standout quote from the movie was from Nī, a young girl who confronted her best friend over a betrayal. It reminded me of a conversation I had with someone about her flaws. What a coincidence.

“我很挑剔,我很难搞,我讲话难听,我常常脸臭,可是那就是我啊。我就是没办法像你一样听话,顺从,又牺牲奉献。就因为我没有这么伟大,我就不配爱人,就不值得被爱吗?”

[Images via Laughing Squid and Chinese Movies]

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Time is money

You know, I’ve always heard people using this “Time is money” phrase but I’ve never known the origin of it. So I asked my best friend Google and turns out, it was said by Benjamin Franklin. While we can’t deny the great man’s wisdom, I don’t think we have never actually attempted to address time into something more quantifiable in monetary terms. Until now.

Enjoy your newfound wealth.

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When you really matter to someone

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I grabbed this quote off Facebook last night because I thought it was very meaningful (also because I will always make time for someone whom I really care about, no matter how busy I am). Maybe you have come across this quote somewhere too and it made you pause and ponder about your life.

You may have also seen these quotes on the Internet:

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.”

Or “You come to love not by loving a perfect person but by loving an imperfect person perfectly.”

Or “love is accepting someone completely” even when she has flaws like a bad temper and is extremely stubborn, emotionally immature, dramatic, irresponsible (and the list goes on).

What I’ve learned last night is when you make time for someone, want the best for them and accept their flaws, make sure this person really cares for you the same way and really wants to be with you. There is no point spending all your time, energy and effort on someone who does not feel the same way as you. It’d be like doing the same thing over and over again and hoping or even expecting that person to finally wake up and realise that you are The Right One.

Yes, I am going to say this out loud now and this may hurt.

You can be the most understanding, most caring and most loving partner in the world but only if the person genuinely wants you in their life as a life partner. Otherwise, whatever you are doing now is just fruitless and pointless because that person is not ready to settle for you even though both of you are potentially right for each other and are meant to be together.

Someone who genuinely wants you as their Significant Other will not see the need to ignore you, disappear on you and react defensively whenever you attempt to talk about possible issues. Someone who wants you in their life will not think they are “reporting” to you - they’d willingly share their life because they want you to be part of it. Someone who cares for your feelings will not disrespect you by ignoring and disappearing on you as a means of “setting boundaries” and forcing you to lower your expectations of them so you will give in to them on their terms.

Even friends wouldn’t do something like that to you, right, unless you have pissed them off in a big way.

But of course, I am not saying I am perfect (although I’m as close as it gets, haha). There are times when I could have chilled, relaxed and have faith in the other person, be more emotionally secure and be less demanding. I also need to learn to see things from the other person’s perspective because sometimes what I think and feel may not be what they think and feel. And I need to stop overthinking every single thing. These are things I am still working on because I really want someone to want me the same way I want them in a loving mutual relationship.

As the song goes, “I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life” with (I wrote about this song previously too).

I want someone who is willing to be a team player with me - who can talk openly about any issues, be honest, be responsible for the relationship, wants only the best for us, solve obstacles – if any – together, be empathetic, considerate, unselfish, caring, loving, committed to me and wants to grow emotionally and mentally (and wealthy) with me. I want someone who wants to make plans with me and spend time with me. I want someone who is my best friend and my lover at the same time.

Dear Universe, this is what I want and I feel something good is about to arrive for me. I can feel happiness in the air! 🙂

It is up to you to decide what you want. But always put yourself and your happiness first.

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I will always love you

I’m sure all of you know by now that Whitney Houston has passed on. And there have been many theories to her cause of death or road to demise. Her drug-fuelled lifestyle and the negative influence of her ex-husband Bobby Brown has been well-documented over the years but in the past week there is a new theory (or rather I only heard about it today).

Now I only knew about this because I read on Twitter that the hit song “I will always love you” was actually dedicated to someone very close to Houston and it was not her husband.

The song, and in fact almost all of her albums, was dedicated to her best friend and former long-time assistant Robyn Crawford. They met when they were 16 and they soon become inseparable. They were the Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King of the 80s and rumours were rampant that the close relationship was more than platonic.

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Among the theories put forth was that Houston had to break up with Crawford and marry Brown to quash the lesbian rumours and it was the heartbreak from leaving her “one true love” that made her into an addict, not Brown’s influence.

So I went to research further and found this by user wowihateyou on the comments page off Gawker:

The night of the Grammys, 1988, I sat next [to] a magnificent woman, a little older than me, at the nail parlour on 54th Street between Lex and Park… I had no idea who she was. I was just admiring her clothes when the owner asked: “Whitney, are you going to the Grammys tonight?”

She left moments before I did and was greeted at the door by a small bookish looking lesbian with big black glasses holding paperwork. They went down the stairs before me. When I reached the landing, they were kissing passionately. No Bobby Brown could ever erase what I saw, which was true passion.

Gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell wrote in Daily Mail that when he first met Whitney and Robyn in 1991, “it was obvious they were madly in love”.

Their intimacy and affection was so sweet and romantic.

They held hands in the back of the car like teenage sweethearts. Clearly more than just friends, they were a gorgeous couple and so happy together. To see their love was infectious and uplifting.

Whitney was the happiest and at the peak of her career when she was with Robyn.

He summarised that Robyn was Whitney’s greatest love of all and giving her up led to her downfall. And I guess it kinda makes sense when you watch this video again. MAJOR GOOSEBUMPS.

If you have found someone who truly makes you happy and who cares about you deeply and always wants the best for you, I hope you would treasure the person and that both of you can grow old together, no matter what anyone or the society says. Love is love.

[Via Gawker, The Daily Beast and The Daily Mail UK]

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What I really do at home

The “What I really do” meme has been wildly popular these days and I just came across another gem which made me laugh out loud. I have been staying home the past few days trying to cram as much revision work as possible.

In an ideal world, I’d be extremely productive in that for every 50 minutes spent revising, I’d only take a 10-minute rest… and not revise for 10 minutes while getting distracted by social network updates, Scramble With Friends games, the internet at large, food, TV and sleep for the rest of the day.

Ahem. I do love my sleep and it’s amazing how attached I am to my bed, especially after a full satisfying meal. Anyone familiar with the “food coma” symptom?

So while the society and my parents perceive me as a really hardworking mature adult, this is what I really do behind closed doors. Shhh, let’s keep it between us.

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Super dreamy Neal Caffrey

Ok, I am a week late to the news but for those of you who haven’t heard, the super good-looking Neal Caffrey from TV crime drama White Collar, aka Matt Bomer, is officially out of the closet. (Whee!) And the 34-year old actor is happy and comfortable talking about his husband and children in public. (Yay!)

Yes, this is news to me because I have never thought Caffrey was gay and yes, I have the biggest crush on him. I love his hair and his sartorial style on the show so much that I really REALLY want to look like him. Maybe that’s why my gaydar wasn’t working. I mean, look at this guy:

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And look at that SOFT FLUFFY HAIR (and his chiselled jaws). How can anyone not want hair like that? I know I desperately do.

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I just want to accentuate those soft curls again. Sigh.

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Previously, Bomer was reticent about coming out. In a 2010 interview with Details magazine on his love life, Bomer said: “I don’t care about [rumours] at all. I’m completely happy and fulfilled in my personal life.”

Two years later when accepting an award for his activism against HIV/ AIDs at the Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards on Feb 13, he thanked his partner, Hollywood publicist Simon Halls, and their three children from the stage.

He said in his acceptance speech: “I’d really especially like to thank my beautiful family: Simon, Kit, Walker, Henry.

“Thank you for teaching me what unconditional love is. You will always be my proudest accomplishment.”

HOW FRICKING SWEET IS THAT? Guess he knows there’s nothing to hide.

Here is a photo of him and his doting partner (the typical older distinguished gentlemen sort, if you ask me):

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Here are their three adorable kids:

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What a happy beautiful family and they look so sweet together. Seeing happy couples makes me happy. We need more good-looking gay people like Bomer to come out and show the world it’s okay to love whomever you want and be happy together, no matter what society thinks. Your thoughts?

[via The Daily Mail UK]

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This is the sign

I woke up bleary on Saturday early morning trying to motivate myself to continue my revision. Gosh, I really love my sleep and forcing myself to stay awake at 7am is always going to be a struggle. After several mental push-ups, I finally shut my alarm off and sat up to face reality.

But to warm up, I had to scroll through all my social networks and read some of the day’s news before getting down to the serious stuff. And I came across this article below and I WAS BLOWN AWAY. Seriously, it was as though someone knew what I had been going through and wanted to pass a message to me and fate had me clicking on the link.

After I finished reading it, I was quietly impressed and inspired to do great things. So I read the article again, savouring each word and pausing at each sentence trying to memorise the advice it is imparting. That was when I took a deep breath and promptly fell right back to sleep.

Anyway, here are a few quotes from the article. A reminder of the emotion the article evoked in me and how it’s important we should pursue and fulfil our dreams and be happy in our pursuit:

Some people dream of success, others make it happen. Of course, you can dream as much as you like but waiting for things to happen gets you nowhere. Get active and start making things happen.

Before you get started, find the burning passion in you that will spur you on when the going gets tough:

Whatever journey your path takes you on, the most important thing is to have passion in what you do.

How many of you went to college, got your degree, and ended up doing something totally unrelated to your major? Studying it did not make you passionate about it. It wasn’t your path.

Education or even talent aren’t worth much without passion. So do the stuff that you love and you’ve always wanted to do because without it, you’ll feel stuck and unfulfilled.

Why this is a clear sign for me:

Make this year the turning point in your life. When you do what you love, you will be rewarded — it will just flow naturally.

Look at those around you who just make things happen. They have a clear goal in mind and they know where they want to go. They don’t always have a plan but they have the passion and the tenacity to make it work, and they achieve their goals as the end result.

Trust us when we tell you this. If something [sic] important to you, you WILL find a way. If it isn’t, you’ll find an excuse. It’s that simple. Find your way. Make it work, whatever it takes.

And why we should never stand still and hope for things to fall into our lap:

Stop waiting for the perfect time to do what you want to do. Do it now.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, so get used to being uncomfortable. It won’t kill you. Do you need a sign? Here it is: - Bill Tikos

[via The Cool Hunter]