When to date again

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I was feeling desolate since this afternoon after reading something and I was in desperate need of some heartfelt advice and counselling and maybe a motivational speech. You know, I really don’t need people to drive me crazy; I can do all that perfectly well myself. So I need all the help I can get.

Then came salvation in the form of a TV show, which is a comedy about learning to cope with grief, of all places.

In season one of Go On, lead character Ryan King starts off the episode by saying: “If you’ve been hurt, how soon is too soon to get back in the game?”

Even though he continues talking about athletes with sports injuries and their comeback, he was clearly referring to getting back into the dating scene again.

Ryan finally realises he’s ready to date again, even though he misses his late wife. He feels ready, because he misses being with a woman and hates being alone.

But along the way, there are signs that said Ryan shouldn’t be dating just yet, even though he thinks and says he’s ready. In actual fact, he’s not completely ready, because he still hasn’t let the love of his life go — he’s still holding on to memories of her and momentos they shared. Sad, pathetic, but true.

When it comes to dating someone new after a heartbreak or the loss of a loved one, no one can tell you when you should date again; only you can. Everyone is different; we cope with pain differently and, most importantly, we each heal differently.

As George, his partially blind therapy group mate, said when Ryan asked him for advice on starting afresh:

“People think life is short. Nah, life is long. The next right thing will come to you. Let it. Just be ready.”

You know you’re still in a bad shape, when you’re thinking of someone even in your dreams.

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