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The Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Golden Globe show 2014

This year’s Golden Globes’ opening monologue by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had me in stitches for nine whole minutes. They were so witty that my face was so scrunched up from laughing so hard. And now my right eye hurts. But it’s so good to laugh out loud for so long. Remember my last post on why laughing is good for you? 😀

If you thought Tina and Amy were hilarious last year (which I reviewed on this blog), you need to watch how they topped that performance with this year’s epic opening act. They are simply two of the funniest and seriously intelligent women in Hollywood right now. I can’t wait to watch the full show just to see what other hilarious antics Fey and Poehler got up to.

Here are some of my favourite one-liners from the dynamic comedic duo (Telegraph UK):

Tina: “The Wolf of Wall Street shocked viewers by using the F-word 506 times in three hours. Which is the new record. Unless you count my dad trying to hang some curtains rods in our living room.”

Tina: “Amy Poehler is nominated for her work on Parks and Recreation.”
Amy: “I believe Amy is here tonight. Can we get a shot of her?”
[Camera pans to Jennifer Lawrence with Amy Poehler’s name at the bottom of the screen]
Tina: “She looks fantastic!”
Amy: “She looks amazing! Wow, radiant! It is hard to believe she’s a 42-year-old mother of two!”

Tina: “Meryl Streep is so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.”

The one about Meryl Streep is hilarious because few weeks ago Streep made an acceptance speech at Napalms Film Festival about how she’s grateful for the great roles she has received even though she’s over 60 years old and that there’s still opportunities for older women in Hollywood.

And this one below is my personal top favourite. Fey delivered it with enough deadpan aplomb. And the camera immediately panned to Sandra Bullock (George Clooney’s co-star in Gravity) who was laughing so hard she was slapping her knee. Priceless.

Tina: “Gravity is nominated for Best Film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

Tina:”Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds. Or what actresses call being in a movie.”

Amy: “One of the most nominated films this year is 12 Years a Slave. I loved 12 Years a Slave and I can honestly say that after seeing that film, I will never look at slavery the same way again.”
Tina: “Wait, how were you—”
Amy: “And what a year for television!”

Amy: “Before earning a Golden Globe nomination for his first ever actinrole in Captain Phillips, Barkhad Abdi was working as a limousine driver in Minnesota. There’s such a beautiful life lesson here, everyone: Sleep with your limo driver tonight. Before he gets famous.”

Amy: “A lot of nominated shows this year are actually on Netflix. House of Cards. Orange Is the New Black. Enjoy it while it lasts, Netflix. Because you’re not going to be feeling so smug in a couple of years when SnapChat is up here accepting Best Drama.”

What a great way to chase away those Monday blues. Seriously, go click on the link above already.

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LOL every day to keep all illnesses away

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Photo credit: Distractify.com

The 28 Most Flawless Responses To A Wrong Number Text…LOL! (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/24-flawless-responses-to-wrong-number-texts/)

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Photo credit: Distractify.com

The 35 Naughtiest Dogs On The Planet. You’ll Laugh So Hard When You See What They Did! (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/dogs-who-are-shamelessly-proud-of-what-they-just-did/)

Above are some of the funniest photos I’ve read in December 2013 and they are still funny in 2014. Both webpages are still open as tabs on my FireFox page. I can’t bear to close them just yet, because I still laugh whenever I read them again. And I’d laugh so hard that my stomach aches and my eyes tear. And since I’m a generous person, I am sharing them with you today, because I want you to laugh as heartily as I did. Haven’t you heard? Laughing really hard is equivalent to doing crunches and it’s more fun too. Fun and beneficial for health; what more can a rather lazy person ask for?

From the Telegraph UK (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7635143/Laughter-really-is-the-best-medicine-as-doctors-find-it-can-be-as-healthy-as-exercise.html):

“… the high you get from a giggling fit was similar to the endorphin rush from exercise. … it can reduce your risk of a heart attack and diabetes and generally regulate the body’s vital functions.”

From the Discovery channel (http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/10-reasons-why-laughing-good-for-you.htm):

“… laughter improves blood flow, suppresses stress hormones and gives you a burst of exercise. … laughter has been shown to increase levels of salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA), an important antibody that fights bacteria and infections, especially those in the respiratory system.”

Enjoy and spread the laughter!

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Keep calm and be duh like Patrick

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I LOLed the second I saw this picture. I’ve never been a fan of the “Keep calm and …” phrase after it had been overused in the past 2-3 years, but this particular one is so hilarious.

You have to piece the entire phrase in your head, you see, and I came up with “Keep calm and be duh”. And I imagine Patrick Star saying it in his low duh voice. And then I laughed at my own wit. Maybe because Patrick Star reminds me of myself. Duh! Whatsapp shy face. HAHAHA!

Happy midweek, y’all!

Also, you shouldn’t be with him. You should be with me. Yes, really, because things between us don’t just happen, y’know. Or at least not to me. Really.

In movies, TV shows and fairytales, the girl would run over and kiss me after hearing that. If only.

P/S: I found this really great website with all the transcribed scripts for all 10 seasons of everyone’s favourite TV comedy Friends, so if you ever want to, I don’t know, have a laugh, feel free to click on it.

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It’s my 30th birthday

Happy 30th BirthdayBe nice.

Today’s the day I turn 30. And I am a little nonchalant about the 30 years I have taken to get here. It should be an impressive milestone celebrated with the family, close friends and perhaps a life partner, but all I feel is ‘meh’. While in my teens, I’ve always thought I’d die young.You know, because I’d be living the fast and dangerous rebel’s life.

But the minute I hit 25, my perspective changed to ‘I want to live for as long as possible and to do great things in my life’. So far, I have accomplished the ‘live as long as possible’ bit, but sadly I’m still far away from the ‘do great things’ part and was getting depressed over it.

So what did I do? I Googled about ‘turning 30’. And my best friend did not let me down. In 0.43 seconds, it showed me 234,000,000 results on why turning 30 may not be that bad after all.

Julie Tilsner, who wrote about the subject in her book 29 and Counting, said:

‘Thirty is nothing to be afraid of. You’ve got a whole new decade to work with, and this time you’re prepared! You’re educated, you have years in the workplace, you finally know what your hair will and won’t do. You can still dance on tables, but you have some life experience. Turning 30 is actually a really awesome thing.’

All sounds very positive. So there’s absolutely nothing to feel gloomy or to freak out about.

30 Is Different for Everyone

When I was younger, I’d dream about being an astronaut, or a pilot (much like Tom Cruise from Top Gun. Still a brilliant film and a handsome guy, no matter what anyone says!) or Indiana Jones. Whether I become a lawyer or a doctor, I’d be cool, charismatic and carefree like the heroes I aspire to be.

Then I hit the teenage years and things started going downhill from there. I got mixed up in the wrong crowds, I played truant from school, I ran away from home, I gave up a promising sports career in the national team and I dropped out of school. All before I turned 16. In short, I got distracted from obtaining a good education that would supposedly set me on my path to greatness.

Two years later, I woke up metaphorically from my ‘going-nowhere-in-life’ slumber. I also had my first major heartbreak from a relationship I thought would last forever. I nearly killed myself because of one person, until my mum came home just in time to stop me. How silly, right? I felt stuck working in a restaurant. There is nothing with earning a decent living as a service staff, but it just didn’t feel like I was in the right job, doing the right thing I like. That got me thinking about my life, my future and myself.

I picked up the pieces, bit by bit. I changed to a permanent part-time job at a pub and I signed up for part-time classes to get the necessary certifications to get to the art school I wanted. I even went back to my former secondary school to seek help from my art teacher to improve my portfolio. That was how determined I was.

At age 20, I finally got into the art school I was aiming for. I was taking my car and motorbike licences. I had a relatively cushy part-time job. I met someone new to get over the heartbreak I had been nursing for the past two years. I was popular in school, just like in secondary school. So I was still cool, charismatic and carefree. I was delighted with life.

In the year that I was due to turn 21, I met someone who would prove to be a great love of my life. We spent all our waking hours together and we were inseparable and everyone was envious of us and what we had. There were rough moments. I had the nastiest temper and I was immature. And yet we were together for the next five years, most of which were good and we stuck together through the ups and all obstacles that objected to our relationship. We had a fiery relationship and sparks flew all the time. But it was tough to keep the spark between us alive, and ultimately, it was to burn out like a flame. I had to let go.

In my 25th year on earth, I found a job I enjoyed and something I can proudly proclaim to be relatively good at and skills that have enabled me to earn a decent living. I was a journalist. I’ve always wanted to write for a living and I did. I also met someone I thought I could fall in love with and start afresh in my love life. Well, it started afresh alright, but it wasn’t meant to last because I was still in love with the great love of my life. I couldn’t let go and it took a toll on me. I had volatile mood swings and my behaviour was dodgy. I would have dumped my sorry ass too, now that I am looking back. We spent close to a year together, but the relationship ended and gave me the second major heartbreak of my relatively young life. It took me a year to get over it and dust the debris away. One of the reasons I created this blog was to write about the pain I had inside me. I was broken for a long time, but while learning to deal with the pain, I learned many things about myself and I made some new lasting friendships that helped me through the turmoil I was in.

Soon the year I was turning 28 arrived. And I met someone whom I wanted to give my whole life to make her happy all the time. More than half of the posts published (and set as private) on this blog have been dedicated to her. I have never filled up so much virtual space about someone before. I have no idea if I would ever do (or feel) the same for anyone else again.

Now That I Am Finally 30
Now that I am turning 30, the past no longer seems like a chink on my armour. I get that I may not be as talented, as popular, as good-looking, as famous, as wealthy as other people my age, but it’s okay. I am still special in my own way; I am a little unique snowflake that will just be doing adult-like things in my own time. I may not be a best-selling author or a successful CEO yet, but I am still a success in my own way.

Should I have spent my teens studying hard and get Bs so I could have gotten into a good college? Should I have not spent all my hours on going to dance clubs and drink myself silly? On hindsight, maybe I should have. Should I have done better in art school instead of watching TV and playing Warcraft with my friends and indulging in Football Manager on most of my days? Maybe. But I didn’t, because I have not touched Warcraft or Football Manager since 2005 and I do not regret getting the most joy out of those games, even though I know I was wasting my time.

Yes, there are people who have made millions before they are 25, earn $10,000 a month by 27 or be famous and successful entrepreneurs before turning 30. Maybe I am an exception. Maybe I am on a different timeline from the rest and there is no happiness to be gained if I keep comparing myself with others. Life is not a race. Life is what you make of it and how happy and satisfied you deem yourself to be, not to spend your hours being envious of others.

Our whole idea about life before or after 30 should not be defined by the progress we are supposed to make or terms dictated by society. It doesn’t mean if we don’t realise our potential by 30, we are never going to succeed; there may be pieces of us that take years to gel and make us the successful person we will become.

According to Heidi Grant Halvorson, author of Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals, we should live our whole life as if we’re in our twenties. ‘It’s that keep-inching-forward mentality that will allow you to be happy with your choices.’

Yes, I admit I am a little sad at the things I have not accomplished or the stuff I thought I would have achieved by now like being an extremely successful high-flyer, having my own apartment, being with the love of my life and travelling around the world. Maybe I am too old to be an astronaut now. Maybe this is the wrong era to be Indiana Jones. Maybe there were many decisions I could have made to get to a different place from where I am now.

But, have I failed at life? I went from a school dropout to studying part-time for a business degree now (very much like Larry Crowne but without the hot lecturer. Nice movie anyway. Go watch it!). I went from a junior service staff to having a relatively okay-paying mid-level media job I enjoy. I have my health (until the results confirm otherwise) and my parents who love me more than I can ever imagine. I am much more confident now and wiser than in my 20s. I am also more than okay to spend time alone and to enjoy my own companionship. I also value myself more. I imagine life can only go up from here.

I am not sure if I will like the idea of turning 30 at all, but now that I am already here, I might as well enjoy it while it last. After all, there’s still the looming 31 to dread over.

So, I will enjoy the year ahead with as much vigour as a unique little snowflake should, because I am 30 and to hell with the rest of you, I’m gonna celebrate by pampering myself the whole of today.

Because today is my day, and no one can be Me-er than Me. 🙂

And stay tuned for the 30 life lessons I’ve learned from my 30 years.

[Image via Sommecards]

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Being socially awkward is my specialty

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(I wrote this blog post on 21 September 2011 and decided to add the fourth paragraph and publish it today because I finally found the right pic for it. Haha… Ha! Yes, I even laugh awkwardly.)

I have been told quite frequently that I am socially awkward. That I can somehow appear uncomfortable in almost any situation.

I am so awkward with myself that some people actually laugh at me because they find it amusing to see me uncomfortable. Maybe they find me endearing. I don’t know.

Someone once told me: “You’re just naturally awkward.”

And she always says I have a sheepish look, just like my dog form, who always look sheepish no matter he does. And she would always give me an incredulous ‘Tsk tsk, why like that, huh?’ expression after that. At which point, I would look down at my feet and grin sheepishly, wondering why too.

Maybe being awkward is really my true talent in life?

I should have a reality TV show to track all my awkward behaviours. It’d be terrible but hey, if people can find the Kardashians interesting, surely my awkwardness can find a niche audience somewhere. Plus, I have been told by many I have excellent fashion sense. So I can be an awkward eye candy?

Maybe some of you would be thinking how and why I would describe myself as awkward. The truth is I don’t really know. I just am.

I can wear the best-looking suit and most dashing shoes to work and still look out of place at a posh event. Presentable, but inept at being a fluttering eloquent social butterfly.

Maybe I am too self-conscious because I think I have a horrible thick boorish accent. I sometimes feel that I speak as though I hail from a rural land where English is the third language. It gets worse when I have to address a crowd of corporate people, I feel even more like a country bumpkin in an ill-fitted suit. But with really, really good hair and a winsome smile. Weird, I know.

I also dislike air kisses. A naturally awkward person should never attempt to air kiss under any circumstances. True story.

Which side of the cheek should one aim at first? The left or the right? What if both people decide to air kiss at the same direction at the same time? Awkward…

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Sunday secrets I relate to

One of the things I enjoy doing on Sunday (or early Monday morning like 1am) is visiting the PostSecret website and looking through the secrets chosen for the week.

This has been my weekly routine ever since I met her and realise that she loves PostSecret too. Maybe it’s because I tried sending a secret in for her too (via a very expensive express post) and it didn’t get picked. Bummer. So I’m secretly hoping it will appear one day?

Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I get a little sad, and sometimes I can relate to them… Like the secrets posted on 26 August 2012… There were two that immediately stood out for me tonight.

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Hahaha, I remember the times when we Skyped and all we could keep looking at was ourselves on screen and admiring how we looked. I miss those times when we Skyped all the time, have our meals together, go to bed together, share our day together, watch TV together, check out each other’s outfit for the day. I miss how you’d Skype me the minute you reach your hotel room. I’d be at work in the mornings and you’d be disturbing me, trying to make me laugh out loud. And I’d spend my lunch hour talking to you until you got changed and ready to nap after your long flight. Or I’d rush home after work so I could talk to you when you come back from shopping, have your dinner and go to bed. All those late nights and long conversations. Good times.

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Hahaha! This pic made me chuckle because I know how sensitive you are about your follicles. And how you’d always tell me I’m so lucky for being relatively hairless. And how I’d always tell you I’d accept you for who you are, even if you’re hairy (which you kinda are. LOL!) because…

The truth is I could spend all day looking at you and I’d be content.

Images via PostSecret.com

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Life will be all right

Ishika Mohan/20th Century Fox

I’ve wanted to watch The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel when the British film was still showing in cinemas around late June/early July. I remember reading reviews of it and thought: “This sounds like a heart-warming feel-good movie that should make us laugh and enjoy our two hours in the cinema.” Plus, I had watched Salmon Fishing in the Yemen before that and absolutely loved it. The Brit irony and sarcastic wit was hilarious.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel was nearly at the end of its run here though, which meant it had limited timings at certain cinemas only so finding the right person and the right day to watch it was critical. I remember asking someone if she wanted to watch it and the response I got was: “No, I don’t understand British accents.”

I was silent after that. It’s a movie. It has subtitles. Besides, you’re supposed to put your brain at the door and be entertained. How hard can it be to understand spoken English?

Anyway, we didn’t watch it together in the end. But I’m so glad I managed to finally watch the movie.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a 2012 British comedy-drama film that was based on the 2004 novel These Foolish Things by Deborah Moggach. The two-hour long film features an ensemble cast including Judi Dench, Bill Nighy and Maggie Smith among a group of British pensioners moving to a newly opened retirement resort in Jaipur, India. However, upon their arrival, the seven financially distressed and retired Brit men and women discover the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is far from the luxurious retreat “for the elderly and beautiful” that its advertising claims. Despite not meeting their expectations, most of them take it in stride and begin to flourish in their new-found adventure, letting the trip change their lives forever.

Each of them has a sad story that forces or influences them to head for India (read brief sketches of them here.) Most of them can’t afford the high living expenses needed to retire in England. They miss home and their children, but they can’t go back. It made me realise I should save more money and worry about building my retirement nest, instead of splurging on materialistic items that would probably not last long enough as heirlooms.

There are pleasant surprises. One of them was Graham Dashwood, a retired High Court judge, who grew up in Jaipur and is returning for the first time since his youth. Turns out he is a middle-aged gay man who’s “more in theory than in practice nowadays”. Graham hopes to reconnect with his Indian lover, whose family was disgraced when their affair was discovered. He has loved him his whole life, thinking that he had lost the love of his life forever and wanting to make up to him if he could ever find him again. And he does find a happy ending, but not what you’d expect.

This is a feel-good film whose optimism and sentimentality gives me hope that it’s never too late to leave my comfort zone and explore new horizons, as long as I’m willing to go with the flow.

Evelyn: Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.

Muriel: Most things don’t. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.

Evelyn: The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with the disappointment, as we all must.

Because in the end no matter what happens, whether it’s good or bad, life will still go on and you will be fine. Really.

Sonny: Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end.