1

You wear smug so well

20140403-220318.jpg

(Here’s an inspirational quote to let you feel like you’ve enriched your life somewhat from reading this blog post.)

Hang on, you mean it’s April already? You mean we just went through three months of the new year as quickly as a flick of wrist? That can’t be right, can it? Geez, what have I done with my life in 2014? So much for saying 2014 would be a year of change. Hahaha! Resolution, FAIL.

So my exams ended on 24 February and I’ve been chilling since then with no care or worry in the world. It was awesome! In the process of letting my brain turn to vegetable after putting it through three years of mental hardship, I discovered quite a few things about myself that surprised me. So the “proverb” (not an exact idiom so to speak but the general feeling people talk about as they mature) is true; the older you get, the better you know yourself and the things you like or want.

Disclaimer: The truth is many people may not think I am mature because someone recently said I have the mental age of a teenager. That made me laugh out loud because it was so true. I’m extremely childish… If you get to know me in real life. So I think it’s better that you and I remain online buddies. Ha!

Anyway, here are three things I’ve realised about myself:

1. I have an obsessive personality. Once I get hooked to something or someone, I go all out and immerse myself with everything about them. I become so intense and focused that I devote all my free hours and thinking time to finding out more of a particular thing or person I’m into during this obsessive period. I can’t stop (and won’t stop) until all my energy is spent or I finally get sick of it. My obsession can last for as short as two weeks or as long as a few months. And I let nothing get into my way, which is pretty unhealthy if you think about it, because that can scare normal people off (if they knew). So far, only a few close friends know of my addict-like behaviour. Thank god they still love me! Oops.

2. The thing is I don’t really care who knows or what others may think about me. Yes, they can assume I’m childish or selfish or insane and be totally judgemental about me (even though they do not know me well at all). I don’t give a fuck! Honestly, I just want to be happy and laugh a lot all the time. I want to do the things I like or enjoy every day. And if I’m obsessed with someone or something, so be it! My heart feels fluffy and I’m always on a natural high; that’s all that matters to me. Remember, what clever Dr Seuss once said?

Those who mind won’t matter and those who matter won’t mind.

3. I definitely do not like pop or country music. In fact, I’ve deleted many pop songs from my iPhone playlist because I have never listened to them. I enjoy certain indie music and jazz tunes at times. I love house, trance and dance tracks when I’m on the go because of the energy! But my topmost favourites are electronic and chill-out lounge tracks (nearly all the songs that I’ve featured on this blog over the years can attest to that). Like hello, sexy times and soothing feels! How can anyone resist?

Case in point: The latest song on repeat in my playlist this week

You’re pushing me away and then you’re pulling. You wear smug so very well. If you were in love with me, I could never tell. You ask me, you ask me just to leave you, but then the bow breaks and it’s all through.

So hot, right? Go on, enjoy it. You’re welcome.

Find out more of the band and lyrics here.

Advertisements
0

How I made peace with 2013

20140101-211434.jpg

Happy New Year! Have you been nursing a hangover for the past few hours or has the first day of a brand new year been subdued? I’ve been feeling sluggish since I woke up, after having a late night out that had no alcohol involved. How amazing is that? Well, maybe just a few sips of muscato to match the festivity. But I don’t regret it at all, because I had one of the best and most memorable New Year’s Eve celebrations ever and my body is still paying for it. Unlike last year when 2012 was refusing to go away quietly without a fight (it was pouring heavily that day), today has been peaceful. I am so psyched that I can tell you confidently that the smell of optimism and change is in the air.

For this year’s round-up, I am going to do something a bit different. I am not going to write about the things I regret doing (or not doing) in the past 12 months, or whine about my losses and sadness, or grumble about not meeting my goals or career progress, because those are in the past and they should remain there. Why should I bring them back again? So I can make myself depressed again? IT would be far healthier if I just focus on what I can do from now on instead. Agree?

So to sum up my life in 2013, it’s that I’ve learned to be grateful for the things I have, the people I have by my side, my good health, my good looks, my job, my intelligence, my earning power (that has kindly allowed me to splurge on ridiculously expensive branded shoes), my growing maturity and ability to trust my instincts better. I can also let you in on another secret: I have never loved myself more than this moment and I love me more every day. 😀

Showing gratitude and learning to love yourself more may sound simple, but it is not easy to do when you have discontent in your life or when you feel lost or if you keep harping on the past or worrying about the future. The one new useful skill I learned this year was meditation. And it has helped me greatly in being at ease with myself. Here’s a quote that I came across recently and I hope it gives you the encouragement to find peace within yourself:

‘If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.’

Anyway, in other exciting news, I have compiled — without the help of WordPress — a decent round-up of my top five most popular posts on this blog from 1 Jan to today. I have even made little comments next to their links to encourage you to view them (hint!) again to see why they were so popular.

Top posts from 1 Jan 2013 – 31 Dec 2013

  1. Care for each other even when you’re angry (https://theimaginarator.wordpress.com/2012/12/24/care-for-each-other-even-when-youre-angry/)
    — Recalling an argument I had with someone and how I realised I needed to grow up.
  2. I woke up wanting to kiss you (https://theimaginarator.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/i-woke-up-wanting-to-kiss-you/) — I was missing the same person I fought with and looking at some artwork by Emin inspired me to blog about how much I wanted to kiss her again.
  3. It’s my 30th birthday (https://theimaginarator.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/its-my-30th-birthday/) — Narrating about the major events before I hit a big milestone in my life in one of my longest blog posts ever.
  4. Lorax made me LOL (https://theimaginarator.wordpress.com/2012/03/11/lorax-made-me-lol/) — This was one of the top posts of 2012 and I had never expected me gushing over how adorable the bears in the movie to be so popular.
  5. When you really matter to someone (https://theimaginarator.wordpress.com/2012/02/25/when-you-really-matter-to-someone/) — One of my saddest entries of the year after I was frustrated and had my heart broken by the same person. Again.

The number of views in 2023 was nearly double from the previous year’s views. Amazingly, huh?! Hahaha!

And since you’ve been such loyal readers, here are two BONUS posts that would keep you coming back for more. What can I say? I’m like Santa Claus, only better-looking. Haha!

  1. Tom Ford and Richard Buckley Forever (https://theimaginarator.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/tom-ford-and-richard-buckley-forever/) — A touching love story of how two stylish good-looking men met, fell in love, changed each others’ lives and adopted a baby together. What’s not to like?
  2. Talking to you makes my day (https://theimaginarator.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/you-totally-make-my-day/) — Another top post from 2012 and it was about how some of the happiest days in my life was texting with the same person.

Right, so I have no New Year resolutions to make, because stats in general have shown that most people tend to give up on their lists after three months. So, I am going to start on my work now. Yes, yes, my line between holidays and work has always been this blurry. I believe in being productive whenever I can, and not having my life being dictated by the calendar. You, on the other hand, have my blessing to remain horizontal in bed and enjoy the rest of your day. Have fun!

0

Make every day your masterpiece

20130531-215526.jpg

“Make every day your masterpiece” —John Wooden

I read this quote from my RSS feed yesterday and I was so inspired that I went to google more on John Wooden. Turns out he was a legendary basketball coach who wrote a book and had loads of inspirational quotes.

Here are a few quotes that stood out:

“If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”

“Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

Inspirational, huh? Read more here.

Meanwhile, let me update you on what happened in my life in the past nine days since the last time I blogged … in bullet points, I hope.

I turned down a high-flying job that offered a six-figure salary, because I decided that I need more free time and less stress at work … for the next foreseeable few months at least … to heal my heart (and repair my wrecked emotions?). Weak, I know.

Sometime late last week or early this week, I was pleasantly startled when I realised the physical pain that had been a permanent resident in my heart since a year ago was gone. How did it happen? I was in the midst of my morning mediation session, when I asked to be aware of where my body was feeling tension and how I was feeling emotionally — same questions that are asked in every session. For the longest time, I felt acute pain in the area where my heart resides, similar to a stab wound. The pain was especially intense two months ago when my thoughts were beyond my control. Then about a month ago, I started meditating to calm my mind down and to take the pain away. And I guess, it worked!

I ate more fast food meals and potato chips in the last two weeks than I ever had in prior months. My blood vessels are transporting oil within my body as I type this blog post.

I have missed gym sessions for the entire month. And I still feel really guilty.

My office’s cleaning lady among a few other colleagues complimented my new haircut and for some strange reason, it made me really happy. Weird, I know.

I watched the first two episodes of Mad Men‘s season six and I was blown away. The storyline, the cinematography, the colours, the outfits and the decors were amazing. After skipping the entire second to fifth seasons, I’m finally hooked to this Emmy award-winning TV drama series.

I am also watching the reruns of Sex And The City and I’m absolutely hooked to this one. It’s extremely hilarious, even though the ladies are clearly too wanton liberal-minded for the situations to be true IRL.

I texted my ex-girlfriend Happy Birthday yesterday without expecting any reply in return and it turned to be a rather meaningful, but short, conversation.

I also texted two friends whom I haven’t seen in a long time separately Happy Birthday on different days and they were pleased that I remember.

I think this girl I know has a crush on me. But I could just be narcissistic.

I watched the final two episodes of How I Met Your Mother‘s season eight and I finally saw Ted’s future bride. It was … underwhelming. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but after eight seasons, finally seeing the mother wasn’t as exciting as I’d thought. I don’t think she’s pretty either. But I did feel more for Ted. And I’m beginning to see why I’m starting to empathise with him.

“Maybe we don’t need the universe to tell us what we want; maybe we already know deep down what we really want.” —Ted Mosby

“You can’t cling to the past, because no matter how tightly you hold on to it, it’s already gone.” —Ted Mosby

“Is she really [out there]? Because I’ve looked. I have looked high and low for someone I can love and adore and cook waffles for.” —Ted Mosby

I had been having really bad insomnia that I even had to meditate to help me drift to sleep. My sleep efficiency has increased as a result!

Also, if you have free time, do watch Before Sunrise and Before Sunset — two of the best romantic films ever in the cinematic history of romantic films.

That’s it from me, folks! My last blog post for the month of May on the last day of May in the last hour of the day before a new day and month arrives. How poetic.

0

A 2012 review of The Imaginarator’s blog

Happy New Year… ‘ssss Eve! In a few exciting hours’ time, it’d be the start of a brand new year. Maybe that is why it has been pouring chubby dogs and fat cats the entire day. Year 2012 is refusing to go away quietly, without a long-drawn-out fight for its right to stay.

Anyway, in other exciting news, WordPress.com has kindly helped compile a very pretty 2012 annual report (lovely pic included) for this five-year-old blog. Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 10,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 17 years to get that many views.

The number of views is nearly a five-fold increase from last year. Amazingly, huh?! And these are the top five posts that got the most views in 2012 and they all have got one thing in common. It was about the love I had for someone. Impressive, huh?! My writing has staying power. Hahaha!

Okay, I have to start on my other year-end lists now. See you in 2013!

0

Top five regrets of the dying

20121206-005253.jpg

What would your biggest regret be if this were to be your last day of life?

With the very popular Mayan legend that has been spreading like wildfire that 21 December 2012 might very well be the day that the world ends, you have to admit that wondering how you’ve lived your life so far is an intriguing (but rather fruitless) thought.

In exactly 15 days, you may (probably not true, but let’s speculate for fun) be living your very last day on this planet. So if you will never live to see 22 December or beyond the year, would you be happy with the way you have lived your life? Are there absolutely no regrets? And how would you be spending the last day of your life? Who would be the one to hold your hand and pull you close in a loving embrace when the world ends? What would be your last thought?

Interestingly, earlier this year an article was published on The Guardian UK and drew widespread attention, largely because it speaks to our circumstances in life and illustrate how we are trapped to our jobs and why we no longer cherish the things that should be top on our list.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which was turned into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Here are three of the top five regrets that I can relate to:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

Thought-provoking, isn’t it?

What’s your greatest regret so far and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die? Or, more appropriately, before the world ends.

P/S: If the world did not end on 21 December, it might just be the kick-up-the-arse you need to begin a new era for the rest of your life. A brand new beginning.

2

Five life lessons from Dr Seuss

20121122-223454.jpg

I’m blogging this pic because the quotes are mostly taken from my favourite Dr Seuss book (ever since we read it for someone’s birthday) and there are five of them, which is my favourite number. Ha!

And reading the list of simple truths made me grin a silly happy grin, so I want to share my joy with you. Yes, you.

It’s amazing how Dr Seuss can write stories that appear to be made up of gibberish and yet they are so enlightening. Agree?

I am totally gonna live my life like how Dr Seuss thinks everyone should! Join me!

P/S: This is also one of the fastest blog posts I have ever written.

1

My 30th birthday is approaching

Hi there! I created this blog post on 16 October and did a draft, but didn’t feel like it was good enough to be published. So I thought I’d give myself one more month to let my thoughts incubate a bit more before I let you read my inner, deepest, darkest, funniest thoughts. Heh.

I know I don’t update this blog regularly as much as I said I would, but there are just times when I don’t know what to write about or that I know what I want to say but I have difficultly expressing my thoughts eloquently. Irony, I know. So I feel that the wisest thing to do sometimes is not write or talk at all if I have nothing to say or can’t think coherently.

So it’s 16/17 November today (depending on which time zone you’re in). And in around 30 days or so, it’d be my 30th birthday. Which means I’ve revolved around the sun 30 times. Mind-blowing, I know.

It’s also Ludwig van Beethoven’s birthday. He would have been 242 years old. Or may have never been born if his mother had chosen to abort him because she was afraid that he’d be disabled, according to urban myths. Thankfully, she allowed him to live and create some of the best classical compositions I’ve ever listened to.

My favourite compositions are Moonlight Sonata and Fur Elise. Have a listen, if you haven’t already. I remember the emotions that overcame me when I first heard them. It was as though I could feel the pain he went through when he could not be with the girl he had loved dearly and because of the love he felt for her, he wrote and dedicated this sonata for her. Lovely.

AND 16 December was also the day when The Boston Tea Party occurred! Ok, that was not so positive. Moving on…

So apparently if you did a Google search, turning 30 is really a big deal for almost everyone. Seriously, there are about 530,000,000 results online helping you dissect why the number 30 is scary. So you’re not alone. There are millions of people who are freaking out just like what you are doing right now. Not me, I am feeling pretty calm.

But I guess the biggest questions on my mind are: “What have I achieved in the past 30 years? What can I be proud of? What should I do from now? Do I have any regrets? Am I happy? Have I fulfilled my life goals? Am I leading a meaningful life?”

OK, now I get why turning 30 can be depressing.

I had two of the most memorable birthday celebrations when I was 28 and 29 with this girl who I think the world of (nearly half of the blog posts here are written about or for her). I try not to let my mind wonder about how my 30th birthday celebration would be like. It’s better to focus on the present for now. And whatever will be, will be.

But just like the quote above, I hope all the wisdom and inner peace I’ve been seeking my whole life, especially more fervently in the past year, will miraculously appear when I finally hit 30. And stay tuned for my upcoming ’30 for 30′ series of posts in the run-up to my big day. Yay.

[Image via The Creative Paige]