0

I’m not saying I hate you

20140622-204436-74676259.jpg

In fact, I’d even get the best seat in the house to watch you BURN. You get the drift…

My friend said I should just ditch idiots who make me unhappy, because life is too short to spend so much time being angry and miserable. Utter truth!

I had three conversations with three different people today and they all said the same things. The gist of our highly intelligent, wise and mature debate (well, it was more of me ranting non-stop while they listened and gave me advice) is that we don’t need unnecessary drama in our lives.

If people choose to be selfish and childish, then there is absolutely no reason why we should indulge them further. We should let them go and cut them loose forever to allow ourselves to grow and be better than them. We shouldn’t even stoop to their level because we are way above them and they are simply basic bitches that deserve the worse things in life.

Plus, I had been stewing in anger for the past six hours, while those idiots were probably enjoying their lives and ignoring my existence. See, how unfair this is? Because of my foolish anger, I let my productivity slide when I could have done so many things during those lost hours. This is why harbouring anger never pays off.

Today’s event also teaches me a lesson. It is that I can be very vindictive and behave very rashly whenever I get angry. I let my emotions take over and become very unreasonable. This is extremely unhealthy and I’ll most likely get a brain aneurism if I continue to let unhappy thoughts flood my mind. So I need to chill the fuck out and let things go already!

Conclusion: I need to change my mindset and behaviour towards people who do not deserve my respect, because my health deserves my utmost attention and I, more than anyone else, deserve to be happy!

0

Lisa Kudrow’s epic speech on sexism

If you haven’t started watching the TV drama Scandal, you are missing out. You’ve gotta watch at the very least the sixth episode of the show’s third season, because it will blow your mind, especially if you believe in gender equality. I know I do, that’s why this was so inspiring.

In this episode of Scandal, Lisa Kudrow’s character, Congresswoman Josie Marcus delivers a scathing take-down of sexism in modern politics and the semantics with which men subtly put females down to her interviewer James Novak in an interview that is broadcast live on national TV.

“I know what prejudice looks like. It’s not about experience, James. It’s about gender. [Political opponent Governor Sam] Reston’s saying I don’t have the balls to be President and he means that literally. It’s offensive. It’s offensive to me and to all the women whose votes he’s asking for.”

Wow, right? Can you feel the room heating up? And the congresswoman goes on firing her bullets.

“It’s not just Governor Reston speaking in code about gender; it’s everyone, yourself included. The only reason we’re doing this interview in my house is because you requested it. This was your idea and here you are, thanking me for inviting you into my ‘lovely home’. That’s what you say to the neighbour lady who baked you chocolate-chip cookies. This pitcher of iced tea isn’t even mine; it’s what your producers set here. Why? Same reason you called me a ‘real-life Cinderella story’. It reminds people that I’m a woman without using the word. For you, it’s an angle, I get that, and I’m sure you think it’s innocuous, but guess what, it’s not.”

Powerful. Cutting. Straight to the point. And the politician who strives to be nice 24/7 finally shows that she has the temerity to bite when threatened. Strength is not derived from your gender, but your character.

“You’re promoting stereotypes, James. You’re advancing this idea that women are weaker than men. You’re playing right into the hands of Reston and into the hands of every other imbecile who thinks a woman isn’t fit to be commander-in-chief.”

The background story for her outburst is that minutes before her interview, Marcus is shown an ad from her political opponent Reston. The ad shows a woman’s trembling hand reaching for a doorknob, as the voiceover says: “On the other side of this door sit the leaders of Syria, China, and Iran. On the other side of this door is America’s future — success and failure, life and death. Does America really want an inexperienced hand opening this door?”

The ad doesn’t say it outright, but its subtext is indicating that a woman would not be confident enough to lead a country. Anyway, later in the episode, it was revealed that the ad was fake and created by Marcus’ campaign manager Olivia Pope to motivate her. Kinda expected if you’ve been following Scandal religiously. But still, excellent scriptwriting from the team, great editing and, of course, the kick-ass performance from Kudrow (but I have to admit that I keep expecting Phoebe Buffay to appear any moment).

The whole time I was watching the scene, I was subconsciously thinking of Hilary Clinton and whether she’d have the balls to make a speech like that. And would the American public love her or crush her in return? I’m already looking forward to the US presidential election in three years’ time, when hopefully Clinton or another strong capable female would run for the presidency and win. But most importantly, she would be an inspiring leader who runs the country efficiently and effectively. Now that would be quite a story to tell our future generations, don’t you think?

Credits: Celebuzz.com, The Atlantic

Standard
0

A new era

20120126-011041.jpg

Today is the first day of a new beginning. At least this is what I have been thinking since last Friday. In a way, my self-prophecy came true. Obviously, I wish I had better comeback lines to outwit the nasty people I had to deal with on a regular basis. But today is not the time to ruminate about the past.

Ok, I know you are confused right now and you have absolutely no idea what I am rambling about. Please be patient while I sort my thoughts out and turn them into a more coherent format.

But hey, since I’m feeling generous during this Chinese New Year period, here are some clues: career, crossroads and courage.

This will be one of the greatest lessons you will ever learn about life and career in general – something that they never teach in school. Why? Because it’s something only life can teach you. And here I’m giving it to you for free.

It’s simple. I’m shit scared but I have to take this leap of faith if I want to truly succeed. If I continue to be shit scared because I fear looking silly or facing failure, then I will always have that “what if” on my mind. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? Right? Glad you came to the same conclusion.

So yes, I admit that I’m shit scared. But I am also telling myself this: “Use this fear as motivation to do better. You only live once. You can always pick yourself up, no matter what. The most important thing is you have to try.”

Because if you never try, you will never know. What makes you think you won’t succeed? Why not think of it as “every move you make is a step closer to success”?

And it doesn’t mean you sit there and wait for things to drop on your lap. You have to understand that it’s going to be extremely tough and you will have to put in effort to ensure that you are well-prepared and ready to take up the opportunity when it arrives.

Being grateful helps too. When you show gratitude to the good things in your life and people who have helped you, you will find that more of the same will come to you.

But always, always remember that you are worthy of the success that is coming your way. So dream big and prepare yourself in all ways possible to receive it.

You can do it. Happiness is in your hands.

0

Worst day of my life

Today is officially the worst day of my life in January and it is only the 10th day of the new year.

It was so bad from the minute I walked into the office until 8.46pm – yes, until this very moment – that I officially want to quit my job or kill myself. I kept telling myself that it can get only better and there will be an end in sight. There was none.

I finally buckled and called my friend for help. In the end, I was filled with so much frustrations that I broke down in the car, unable to stop crying. Thinking about the day’s events and how weak I felt made me even angrier.

The call I received at 6.45pm was humiliating, to say the least. I can’t believe someone had the cheek to make those comments to me. Worst of all, I can’t believe I let myself land into this situation. I never had to sink so low my entire life and it’s an experience I am going to remember for a very very very long time.

Unable to get over the humiliation, I drove blindly and I nearly crashed into the barrier while exiting the highway. The moment when I had to swerve wildly to avoid hitting a car and the barrier while a motorbike was following closely behind my car scared the crap out of me.

If I didn’t steer away in time, I would be stuck with a wrecked car at the highway and a lot of explaining to do to the police. That woke me up. I didn’t feel better about myself but at least I was more focused.

I did what I had to do. I will survive and recoup my losses and I will come up with a solution to deal with this. For now, I just need the day to end.

Tomorrow, I will activate my positive neurones and face the world like I am infallible again. Goodnight.

0

Breaking point

(This post was typed halfway 14 Sep on my way home after yet a long exhausting day at work. I finally have time to finish it on 15 Sep.)

I AM SO SWAMPED AND BURIED WITH SO MUCH WORK AND COURSEWORK THAT I AM FEELING ALL CHOKED UP and sleep-deprived.

I was so close to breaking point working in the office alone tonight that when someone appeared out of nowhere with dinner as a surprise, I felt so blessed. Hehe.

Still, it has only been three/four days since I last blogged and I had to cramp in so many responsibilities in under 72 hours. I have never felt so drained my entire life.

I think about work before I sleep and the moment I wake up. I worry so much about failure that I have lost my appetite. I have dark eye rings and a permanent scowl on my face. I literally feel like I’m being pushed to a corner with nowhere to run. It is that horrific.

It has been an intense eight, coming to nine, days that I don’t think I can continue living/sleeping/working/studying with only 24 hours a day. It is impossible. And I haven’t even added in leisure time. Sad face.

I have also stopped logging onto ALL social networks for a very long time. I don’t even know if I am missing out on anything. Even if I did, I guess I couldn’t care less because I feel so liberated. My mind is so much clearer and I am more focused on the things that matter.

The only concession I made was on Saturday because people started adding me on Facebook and telling me they have added me so I couldn’t avoid not logging in. But I am proud to say I didn’t stay long and I wasn’t even interested to look at those new friends I added. (Actually I have never looked at new friends’ profiles. I don’t know why I don’t care! Maybe because I am more interesting than them. Ha!)

PHOOOOOO…. that was a huge long sigh of breath, not a fart. In an ironic way I have never felt more alive – having to cramp hours of revision, work in group project, conduct hours of research, show leadership, fulfil regular work tasks on top of understanding a totally new subject. All these things leave me with no space or time to think about anything else but survival and sleep.

I like sleeping. I miss sleeping. I enjoy sleeping. Which is why I’m going to enjoy my comfy, soft, fluffy kingsized bed now. Hehe. It’s almost as gluey as BTB.

See you.

Oh! I have to add this before I forget. A second, (and third and fourth) person asked if I was 21/22 years old on Sunday. I nearly choked on my drink.

“No, I’m not 22.”

“But you look so young. Are you sure? I keep thinking you are younger than me.”

Turns out that person was only 24. (again, this girl looked closer to 30! The other two people who asked me my age over lunch were much older and look old too. I feel young besides them!)

Which made me really puzzled because I was the unofficial leader for the team. And everyone was obediently following my instructions and listening to me. If they had all assumed I was only 21 and that they were much older and yet they were willing to be led by me, then WOW, I must have awesome leadership skills.

You can’t get me out of your mind now, isn’t it?

Also, a big decision was made yesterday… More exciting updates to follow shortly.

0

The colour of Monday

I was so annoyed with the people I work with today I scratched my neck in frustration. Now there are big red marks on my neck and they hurt. To think I still wonder why I am losing my hair in an alarming rate.

Seriously, I counted last night – I saw more than 10 strands among the suds when I was shampooing my hair and there were 11 strands of hair on the bathroom floor by the time I finished drying my hair. That is excluding the ones I found on the bedroom floor and on the bed. I know an average human being would shed around 50 to 100 strands of hair a day. But really, this is excessive for someone with short hair. So yes, my possible hair loss is worrying the crap out of me and I don’t know what to do. Yet.

And will someone please let me use their shower facilities? The water heater at my place broke and I have been forced to bathe with extremely cold water the past three days. Let’s put it in perspective. The water is so cold that even my pee is hotter than it so technically speaking, I’d rather bathe in my pee than the freezing water. Besides, wasn’t there research that said urine has antibacterial properties? No? Then you probably should not come near me until the heater gets fixed. Just saying.

Right now, I am eating a packed lunch that (I suspected was cooked by my sister and I think she should keep her full-time job) consists of macaroni, some mixed vegetables, hotdogs, cuttlefish balls and tomato pasta sauce.

This has been a tiring Monday morning and the end is not even in sight. There were plenty of times when I wanted to hit the table or scream out in anger because people were being stupid. And there are at least five more hours to go before I can officially leave the office.

So my mentor once told me that I have to be more tolerant and easy-going and not take things personally when things are going against me. He said the best thing I can do is to let go and smile and things will naturally look up. All I can say is he hasn’t seen the people I have to deal with for work.

So it’s lunchtime now and after I thought about what would be calming for me, I decided to blog about it. Blogging has therapeutic qualities for me in that I get to voice my frustrations out loud to you, Internet, without bothering anyone IRL. Also, solutions might soon emerge by themselves after all my ranting. (I hope.)

Usually, I’d feel better because I’d realise that things are not as bad as they sound and I have so many things to be grateful for so I tend to become a more pleasant human being after that. (Again, I hope at least it appears that way.)

So yes, reminding myself of the things I am grateful for is a philosophy I stand by because when I remember how good life has been / is treating me, I would immediately smile and the weight on my shoulders becomes lighter. Also, repeating the line “life is too short to waste my energy on stupid people” tends to help. HA.

Another thing that keeps me grounded to happiness is when I think of the awesome times we spent together. If we had any hilarious conversations or videos or photos of us doing silly things, I would be looking through the recent ones on my phone or email inbox, thinking about the next time we get to see each other again. Now that will definitely make me grin.

Writing about our adventures together is another great therapy for me. It not only helps me document our happy memories, it also inspires me to be the best I can be for us when I know we have so much more to look forward to.

Oh yes. Come on, I know you’re mostly here to read about our love story. Stop denying it. Ha!

0

I’m alive

Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…… No, this isn’t some weird Lolzcat speak for “hi”. This is a really really really long low monotonous DUH sounding sigh that if you were in front of me, the impact would knock you over because it’s still echoing through my mouth.

Which means…… I’M ALIVE! I’M ALIVE!

After sleeping less than four hours the last two days in an awkward sitting position because I dozed off halfway punching out a 2,500-word feature and 800-word column, I thought I wouldn’t survive past the today’s deadline.

My neck and shoulders are creaky but I musn’t complain. Because I can finally move on with the rest of my life. Only the rest of my life consists of putting out three more print editions before this year ends. I wept two nights ago by the way. I had to face the public with my left eye way smaller than the right next day. THE ENTIRE DAY! Oh god, the amount of self consciousness that I had to keep at bay.

I honestly doubt if I can survive this Darth Vader-like “force choke” work pressure by myself because good staff are hard to find these days. After the issues I had with, not one, but two irresponsible young former employees this week, I am mentally scarred. The weirdest thing is when I relate my traumatising experience with bad staff to people I sort of trust, they understood my point of view. I’m very relieved to know I’m not the one who needs a hard knock on the head. Say what you want about fair employment, I am already forming some very discriminating thoughts about what I don’t want to see in the next hire. Bite me.

My goal this weekend is to watch tv, sleep, clean my room, watch more tv, exercise, nap, watch even more tv. Oh and eat! Mustn’t forget about sustenance, especially since I’ve stopped eating regularly the last two months. Silly, I know. I can be overly ambitious at times.

What I learned about myself is I am kinda ok slogging through work and I obviously want to do the best I can but I rather spend my time creating a well-oiled efficient army of minions to carry out my commands. How else am I supposed to rule the world?

Let me interrupt you reading here for a second. I have to say this before I forget. Glee is hilarious! Ok, done.

Well, there are 10 more days before October ends. Sometimes I wish I have someone to call and just talk about what’s really bothering me. Or even share some random interesting and amusing things I see daily without worrying if I am overdoing it. Maybe I think too much because I am secretly idealistic because I have issues about the past because I am just a … Maybe I need to go sleep now. But I’m free from deadlines which means I can sleep properly! At least for the next few days! Yay!