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Top ten birthday and holiday gifts for me

So it’s been a while since I dusted the cobwebs off here. In my defence, I was busy having a life, hence the blog hiatus. Which technically is the truth since I haven’t been home at regular hours ever since I signed up for gym classes last month. Yes. I hear you gasp and your thought bubble went something like “Gym + Me = never happening / (or if you’re American) NO WAY.” I know.

Well, if it makes you feel better, my appetite has grown exponentially with the number of times I head down to the gym. Increased appetite = Weight gain by a hell lot. I swear all weighing machines lie. Anyway, there are classes for yoga, pilates, steps, taichi and body combat (which I love oh-so-dearly because the instructor makes you yelp “Hoi hoi hoi” as if you are indeed a mean killing machine. Which I am obviously), and of course, the lovely treadmill. How anyone could bear to run on it for 20 minutes staring at essentially nothing in front of them twists my head in. Until I tried it for myself. And I realised staring at the little stat box which shows how much calories you are burning with every step you take is rather hypnotic. Huff huff huff. One calorie burned. Huff huff huff. Two calories burned and you get the drift.

Oh and my birthday is coming around in 10 days’ time. While I have yet felt the rush of excitement and that tingling sensation ever since I was a child, I kinda like thinking about what others can possibly get for me. Even if they don’t read this. Ha.

I’m a hybrid of geekiness, gadgets, practicality and cleanliness freak with a dash of retro chic so for those of you who’d like to marry or be with someone like me someday, start taking notes.

1) The entire Discworld series by my number one favourite author of all time Terry Pratchett.

My ideal bookshelf

2) Otherwise, the latest book by him would do just nicely – Unseen Academicals.

3) Sennheiser CX300 In-Ear Earphones (black) or SE210 Sound Isolating Earphones (black)

4) Handheld / travel clothes steamer (because my wrinkly shirts are crying for help and I hate ironing)

5) Handheld vacuum cleaner

6) Mini espresso machine

7) A desk fan which is compact yet powerful and chic. Obviously.

8) A Nalgene water bottle and if possible, a tee shirt for it.

9) a portable DVD player so I can finally watch my shows on the flatscreen TV

10) Two DVDs – Say Anything (because I’m a sappy love fool at heart) and High Fidelity (because it really channels my inner geek and because I really heart John Cusack and the earlier stuff he has done pre-2001)

That said, I realise Internet is truly my best mate. Till then, have a lovely Sunday.

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There is an itch in my mind

There is an itch in my mind I can’t effing scratch and it’s annoying me! It’s times like this I honestly wish I could be less rational. Well, like really really selective times when the choices you make could be the difference between a potentially fun time and an itchy mind that can’t go to bed. Sigh. Who’d have thought practicality would be the death of me.

I have to stop thinking too much. Oh, I should probably ditch making mental pros and cons lists as well. But back to my main point, this itch. The cold shower earlier didn’t help. My mind keeps racing to and fro. Then I remembered this.

“As long as you have these wants, this habit of wanting something, especially wanting someone or something to make you happy. Paradoxically, this is a sure way to make yourself miserable,” says Mooji.

So technically speaking, my irrational desire is driving me crazy because I’m allowing it to itch like hell and all I want to do is scratch this itch.

“As long as you have a desire, you are being tormented by this desire. Why? Because you don’t get it, you are miserable. All your energy is waiting and trying to fulfil your desire.” says Mooji.

There, I have foretold this way before. I even gave a perfect analogy for those who are still scratching their heads over this blog post:

Suppose you have always wanted this person, you want her so bad that you think she would make you happy, so as long as you want her, a relationship with her, you are never really available for anything else. Every time, you are talking, it is just this want for her. Your mind is focused on satisfying your desire but there is no joy in wanting this person. You feel if you get her, you would be so happy but there is no happiness in this.

So what’s next? Remove the desire and the itch would stop. This should be easy. Ahem. But pray for me anyway. Thanks.

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Things I like more than I realise No2: Peaches

Juicy, tender and full of natural sweetness, I am talking about the fruit, not the raunchy singer whom I do sometimes enjoy when I am feeling the naughties. Right, back to the best edible gift Mother Nature has given us. The minute I bit into the chilled fruit, I felt like I was transported to a fluffly breezy world where I was drinking a nice long iced drink made out of 100% peaches.

So good, you have to eat it again

So good, you have to eat it again

Photo credits: Wikipedia

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Midweek beer is all sorts of aces

I am looking at making Midweek Beer a compulsory afterwork tradition. Honestly, if you are a corporate rat like I am, it’s a must to celebrate this midweek high. After all, it is an achievement of some sort to get through Monday and Tuesday unscatched.

Of course, go mental and have your ice cold Midweek Beer with crispy pork knuckle on the side. Absolutely brilliant.

Never has pig look so fine

Never has pig look so fine

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I need more Dirty Sexy Money!

I am serious. Having watched the season finale of this cancelled show means the cliff-hanging climax will be a very very lasting one for me. A network which create fantasies using tv as a medium for common folk should never be allowed to taunt people like that. Travesty. “HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?”

Where on earth am I supposed to get the required dose of this scandalous insane somewhat morally corrupt richest family in New York now?

And, you should be a DSM druggie too because the sextape scene below says so.

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Monday’s Constant Craving

[imagine a lovely basket of hot golden fries here]

I want french fries so bad. I am willing to trade babies for them.

All major potato wedges accepted here too.

Oh, how to tell if the recession is worsening No. 276 – companies are giving out calendars as corporate gifts instead of daily planners.

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Monday’s Jagabee Jingle

Jagabee awaits visit from me

Today, Imaginarator is feeling all sort of iffy whiffy what with the lack of three proper meals a day since 1993 when Kate Moss ushered in the waif look with a highly publicised nude ad campaign for Calvin Klein. Awestruck young Imaginarator has been trying to attain the perfect heroin chic look since then. That is until bloody effing Edward Cullen and his “impossibly beautiful” pale marble skin and dark purplish eye shadows came along. Harumph!

It’s ok! Imaginarator will turn to the comforting oily arms of fried chicken to sooth its permanently hungry since 1993 soul. Except the last fried chicken has been eaten by Imaginarator’s annoying brother or sister.

Poor Imaginarator is now fantasising about the rows of Jagabee, tucked safely behind the closed shutters of the supermarket. These Jagabee potato bits look like French Fries, feel like crispy French Fries and taste like French Fries. The Jagabee is everything Imaginarator wants in an alpha French Fry.

Of course, no shops are open now to satisfy this craving. Which means Imaginarator can wave bye bye to its precious sleep. And a grouchy Imaginarator out on the internets is not a pretty sight. You’ve been warned.

Feel free to leave your own Jagabee love or any other cravings in the comments below