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The Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Golden Globe show 2014

This year’s Golden Globes’ opening monologue by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had me in stitches for nine whole minutes. They were so witty that my face was so scrunched up from laughing so hard. And now my right eye hurts. But it’s so good to laugh out loud for so long. Remember my last post on why laughing is good for you? 😀

If you thought Tina and Amy were hilarious last year (which I reviewed on this blog), you need to watch how they topped that performance with this year’s epic opening act. They are simply two of the funniest and seriously intelligent women in Hollywood right now. I can’t wait to watch the full show just to see what other hilarious antics Fey and Poehler got up to.

Here are some of my favourite one-liners from the dynamic comedic duo (Telegraph UK):

Tina: “The Wolf of Wall Street shocked viewers by using the F-word 506 times in three hours. Which is the new record. Unless you count my dad trying to hang some curtains rods in our living room.”

Tina: “Amy Poehler is nominated for her work on Parks and Recreation.”
Amy: “I believe Amy is here tonight. Can we get a shot of her?”
[Camera pans to Jennifer Lawrence with Amy Poehler’s name at the bottom of the screen]
Tina: “She looks fantastic!”
Amy: “She looks amazing! Wow, radiant! It is hard to believe she’s a 42-year-old mother of two!”

Tina: “Meryl Streep is so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.”

The one about Meryl Streep is hilarious because few weeks ago Streep made an acceptance speech at Napalms Film Festival about how she’s grateful for the great roles she has received even though she’s over 60 years old and that there’s still opportunities for older women in Hollywood.

And this one below is my personal top favourite. Fey delivered it with enough deadpan aplomb. And the camera immediately panned to Sandra Bullock (George Clooney’s co-star in Gravity) who was laughing so hard she was slapping her knee. Priceless.

Tina: “Gravity is nominated for Best Film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

Tina:”Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds. Or what actresses call being in a movie.”

Amy: “One of the most nominated films this year is 12 Years a Slave. I loved 12 Years a Slave and I can honestly say that after seeing that film, I will never look at slavery the same way again.”
Tina: “Wait, how were you—”
Amy: “And what a year for television!”

Amy: “Before earning a Golden Globe nomination for his first ever actinrole in Captain Phillips, Barkhad Abdi was working as a limousine driver in Minnesota. There’s such a beautiful life lesson here, everyone: Sleep with your limo driver tonight. Before he gets famous.”

Amy: “A lot of nominated shows this year are actually on Netflix. House of Cards. Orange Is the New Black. Enjoy it while it lasts, Netflix. Because you’re not going to be feeling so smug in a couple of years when SnapChat is up here accepting Best Drama.”

What a great way to chase away those Monday blues. Seriously, go click on the link above already.

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LOL every day to keep all illnesses away

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Photo credit: Distractify.com

The 28 Most Flawless Responses To A Wrong Number Text…LOL! (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/24-flawless-responses-to-wrong-number-texts/)

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Photo credit: Distractify.com

The 35 Naughtiest Dogs On The Planet. You’ll Laugh So Hard When You See What They Did! (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/dogs-who-are-shamelessly-proud-of-what-they-just-did/)

Above are some of the funniest photos I’ve read in December 2013 and they are still funny in 2014. Both webpages are still open as tabs on my FireFox page. I can’t bear to close them just yet, because I still laugh whenever I read them again. And I’d laugh so hard that my stomach aches and my eyes tear. And since I’m a generous person, I am sharing them with you today, because I want you to laugh as heartily as I did. Haven’t you heard? Laughing really hard is equivalent to doing crunches and it’s more fun too. Fun and beneficial for health; what more can a rather lazy person ask for?

From the Telegraph UK (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7635143/Laughter-really-is-the-best-medicine-as-doctors-find-it-can-be-as-healthy-as-exercise.html):

“… the high you get from a giggling fit was similar to the endorphin rush from exercise. … it can reduce your risk of a heart attack and diabetes and generally regulate the body’s vital functions.”

From the Discovery channel (http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/10-reasons-why-laughing-good-for-you.htm):

“… laughter improves blood flow, suppresses stress hormones and gives you a burst of exercise. … laughter has been shown to increase levels of salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA), an important antibody that fights bacteria and infections, especially those in the respiratory system.”

Enjoy and spread the laughter!

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Laugh at dogs that photobomb

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Photo credit: REDDIT ELVENDUDE

I laughed, when I saw this pic last week, and I laughed again, when I saw it in my phone’s photo album today. The innocent expressions are so hilarious and I don’t think the dogs had any idea what was going on. Innocence is so adorable!

There’s a series of photos here that you can view and laugh to your heart’s content, though I have no idea how many of them were photoshopped (some you can blatantly see they are fake).

On Saturday, I was accosted by a McDonald’s in-house staff who was recruiting bystanders on the street to join the fast food giant. It was the company’s country-wide recruitment day and I happened to walk past the restaurant at 9:30am on my way to get coffee. Lucky me. She took my friendly smile and eye contact for consent to come forward to pitch to me how great working at McDonald’s would be for me.

Holding onto a piece of paper illustrating the hourly wages (which were not a lot) and the overtime pay (also not a lot) in one hand, while holding onto my arm with the other, she said it’s a fun environment and I would learn many things and it’d be a good way to occupy my time. In my mind, I was thinking I didn’t know I look so relaxed and unburdened by work stress. Or maybe I look jobless? Or in need of a distraction?

She added that if I join the company, I could easily rise up the career ladder to become a store manager of McDonald’s within one year, because I am young, plus I can read and write. She then gestured to her store manager who was standing nearby pitching to some middle-aged housewives, saying that she had learned the ropes and climbed up the ranks within a short time, so I shouldn’t be afraid to try the job out, because I look like I can achieve anything. Should I be flattered? Hahaha!

She then looked at me so earnestly that I nearly wanted to put my name down on her list to help her meet her target. She tried sweetening the deal by saying I could just put my name down on the list first and decline to come for the interview later. But I resisted, despite my overwhelming desire to help, because I know I shouldn’t waste anyone’s time if I’m not interested. Ahem. So take note, young job seekers out there.

I have to admit though, I’m keen to find out how McDonald’s recruits and selects its staff. So one day, I might just walk in to the restaurant to apply for a job to test its processes on fairness and effectiveness. So erm… Watch out! I might just “photobomb” your recruitment someday!

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Laughter is the best drug

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Two or three weeks ago, I happened to turn on the TV one morning and an episode from Sex And The City was already playing halfway. I immediately settled down to watch it, because I secretly adore the show, even though I won’t tell anyone about it!

It was the second episode of the first season, so everything looked retro, even though it was only 1998 then. But it was still hilarious. It was about beautiful people, aka models, and whether dating them is a privilege or a chore (more like death sentence the way how it was portrayed in the show). And how less beautiful people, aka 99% of ordinary average-looking human beings, behave differently (feel insecure?) when they are around models. Hence, the title Models and Mortals.

The ending was particularly sweet. It was a conversation between Carrie Bradshaw and her Mr Big at the usual cafe that she writes her columns at.

Carrie typing on her laptop (VoiceOver): “I began to realise that being beautiful is like having a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park — Completely unfair and usually bestowed upon those who deserve it least.”

Mr Big [walks into the cafe and slides into the booth where Carrie is at]: “I’m not interrupting your work, am I?”

Carrie: “Hey, what a surprise.”

Mr Big: “I can’t stay. I’m late for a meeting, but I’ve been thinking about your article on men who date models.”

Carrie: “What about them?”

Mr Big: “First of all, there are so many goddamn gorgeous women in this city.”

Carrie: “What an amazing observation.”

Mr Big: “But the thing is this … after a while, you just wanna be with the one that makes you laugh. Know what I mean?”

And Carrie couldn’t stop smiling after that. I guess she knew what Big meant? I didn’t really get the reference Carrie used in the beginning of the scene about the rent-controlled apartment. Maybe it’s a New York thing.

Anyway, my takeaway from this is that laughter is good. Being with someone who makes you laugh is better. Being able to laugh at the same things with that someone is even better. Being able to laugh at each other all the time? Now that’s gold.

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Keep calm and be duh like Patrick

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I LOLed the second I saw this picture. I’ve never been a fan of the “Keep calm and …” phrase after it had been overused in the past 2-3 years, but this particular one is so hilarious.

You have to piece the entire phrase in your head, you see, and I came up with “Keep calm and be duh”. And I imagine Patrick Star saying it in his low duh voice. And then I laughed at my own wit. Maybe because Patrick Star reminds me of myself. Duh! Whatsapp shy face. HAHAHA!

Happy midweek, y’all!

Also, you shouldn’t be with him. You should be with me. Yes, really, because things between us don’t just happen, y’know. Or at least not to me. Really.

In movies, TV shows and fairytales, the girl would run over and kiss me after hearing that. If only.

P/S: I found this really great website with all the transcribed scripts for all 10 seasons of everyone’s favourite TV comedy Friends, so if you ever want to, I don’t know, have a laugh, feel free to click on it.

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Silly Lardee

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Silly Lardee’s sad face was SHO cute that I thought how could anyone, especially ickle, bear to have alone time away from chubby Lardee?! If I were ickle, I’d spend all my time with Lardee. We’d play, read books, eat snacks and have fun together all the time!

Agree? For some reason, this story made me miss the times when we’d read about Lardee and ickle and laugh at how adorable they are and how you were like the prim and proper ickle who keeps rolling eyes at naughty, silly Lardee who is as duh as me.

In unrelated news, Lunar New Year is next week and I haven’t actually spring-cleaned and finished decluttering my room. So far, I’ve only thrown old bills and organised my insurance and income tax statements and changed my bedsheets.

Here are the remaining chores I have to do over the next six days:

Wash the curtains;
Clean the fan and windows;
Pack my wardrobe and clear out old /unused clothes;
Clear (or hide) the books, magazines and notes scattered on the floor and in the shelf;
Throw out the bags I no longer use;
Pack the stuff under the bed.

Doesn’t sound unmanageable, right? Wish me luck!

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Golden Globes’ hilarious opening act

I haven’t had a chance to watch the repeat telecast of the Golden Globes 2013, because I was swamped with work while others were busy checking out the red carpet moments as soon as the pictures were released.

But when I read that Tina Fey (my favourite comedy actress) and Amy Poehler were hilarious hosts (perhaps even better than Ricky Gervais), I was more determined than previous years to watch it somehow.

Well I finally had time to YouTube it earlier… And I’m really glad Internet was invented! Everything is just so accessible now. Haha!

Watching this video of their opening act will be the best eight minutes you will ever spend this week. It’s totally laugh-out-loud funny!

And you know what happens after a good laugh? You laugh even more and your day just becomes even better-er!

Check out this video on YouTube:

P/S: My lightbulb must have been so turned on by me this morning, it ‘blacked out’ in ecstasy. I have the magic touch… hahaha!

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It’s my 30th birthday

Happy 30th BirthdayBe nice.

Today’s the day I turn 30. And I am a little nonchalant about the 30 years I have taken to get here. It should be an impressive milestone celebrated with the family, close friends and perhaps a life partner, but all I feel is ‘meh’. While in my teens, I’ve always thought I’d die young.You know, because I’d be living the fast and dangerous rebel’s life.

But the minute I hit 25, my perspective changed to ‘I want to live for as long as possible and to do great things in my life’. So far, I have accomplished the ‘live as long as possible’ bit, but sadly I’m still far away from the ‘do great things’ part and was getting depressed over it.

So what did I do? I Googled about ‘turning 30’. And my best friend did not let me down. In 0.43 seconds, it showed me 234,000,000 results on why turning 30 may not be that bad after all.

Julie Tilsner, who wrote about the subject in her book 29 and Counting, said:

‘Thirty is nothing to be afraid of. You’ve got a whole new decade to work with, and this time you’re prepared! You’re educated, you have years in the workplace, you finally know what your hair will and won’t do. You can still dance on tables, but you have some life experience. Turning 30 is actually a really awesome thing.’

All sounds very positive. So there’s absolutely nothing to feel gloomy or to freak out about.

30 Is Different for Everyone

When I was younger, I’d dream about being an astronaut, or a pilot (much like Tom Cruise from Top Gun. Still a brilliant film and a handsome guy, no matter what anyone says!) or Indiana Jones. Whether I become a lawyer or a doctor, I’d be cool, charismatic and carefree like the heroes I aspire to be.

Then I hit the teenage years and things started going downhill from there. I got mixed up in the wrong crowds, I played truant from school, I ran away from home, I gave up a promising sports career in the national team and I dropped out of school. All before I turned 16. In short, I got distracted from obtaining a good education that would supposedly set me on my path to greatness.

Two years later, I woke up metaphorically from my ‘going-nowhere-in-life’ slumber. I also had my first major heartbreak from a relationship I thought would last forever. I nearly killed myself because of one person, until my mum came home just in time to stop me. How silly, right? I felt stuck working in a restaurant. There is nothing with earning a decent living as a service staff, but it just didn’t feel like I was in the right job, doing the right thing I like. That got me thinking about my life, my future and myself.

I picked up the pieces, bit by bit. I changed to a permanent part-time job at a pub and I signed up for part-time classes to get the necessary certifications to get to the art school I wanted. I even went back to my former secondary school to seek help from my art teacher to improve my portfolio. That was how determined I was.

At age 20, I finally got into the art school I was aiming for. I was taking my car and motorbike licences. I had a relatively cushy part-time job. I met someone new to get over the heartbreak I had been nursing for the past two years. I was popular in school, just like in secondary school. So I was still cool, charismatic and carefree. I was delighted with life.

In the year that I was due to turn 21, I met someone who would prove to be a great love of my life. We spent all our waking hours together and we were inseparable and everyone was envious of us and what we had. There were rough moments. I had the nastiest temper and I was immature. And yet we were together for the next five years, most of which were good and we stuck together through the ups and all obstacles that objected to our relationship. We had a fiery relationship and sparks flew all the time. But it was tough to keep the spark between us alive, and ultimately, it was to burn out like a flame. I had to let go.

In my 25th year on earth, I found a job I enjoyed and something I can proudly proclaim to be relatively good at and skills that have enabled me to earn a decent living. I was a journalist. I’ve always wanted to write for a living and I did. I also met someone I thought I could fall in love with and start afresh in my love life. Well, it started afresh alright, but it wasn’t meant to last because I was still in love with the great love of my life. I couldn’t let go and it took a toll on me. I had volatile mood swings and my behaviour was dodgy. I would have dumped my sorry ass too, now that I am looking back. We spent close to a year together, but the relationship ended and gave me the second major heartbreak of my relatively young life. It took me a year to get over it and dust the debris away. One of the reasons I created this blog was to write about the pain I had inside me. I was broken for a long time, but while learning to deal with the pain, I learned many things about myself and I made some new lasting friendships that helped me through the turmoil I was in.

Soon the year I was turning 28 arrived. And I met someone whom I wanted to give my whole life to make her happy all the time. More than half of the posts published (and set as private) on this blog have been dedicated to her. I have never filled up so much virtual space about someone before. I have no idea if I would ever do (or feel) the same for anyone else again.

Now That I Am Finally 30
Now that I am turning 30, the past no longer seems like a chink on my armour. I get that I may not be as talented, as popular, as good-looking, as famous, as wealthy as other people my age, but it’s okay. I am still special in my own way; I am a little unique snowflake that will just be doing adult-like things in my own time. I may not be a best-selling author or a successful CEO yet, but I am still a success in my own way.

Should I have spent my teens studying hard and get Bs so I could have gotten into a good college? Should I have not spent all my hours on going to dance clubs and drink myself silly? On hindsight, maybe I should have. Should I have done better in art school instead of watching TV and playing Warcraft with my friends and indulging in Football Manager on most of my days? Maybe. But I didn’t, because I have not touched Warcraft or Football Manager since 2005 and I do not regret getting the most joy out of those games, even though I know I was wasting my time.

Yes, there are people who have made millions before they are 25, earn $10,000 a month by 27 or be famous and successful entrepreneurs before turning 30. Maybe I am an exception. Maybe I am on a different timeline from the rest and there is no happiness to be gained if I keep comparing myself with others. Life is not a race. Life is what you make of it and how happy and satisfied you deem yourself to be, not to spend your hours being envious of others.

Our whole idea about life before or after 30 should not be defined by the progress we are supposed to make or terms dictated by society. It doesn’t mean if we don’t realise our potential by 30, we are never going to succeed; there may be pieces of us that take years to gel and make us the successful person we will become.

According to Heidi Grant Halvorson, author of Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals, we should live our whole life as if we’re in our twenties. ‘It’s that keep-inching-forward mentality that will allow you to be happy with your choices.’

Yes, I admit I am a little sad at the things I have not accomplished or the stuff I thought I would have achieved by now like being an extremely successful high-flyer, having my own apartment, being with the love of my life and travelling around the world. Maybe I am too old to be an astronaut now. Maybe this is the wrong era to be Indiana Jones. Maybe there were many decisions I could have made to get to a different place from where I am now.

But, have I failed at life? I went from a school dropout to studying part-time for a business degree now (very much like Larry Crowne but without the hot lecturer. Nice movie anyway. Go watch it!). I went from a junior service staff to having a relatively okay-paying mid-level media job I enjoy. I have my health (until the results confirm otherwise) and my parents who love me more than I can ever imagine. I am much more confident now and wiser than in my 20s. I am also more than okay to spend time alone and to enjoy my own companionship. I also value myself more. I imagine life can only go up from here.

I am not sure if I will like the idea of turning 30 at all, but now that I am already here, I might as well enjoy it while it last. After all, there’s still the looming 31 to dread over.

So, I will enjoy the year ahead with as much vigour as a unique little snowflake should, because I am 30 and to hell with the rest of you, I’m gonna celebrate by pampering myself the whole of today.

Because today is my day, and no one can be Me-er than Me. 🙂

And stay tuned for the 30 life lessons I’ve learned from my 30 years.

[Image via Sommecards]

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Five life lessons from Dr Seuss

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I’m blogging this pic because the quotes are mostly taken from my favourite Dr Seuss book (ever since we read it for someone’s birthday) and there are five of them, which is my favourite number. Ha!

And reading the list of simple truths made me grin a silly happy grin, so I want to share my joy with you. Yes, you.

It’s amazing how Dr Seuss can write stories that appear to be made up of gibberish and yet they are so enlightening. Agree?

I am totally gonna live my life like how Dr Seuss thinks everyone should! Join me!

P/S: This is also one of the fastest blog posts I have ever written.

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Love is knowing who’s the boss

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My first thought when I look at this quote was: ‘Is this why I kept giving in to you all the time??’

HAHAHA! I felt very amused, so I took a photo of it when I was at the art museum (I love visiting art museums by the way). Then I remember how you’d always say that I’m bossy one, because I’d make sure we do things the right way like you have to eat proper meals or you shouldn’t rub your eyes or I must tuck you in bed so you can sleep well or you must eat your medicine or you should do this or that in a certain way …

And you’d tell me that I should let you do what you like even if it could be wrong, because it’s your choice and I can’t always ‘micromanage’ everything.

Then I’d tell you I do all these, because I care for you and want the best for you all the time. I’d explain to you cheerfully like: ‘If I don’t love you, I wouldn’t worry about you at all.’ And you’d roll your eyes in a ‘yah, right’ way. And I’d look sheepishly at you. Ha!

Sometimes when you’re in a good mood, you would say that I’m very caring or I’m very ‘motherly’. And I would roll my eyes and look sheepishly at you.

Then recently I realised I occasionally behave like this to almost everyone. Maybe I am a natural worrier and I feel responsible for most people’s well-being. Like that day I saw someone rubbing her eyes with her dirty hands and I insisted and nagged that she should wash them or her eyes would be infected and she might go blind until she relented. Or if I know someone hasn’t eaten, I’d nag non-stop at them to go eat something. Or when my friend lost her mobile phone in a cab and hadn’t done anything to retrieve it, I kept asking her to call the cab company and her phone until she gave in. Yes, I know… Bad habit.

Or how when I have meals with people, I would make sure everyone has enough to eat and would eat lesser so everyone has more. And I would keep telling everyone to take more food. Seriously! What’s wrong with me, right?!

I should really chill and let everyone, including the one I love, do whatever they like in any way they want, even if I think it’s better to do it my way. Haha!

Everyone should have a chance to make their own mistakes and I shouldn’t deprive them of that learning experience. Also, I guess if I don’t like my mum nagging at me all the time, why would other people want me to nag at them?!

So yes, I’m gonna stay cool from now on and let the world be. No one needs to know how caring or responsible or motherly or naggy or bossy I really am.