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I’m not saying I hate you

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In fact, I’d even get the best seat in the house to watch you BURN. You get the drift…

My friend said I should just ditch idiots who make me unhappy, because life is too short to spend so much time being angry and miserable. Utter truth!

I had three conversations with three different people today and they all said the same things. The gist of our highly intelligent, wise and mature debate (well, it was more of me ranting non-stop while they listened and gave me advice) is that we don’t need unnecessary drama in our lives.

If people choose to be selfish and childish, then there is absolutely no reason why we should indulge them further. We should let them go and cut them loose forever to allow ourselves to grow and be better than them. We shouldn’t even stoop to their level because we are way above them and they are simply basic bitches that deserve the worse things in life.

Plus, I had been stewing in anger for the past six hours, while those idiots were probably enjoying their lives and ignoring my existence. See, how unfair this is? Because of my foolish anger, I let my productivity slide when I could have done so many things during those lost hours. This is why harbouring anger never pays off.

Today’s event also teaches me a lesson. It is that I can be very vindictive and behave very rashly whenever I get angry. I let my emotions take over and become very unreasonable. This is extremely unhealthy and I’ll most likely get a brain aneurism if I continue to let unhappy thoughts flood my mind. So I need to chill the fuck out and let things go already!

Conclusion: I need to change my mindset and behaviour towards people who do not deserve my respect, because my health deserves my utmost attention and I, more than anyone else, deserve to be happy!

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A golden kiwi a day

I’m always amused when I see a gold kiwifruit. It is shaped like a tear drop, with a protruding neck—which reminds me of a headless kiwi bird—and smooth hairless body, which is totally unlike the green kiwifruit.

According to a New Zealand kiwifruit producer Zespri (the brand of the kiwis that I’m currently eating now), the biggest difference between the green and gold kiwi is taste. “While green kiwifruit has a tangier, more tart flavor, gold kiwifruit is mellow and tropical, a mixture of mango, melon and citrus flavours.”

Well, golden kiwifruits are just fabulous for our health. Based on this long article which I’ve read so you don’t have to, here are a few key points why we should all eat more golden kiwis instead of apples from now on.

According to a 2011 study published in the journal Biological and Pharmaceutical Bulletin, a Japanese research team examined seven fruits that are known to have high antioxidant content: gold kiwis, green kiwis, navel oranges, mandarin oranges, white grapefruits, ruby grapefruits and apples.

The team wanted to know which fruit had the highest concentration of polyphenols (powerful antioxidants that offset the effects of molecules known as free radicals), which were most effective in reducing lipid oxidation (the process whereby fatty acids are turned into free radicals that damage cells), and which were most effective in eliminating free-ranging hydrogen peroxide (another type of free radical produced as a byproduct of the body’s process to create and use energy at the cellular level).

By reducing the amount of oxidised lipids and the number of other free radicals in blood serum, physicians believe people can significantly reduce their risk of heart disease. A common way to reduce free radicals and oxidised lipids is to consume more antioxidant-rich food such as the aforementioned fruits.

Suffice to say, golden kiwis kicked every fruit’s asses, particularly apple’s.

The researchers found that gold kiwi’s polyphenols content was approximately 1.04mg per ml, green kiwi was second with 0.85mg/ml, navel oranges were third at 0.80mg/ml, while apples were last at 0.13 mg/ml.

As for the antioxidant properties of these polyphenols, the researchers found that both gold kiwi and navel orange inhibited oxidation of 60% of the lipids, with apples again last at 23%.

To further evaluate the antioxidant properties of the fruits, the researchers measured the amount of hydrogen peroxide eliminated by the fruit juices. Guess what? Gold kiwi significantly outperformed the other fruits by eliminating over 60% of the hydrogen peroxide. No other fruit achieved greater than 30% elimination, and apples were last at less than 10%.

The scientific team said: “All these indicators showed the highest activity for gold kiwi, demonstrating that gold kiwi has strong antioxidant effects. Overall, green kiwi had lower antioxidant effects than gold kiwi, but had stronger effects than the other fruits.”

So, if you’d like to add a tasty fruit to your daily diet, try the golden kiwi. It’s more expensive than the regular green ones, sure, but it’s worth all the health benefits and yummy sweetness you’d be getting. I like scooping the tender flesh with a teaspoon after chilling it for a while. Simply delightful.

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Three years ago today

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Three years ago today was a wonderful night for me, because she said yes to be with me. I didn’t know then that was the start of a beautiful memory and a journey of subsequent pain with no destination in sight. I was so happy that night I could barely sleep, even though I had to wake up early for work the next day. I think it was around this time 1:15am in the wee hours of the night/morning, when she replied me on Whatsapp. You can read all about my romantically prosed happiness here. She used to tell me that I made her so happy that her life was full of rainbows, babies and laughter (you know, things that make you smile when you see them).

And with that in mind, I’m going on a (selective) social media diet. I’m cutting off all contact with Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and reduce my use of Whatsapp. I saw some upsetting updates from her a few days ago and I’m still recovering from the anguish.

It’s weird, huh? Everything is so accessible these days, especially if you have a good smartphone and high-speed 3G or wifi access. You can do almost anything (or nothing productive, depending on your perspective) on your mobile device. And I got this reminder from my meditation app today:

When you find yourself resisting something or someone, rather than look for a distraction, examine the resistance. There’s something valuable to be found. —Headspace

I thought it was rather apt for what I was going through. I was trying to resist both something AND someone. So it is with regret delight that I’m formally denouncing my absence from the above social media networks. I’ll probably log on in a few months’ time when my emotional health is restored to nearly 90% or I’ve become a drone.

I’ll still blog here and use my Weibo and WeChat, because those are the only things left that I feel comfortable with, since I won’t get to see updates that would still affect me. Maybe when I have finally regenerated my mana from the fountain of lightness… I will be okay reading about your life again.

Meanwhile during my virtual exile, I will continue practising mindfulness in my daily life. Meditating has been a good mental cushion for me.. I feel like most of the pain that I ought to be feeling has been dramatically blocked. The sensation is almost like how you’d feel when your ears are blocked and you can’t hear half the things being said to you. A force field for the mind? Hmm, well that’s the best metaphor you’re gonna get from me at 1:25am. Bite me!

P/S: I lied. I remember the time. It was 1:37am — the exact moment she replied me — the same time this blog post is published. I’m a fool for romance, isn’t it?

Photo credit: Molly Hahn via HuffingtonPost.com

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Chest pains

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I’m lying alone (at 2.20am) with my head on the phone… Thinking of you till it hurts. No, really, my chest really hurts.

It started at around 9.30am today when I sneezed and I gasped because a sharp pain hit my chest. Before I could figure out what went wrong, I continued sneezing a few more times and I felt the same sharp jab on the middle-right side of my chest after every ‘ahhh choo’.

Soon I had difficulties breathing. And I couldn’t stand straight without my chest aching. My breaths become more shallow and the pain spread out to cover a larger area of my chest. It hurt so much that all I could think was: ‘I’m too young (relatively) to have a heart attack!’

Then an hour later when I didn’t collapse, all I could think was: ‘I’m too young to have acute chest pains!’

Every time I coughed or sneezed today was agony because my chest would flinched inwardly from the sudden flush of pain. So I tried breathing deeply and refrained from exerting too force or strength when doing anything. I still can’t sit or stand straight. I am thinking maybe I slouched too much and my posture the past four days was terrible, so it culminated to the chest pains today. You reckon so?

Then I googled this WebMD site, which quite accurately described my symptoms (see pic above). Which also means my condition appears to be more serious than I thought. Omfg!

It’s more than 17 hours since my chest had hurt and the pain is still here. I can’t stretch or turn my body as it’d hurt.

My verdict? I think I watched too much House MD TV series recently and I’m scaring myself over nothing. Well, if the pain doesn’t go off by next Thursday, then I’d go visit a doctor for some professional advice.

Till then, wish me luck that I remain healthy to celebrate me turning 30.