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I’m not saying I hate you

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In fact, I’d even get the best seat in the house to watch you BURN. You get the drift…

My friend said I should just ditch idiots who make me unhappy, because life is too short to spend so much time being angry and miserable. Utter truth!

I had three conversations with three different people today and they all said the same things. The gist of our highly intelligent, wise and mature debate (well, it was more of me ranting non-stop while they listened and gave me advice) is that we don’t need unnecessary drama in our lives.

If people choose to be selfish and childish, then there is absolutely no reason why we should indulge them further. We should let them go and cut them loose forever to allow ourselves to grow and be better than them. We shouldn’t even stoop to their level because we are way above them and they are simply basic bitches that deserve the worse things in life.

Plus, I had been stewing in anger for the past six hours, while those idiots were probably enjoying their lives and ignoring my existence. See, how unfair this is? Because of my foolish anger, I let my productivity slide when I could have done so many things during those lost hours. This is why harbouring anger never pays off.

Today’s event also teaches me a lesson. It is that I can be very vindictive and behave very rashly whenever I get angry. I let my emotions take over and become very unreasonable. This is extremely unhealthy and I’ll most likely get a brain aneurism if I continue to let unhappy thoughts flood my mind. So I need to chill the fuck out and let things go already!

Conclusion: I need to change my mindset and behaviour towards people who do not deserve my respect, because my health deserves my utmost attention and I, more than anyone else, deserve to be happy!

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Minnie the moocher

I love this song! This has been on my nighttime playlist for the past one week. I love the tune, the trumpet and the chorus — basically how the music is arranged. The 1930s were a great era for jazz music. While electronic genre is my all-time favourite, jazz is high up among my top three list. I used to buy jazz CDs back then when CDs were all the rage. How I wish I could travel back in time and visit The Cotton Club in all its pomp and glory. Ho de Ho de Ho! Hi de hi de Hi! He de he de he!

Wonderfully catchy. I still have no idea what the great Cab Calloway is singing about though. I’m too busy twirling around the room to this song to figure the lyrics out. It’s such a perfect ditty for Sunday (or any other day), isn’t it?

This reminds me of the Golden Age that Woody Allen featured in his movie Midnight in Paris. That’s one of my favourite films of all time too. It has great cinematography, lighting, music, a whimsical storyline and, most importantly, nearly all my favourite artists and writers of the era. It also has a killer soundtrack to boot.

I’ve always wanted to travel back in time to experience all the glories (or tragedies) and great moments that make history what it is today. Since young, I’ve always thought I belong to another era and would feel more at home in the olden days. I guess that’s why I love history and films about historic periods. And that’s why I love Midnight In Paris; it was as though Woody read my mind and brought my character as Gil to life.

All this nostalgia is making me wanna watch the film again. Be right back!

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Believe in yourself

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It’s the final countdown: Eight more days before I’m officially free from the agonising hours of cramping copious amounts of academic information into my memory and regurgitating them out in a three-hour session. I’m so excited and so lazy at the same time. Instead of focusing on the present and the things I have to do NOW, I keep fantasising about the future, which is detrimental to my productivity.

I recently tweeted that I’d be more productive if I read less, watch fewer TV shows and stop taking so many naps in a day. It’s true, you know, maybe if I didn’t have a TV or Internet, I’d have found a cure for cancer or win a Nobel prize by now. Haha!

In the past one month of not blogging (because I was busy with two major projects), I sense a fear growing within me and I shall verbalise it now, so you can help me chase the demons away.

Sometimes I lay awake in bed at night wondering: Many people have said I will accomplish great things in my life, but what if I never fulfil my destiny?

What happens then? Am I doomed to wander the earth like six other billion faceless souls living ordinary lives? Scary thought, huh?

I guess this is where desire steps in and forces me to stay focused and brave and disciplined. I also realise I tend to be more philosophical on Sundays. It’s like I let my thoughts culminate the whole week and I pour them out to you.

So I will end this blog post on a positive note, because we all need encouragement at times to spur us forward (especially more so if you have doubts as often as I do). If you were looking for a sign that you’re on the right path, here it is.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. There’s no one better at fulfilling your dreams than you. So go for it.

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Nothing makes me happier

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Nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder … than you.

It’s true. I haven’t felt right for a long time. It’s nearly 1.5 or two years… The past few days I had so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind, as I recalled the conversation we used to have. Oh well, let’s move on. I can only feel ’emo’ for this long. Besides, this quote is applicable for my studies and shopping purchases as you will read below…

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged for close to a month. In my defence, I was swamped with work and studies, though there’s nothing to crow about, since I will most likely not get any first-class honours. It’d be a miracle if I do receive high distinctions for my papers. Still, my fingers will remain crossed. After all, I’m always lucky. You never know…

Also, in spite of my busy schedule, I found time to go on a shopping spree, which was therapeutic, but certainly not cheaper than getting a massage or spa treatment. In fact, I might need to see a therapist after this. You know how it is when your friends show off their shopping goodies and you’d tut-tut at them for spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on branded clothes, bags and shoes (and sometimes they’d be broke after that)? And then you would exclaim how you would never spend that much money on such materialistic items, because you are absolutely confident that you can find cheaper and equally nice substitutes? Yup, I’ve become one of those people you’d tut-tut at for spending ridiculous amounts of dough on luxury goods. Now I know why Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And The City goes crazy over expensive branded shoes. I totally get you now, Carrie.

I swear I’m not a brand whore, BUT … The stuff I buy are really, really nice, because I have excellent taste and fabulous dress sense. Ahem. Anyway, I’m lazy to post pictures; you just gotta trust me on this. I highly recommend everyone to buy ridiculously expensive clothes and shoes, because they are really comfortable. And the quality is absolutely topnotch — so good you know for certain it will probably outlast your lifespan. Say, you slip your feet in well-crafted exquisitely soft leather shoes, you’d immediately feel like “Ah… This is what a good life should be.”

Once you buy your first pair of $500-700 luxury shoes, you’ll wonder why have you spent half of your life without them. And the next thing you know… You’re signing a credit card slip for a $1,200-worth pair of shoes. Yup, by the time you reach home, you’re still in a daze from the swiftness of that transaction, but you are also gleeful of how good you look in the mirror. Then when you add the cost of the branded shirts and bottoms to the shoes, you’d realise your outfit from head to toe is probably worth around $1,000 or more, which would shock you for like five seconds and then you’d quickly put it out of your mind. Because you’re thinking of your next purchase. True story.

The only thing I haven’t splurged on is bags, because I have a specific requirement for them. But I have my eye on a few items already… So don’t be surprised if you see me on the streets looking like a million bucks one day; my outfit would probably have cost that much. Hahaha!

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Goosebumps Sunday

Just saw this on Guardian UK’s football section and I had goosebumps tingling all over my arms the minute Prince started singing. Ian McCourt was right. It’d be a good song to dance in my underpants to … would be even better if it was raining out there now. Not that I’m in my underpants getting ready to dance or anything, but maybe you’d be inspired:

‘If there is a better song out there than Purple Rain to dance around the house to in your underpants, then I haven’t heard it. Not that I do that … anymore *awkward pause* Just listen to the song.’ — Ian McCourt

Now you watch it and feel those goosebumps too. A classic song is always a wonderful way to end a lovely Sunday!

But if you really want to get major goosebumps, you should attend a love football match and sit at the home end to soak up the atmosphere and energy IRL! I recently watched a YouTube video of around 60,000 really passionate Napoli football fans chanting their latest hero and it was AMAZING. I felt like I was there with them and I could feel their passion radiating through the screen. I was won over that night and I thought it must really be the best feeling in the whole world if I were a star footballer and had so many adoring fans showing their support. Ooh, I’m re-watching the video and I’m getting goosebumps again!

Also, today is my dog’s birthday. He turns two and I’m off to give him a squishy hug, which really annoys him, because he is usually asleep when I disturb him. Hehe. According to the Internet, my dog is either 13/14 years old in human terms! Wow, Milo is a teenager and yet he still looks like an adorable baby boy (in my eyes). He’s the reason why I am capable of giving unconditional love. I know this to be true, because every time I walk past Milo in his “turkey legs” pose, my heart sings with joy at how cute he is.

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Do something for your future self today

Always put yourself first.

Always put yourself first.

I thought this would be inspirational for everyone, since it’s Monday again — the start of another work week. Oh, the horrors. I haven’t been able to log into WordPress via the iPhone app, so some intelligent tech person has to sort that out pronto. It feels weird to be blogging on my laptop, since the last time I did that was months ago. That’s how useful the WordPress iPhone app has been, but I think the new iOS 7 is screwing some of its functionality. SORT IT OUT, WordPress.

So I spent the past two days trying to juggle several things at once, and have successfully not accomplished a single thing. This goes to show how bad I am at multitasking, but also how good I am at procrastinating. It really depends on which perspective you prefer to see. Ahem.

On the bright side, I have sort of formulated a long-term plan for my future. What’s next is to overcome my fears and hesitation in detailing the steps to achieve it and then, of course, carrying it out faithfully. But right now, I have six 1,200-word essays to finish by end-September and one 3,000-word coursework to complete by 7 October. Argh! I felt like I have wasted my whole weekend doing nothing of importance. All my 48 hours were not being utilised well, because I had to sleep, eat, shower, entertain friends and watch TV. Somehow, writing this blog post feels like more precious time is being taken up too. Sorry, my loyal readers, I was only being brutally honest. That’s why you love me! Ahem.

So, I am going to do something today that my future self will thank me for. Spend the next 40 35 minutes doing a quick draft of one essay before I watch the derby match between my beloved Manchester United and those City wannabes. And sleep by 1:30am, so my liver can be super productive and start detoxifying my body.

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

Photo credit: The sweet Internet

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Obsessing over Jaime and Julie

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Photo credit: The Internet

These past few days weeks I’ve been obsessing over two really, really hot female celebrities who are best friends IRL. They flirt, squabble, tease, laugh and are so close that I (plus all the fangirls/sci-fi geeks/nerdsbians over the world) really think that they should get married and walk off into the sunset. That’s how insanely good they look together. /me swoons and fans self.

I’ve been following their Twitter feeds, their fans’ Tumblr, Vine and YouTube (sometimes Pinterest) links and I still can’t get enough of Jaime Murray and Julie Benz. That’s how addicted I am to both of them as of 1 September 2013. It should be illegal for anyone to be so incredibly beautiful, funny, genuine, intelligent, snarky and gay-friendly at the same time. /me cannot stop hyperventilating and drool.

Because of Jaime and Julie (yeah, we are on a first-name basis now), I’ve recently learned new words like “nerdsbians”, “fangirls”, “fangirling”, “trolling”, “shtako” and, not forgetting, “squeee”. Argh, so hot!

Is it socially acceptable to cancel on friends at the very last minute just to stay home to google and refresh the shit out of the inter-webs just so I can gaze/watch/sigh at new tweets/pictures/videos of Jaime and Julie? Because that’s what I did yesterday and I have no ounce of regret or remorse. I didn’t even care what was on TV; I just wanted more Jaime info. I didn’t even want to start writing my business proposal which was time-critical, because Jaime > work.

You know there’s a game where out of three people, you choose to either marry, fuck and kill them? I’d so marry and fuck Jaime and kill everyone who gets in my way. That’s how massive my crush is for her right now!

And then I read about how she loves her lesbians for being “so intelligent and snarky” and how she graciously accepted her coronation as the Queen of Unicorns (and dragons) and how she even helped a girl propose to her girlfriend in front of the audience at Dragon Con. Oh and that Brit accent and caustic wit. Can she be anymore perfect? /me continues to swoon.

NB: The only thing that could make this even more awesome than it already is would be that Jaime has a gorgeous gay partner in real life. Omg that would be my fantasies come true! Make it happen, somebody!

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Life is good, sometimes I forget

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It’s true, you know. Sometimes I tend to forget how wonderful my life is, especially in times when I allow frustration or doubts to creep into my mind and fill me up with dissatisfaction. Then I think about at least three good things I have going on in my life at the present moment and I become thankful for my life all over again.

So three things I’m currently grateful for:

1) My dog Milo who is absolutely the cutest old man with the saddest eyes in the world. This look is not a combo that any dog or human bean can beat. The minute he cuddles up to me on the couch (after trying to bite me no less), my heart just melts. He’a a naturally independent dog, you see. Attention-seeking Milo may be, but he is content to sleep alone without anyone beside him most of the times. So yes, it feels like a bonus when he snuggles with me.

2) My cable TV which has all the channels available along with HD resolution, so I can watch any programme I want at anytime and any day of the week! If only “The Duggers Family” and “Kate + Eight” are still playing on Discovery Home and Living. But hey, having HBO and FX are pretty awesome already. If I ever had to have a TV channel to epitomise me, FX would be the one. It’s smart, witty, funny, quirky cool, stylish and has the best collection of songs. So me. Haha!

3) My literacy, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to appreciate excellent TV shows with topnotch writing such as “Scandal”, “Games of Thrones”, “Mad Men”, “Archer”, “Two Broke Girls”and “Californication”, just to name a few. Without my literacy, I wouldn’t be able to laugh at enjoyable reads such as Mindy Kaling’s “Is everyone hanging out without me?” and Rick Riordan’s “The Heroes of Olympus” and “The Kane Chronicles”. Eh, I said enjoyable, not Pulitzer-winning reading material.

Enjoy your week, every birdie! And if you’re so inclined, do share your list of three things you’re thankful for today. The universe will love you for it. Remember, life is good.

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A kiss between two cute girls

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These two girls are so incredibly cute together. I so want to see them together forever. Yes, even though they are just high-school kids who are probably susceptible to mood swings/fickleness/indecisiveness about love and their partners and have yet to enter the real adult world, Glee’s Santana and Brittany are the cutest ‘Lebanese’ couple in TV-land and I just can’t get enough of them. They give me so much hope. Seeing them make out is alluringly hot as well. Ahem.

Here’s a little heartfelt moment of how deep their love runs for each other and why they are meant to be together no matter what from Glee season 2, episode 15 “Sexy”:

Santana: I wanna be with you, but I’m afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school.

Brittany: But honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.

Santana: Yeah, I know, but I’m so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept that I love you. I love you and I don’t want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please.

Brittany: Of course, I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren’t for Artie.

Santana: Artie.

Brittany: I love him too. I don’t wanna to hurt him. That’s not right. I can’t break up with him.

Santana: Yes, you can. He’s just a stupid boy.

Brittany: But it wouldn’t be right, Santana. You have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up, and [if] I’m lucky enough and you’re still single…

Santana: Don’t.

Brittany: I am so yours. Proudly so.

So hot. Right?

They are each other’s best friend and they understand each other better than anyone else do. I love how they are always together, always holding hands, cuddling, glancing at each other with a knowing smile and showing little signs of affection with each other.

Brittany even told Santana that she loves her more than she has loved anyone else in the whole world. And she is a very supportive girlfriend who would always try to help Santana achieve her dreams in her naive, slightly airhead way.

Santana, on her part, would defend Brittany to the hilt whenever anyone tried to criticise or bully her. She also turns gentle whenever they are together. Santana told Brittany that in her sophomore year she would sit at the back of the choir room and secretly watch Brittany. She would count the number of times Brittany smiled at her and died at the days she didn’t. How sweet huh?

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Brittany: Someday, I’m gonna marry Santana.
Santana: *smiles*

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They look so sweet together—a perfect combination of sexy, wild and cute at the same time. And I love how their friends are so supportive of them.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pGVTrtGgAmU&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpGVTrtGgAmU

I especially love the part when Brittany pulled Santana’s arm out of her jacket, just so she could hold her hand. It just seems so natural and genuine. Swoons.

How incredibly hot if they were to be together IRL?! I might just faint.

Here’s a compilation YouTube video of their best moments together:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UERsZImECTk&feature=fvwrel

Here’s an even better compilation video of the trials and tribulations Santana and Brittany had to go through to be better: http://youtu.be/tSEr4ch4Pi0

Wow, okay, I have to stop now, before my crush for Brittana/Santittany turns obsessive. Then again, there will always be more obsessive fans than me on the Internet. So I’m safe. Hahaha!

Image credits: Santana and Brittany celebrate Valentine’s Day, Santana and Brittany making out and Santana and Brittany share a kiss.

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Goodbye, Google Reader

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And just like that, Google Reader was gone. I kept refreshing the page throughout 1-2 July, hoping that Google will change its mind and let its Reader carry on its unobtrusive existence in the vast world of Internet apps and software. No such luck, as google conveniently marked all my feeds as gone on the afternoon of 2 July. Thankfully, I had gone to the Takeout page earlier to download an archive of my feeds.

After five years of using Google Reader, I’m not sure how fast I can wean myself off or even forget the easy accessibility and simple functionality of this amazing app. In short, I’m still depressed.

I’ve downloaded Flipboard as a replacement… It’s pretty for sure—very visually appealing, especially if most of your feeds are predominantly images. And it has a wide range of selected (pre-curated as many people are so fond of saying now) websites, which are pretty awesome. Except, well, there will always be an “except”, this means everyone who uses Flipboard will tend to read the same stuff as you, know about the same things as you do and be influenced by the same opinions as you have. Also, it’s not great when I’m taking the train and it goes underground, the reception goes to shit and I can’t update any pages properly—it takes too long for images to load. Sense my frustration already?

I’m also trying out Feedly now, but I am still miffed that something’s lacking. For one, I can’t search for an article I read or saved on Feedly itself. The functionality of its search engine is only applicable for websites I want to subscribe to. I have to manually retrieve any article I want by browsing through all the websites or pages I had marked all as read in order to find that article again. Previously on Google Reader, I could search for any topic I fancy in the search bar and it was no hassle. And whenever I have to click on a link, it loads inside Feedly instead of taking me to the Chrome browser. SIGH.

I’ve downloaded Reeder yesterday. I have yet to try it, but I sure hope there’s some positives out of it. I mean, how can it disappoint me further than I already am. I just want to browse my favourite, regular feeds or add new websites to read without hassle and search for any topics I remember reading about previously with ease. Is that too much too ask for? Evidently, yes.

This article from TechCrunch depicts my sentiment accurately, right down to my very angst and sense of loss.

The rest of the world may “merely surf the web” for any info they want, or look at their tweets or Facebook for the latest news, but I actually prefer to get my news or info from reliable, trusted sources I had carefully curated personally. Looking at my Google Reader in the morning when I wake up, at night before I sleep and whenever I have some free time had become my thing—my solace from the hustle and bustle of the Internet where everyone wants to dictate what you know and how you know it. Google Reader helps me cut out all the distracting white noise and allow me to look at the essentials. Even the writer of this TechCrunch article agrees.

But Google Reader was special because it was one of the last remaining places on the Internet you could really call your own. In every other way, the nature of news reading on the web these days and the social services that now dominate your attention are crafted by others who dictate what you will read and when. Whether browsing through an editorially run news site, parsing your Twitter stream or reading your Facebook news feed, the links before you are those that others have deemed important.
There’s value in this signal, of course — a sense of what’s trending in the larger world allows for serendipitous discovery. But it’s also a relinquishing of control. Oh sure, you can choose who to follow, but it’s not the same as choosing which news sources’ feeds you will subscribe to, why, and how often you will read them.
In Google Reader, I’ve gleefully stuffed websites into collections like “B-List” and “C-List” and “Can’t Miss” and “Panic Button,” instead of more proper names like “top tech sites” or “Apple bloggers.” It’s my decision which headline collections get scanned with a glance, and which writers will see me devouring their every word.
Meanwhile on Twitter, every missive is as important as the one that preceded it. A photo of your cat. News from the war. A beautiful sunset on Instagram. A government overthrown. It’s a real-time firehose of information that you dip into as you can. There’s no unread count. You just refresh and refresh and refresh for more.

Ever since Google’s announcement this spring, many new services have stepped up to help fill the void Google Reader leaves behind, but none will ever fill its shoes. None of those that now vie to become the new incumbent even have search built-in, for example. A few promise “yeah, it’s coming” but too many startups begging for a second look think that merely supporting RSS feeds makes them a Google Reader clone.
Google Reader wasn’t a list of things to read. It wasn’t a collection of RSS feeds.
It was your own, personal Google. A search engine built on top of the sites you cared about. A Google News with the stories you wanted to see. A taxonomy where you chose the labels, and drove the SEO. Google Reader was your web, your slice of the Internet.
Social media, now, is theirs.
Reader’s death isn’t the end of a product, it’s the end of an era. We have protested, bargained, begged, and cried. Now we have to accept and adapt.

Google Reader, thank you for giving me five great years. Goodbye.

P/S: Fifteen days later, I’m still gutted.