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When you really matter to someone

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I grabbed this quote off Facebook last night because I thought it was very meaningful (also because I will always make time for someone whom I really care about, no matter how busy I am). Maybe you have come across this quote somewhere too and it made you pause and ponder about your life.

You may have also seen these quotes on the Internet:

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.”

Or “You come to love not by loving a perfect person but by loving an imperfect person perfectly.”

Or “love is accepting someone completely” even when she has flaws like a bad temper and is extremely stubborn, emotionally immature, dramatic, irresponsible (and the list goes on).

What I’ve learned last night is when you make time for someone, want the best for them and accept their flaws, make sure this person really cares for you the same way and really wants to be with you. There is no point spending all your time, energy and effort on someone who does not feel the same way as you. It’d be like doing the same thing over and over again and hoping or even expecting that person to finally wake up and realise that you are The Right One.

Yes, I am going to say this out loud now and this may hurt.

You can be the most understanding, most caring and most loving partner in the world but only if the person genuinely wants you in their life as a life partner. Otherwise, whatever you are doing now is just fruitless and pointless because that person is not ready to settle for you even though both of you are potentially right for each other and are meant to be together.

Someone who genuinely wants you as their Significant Other will not see the need to ignore you, disappear on you and react defensively whenever you attempt to talk about possible issues. Someone who wants you in their life will not think they are “reporting” to you - they’d willingly share their life because they want you to be part of it. Someone who cares for your feelings will not disrespect you by ignoring and disappearing on you as a means of “setting boundaries” and forcing you to lower your expectations of them so you will give in to them on their terms.

Even friends wouldn’t do something like that to you, right, unless you have pissed them off in a big way.

But of course, I am not saying I am perfect (although I’m as close as it gets, haha). There are times when I could have chilled, relaxed and have faith in the other person, be more emotionally secure and be less demanding. I also need to learn to see things from the other person’s perspective because sometimes what I think and feel may not be what they think and feel. And I need to stop overthinking every single thing. These are things I am still working on because I really want someone to want me the same way I want them in a loving mutual relationship.

As the song goes, “I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life” with (I wrote about this song previously too).

I want someone who is willing to be a team player with me - who can talk openly about any issues, be honest, be responsible for the relationship, wants only the best for us, solve obstacles – if any – together, be empathetic, considerate, unselfish, caring, loving, committed to me and wants to grow emotionally and mentally (and wealthy) with me. I want someone who wants to make plans with me and spend time with me. I want someone who is my best friend and my lover at the same time.

Dear Universe, this is what I want and I feel something good is about to arrive for me. I can feel happiness in the air! 🙂

It is up to you to decide what you want. But always put yourself and your happiness first.

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4 thoughts on “When you really matter to someone

  1. Pingback: A 2012 review of The Imaginarator’s blog | The Imaginarator

  2. Pingback: How I made peace with 2013 | The Imaginarator

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