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You look lovely tonight

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Photo credit: My iPhone

I accidentally caught this episode of Desperate Housewives on TV tonight, while flipping channels to see which shows would be a great noise filler during my online browsing activity. And wow, it blew my mind. I love it when a storyline takes a completely different turn and exceeds your expectations. I love it more when a really beautiful, sexy and extremely attractive woman with a husky voice says she digs chicks and that she’s a card-carrying lesbian. SO HOT!

Honestly, the entire scene was so hot I couldn’t stop chuckling. Watch the video, fast forward to the interesting bits and you’d feel what I feel. Immense glee and euphoria.

Robin: “You can always do what I did and explore other options … Cast a wider net, expand the pool; date chicks?”

That husky voice, that cheeky tilt of the head, that glint in her eyes, that knowing smile… All conspired to take my breath away. And that scene when she took off her robe and revealed a smoking hot body in lacy lingerie? And how she spilled maple syrup on her very well-filled bra? And how she scooped the syrup up with her finger and licked it off. Oh. So. Seductively. Woah. I came in my pants. Metaphorically. Blondes do seem to have all the fun. The silly infatuated look that Katherine had when watching Robin’s every move? I had the exact same expression when watching the scene. Repeatedly.

Robin: “I dated guys for a long time and I just never really felt a connection. And then I started stripping and I was surrounded by all these confident, sexy women. And I realised: ‘Robin, sweetie, you have been barking up the wrong tree.'”

Katherine: “Yeah… I think I got the right tree. Just sick of barking.”

Hahaha! What a great beginning to a burgeoning love story between two attractive women. I’ve stopped watching Desperate Housewives for a long time now, but this new story arc is threatening to draw my attention back to it. And this second video made me laugh and cry… It felt like a summary of stages and emotions I went through in my last relationship… Except this one had a happy ending and mine didn’t.

Robin: “I know how you touched me… And I saw the way you look in your eyes when I touched you. You may deny it now, but we connected. And it counted.”

P/S: Happy birthday to you. I watched the clock pause for the longest time at 11:59pm, wondering when it would finally strike 12. After what seemed like forever, the digits finally turn to 12:00AM and I realise I had been trying to run away from it the whole day. The more I tried to forget you, the more you’d appear in my mind. If it was up to me, I would have texted or even called you to wish you “happy birthday”, but I figured you would have all your best wishes and favourite people in the world celebrating with you by now.

Just like that Louis Koo movie you once cried while watching it, I don’t think I will ever forget your birthday, even when we are no longer speaking to one another. Don’t look so puzzled. You know why. So here’s to a second year of me secretly wishing you well on my blog.

Happy birthday, you. Oh, the places you will go.

Source: Wikipedia

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Cheer up, it’s only Monday

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Every time I see this picture, I go “Awwwwww” because I’m reminded of how Milo was when he first came into our lives. He looked exactly like this puppy in the picture with his really long slender body, big floppy ears and wagging tail. He was long, dark and deceptively handsome if you see him IRL. He’s not good-looking in a conventional way, but he has a certain innate charm that I think all puppies have. Must be those puppy eyes.

Every time Milo the puppy pounced on anyone of us joyfully, we’d get a dose of happiness, no matter what mood we were in. If there is one thing I wish I had done more of, it’d be to carry him in my arms more often and let him sleep with my parents or me from the beginning, instead of being left alone in a cage in a darkened living room. Should have never listened to those so-called pet-shop owners or dog trainers!

I also wish I had a better camera phone then. Then we’d have many clearer pictures of him, instead of the dark fuzzy ones that no one can decipher. Haha!

So, happy Monday to y’all. Remember, seeing pictures of adorable cats and dogs has been scientifically proven to brighten up your day and make you more productive. Go on, start browsing now.

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Life is good, sometimes I forget

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It’s true, you know. Sometimes I tend to forget how wonderful my life is, especially in times when I allow frustration or doubts to creep into my mind and fill me up with dissatisfaction. Then I think about at least three good things I have going on in my life at the present moment and I become thankful for my life all over again.

So three things I’m currently grateful for:

1) My dog Milo who is absolutely the cutest old man with the saddest eyes in the world. This look is not a combo that any dog or human bean can beat. The minute he cuddles up to me on the couch (after trying to bite me no less), my heart just melts. He’a a naturally independent dog, you see. Attention-seeking Milo may be, but he is content to sleep alone without anyone beside him most of the times. So yes, it feels like a bonus when he snuggles with me.

2) My cable TV which has all the channels available along with HD resolution, so I can watch any programme I want at anytime and any day of the week! If only “The Duggers Family” and “Kate + Eight” are still playing on Discovery Home and Living. But hey, having HBO and FX are pretty awesome already. If I ever had to have a TV channel to epitomise me, FX would be the one. It’s smart, witty, funny, quirky cool, stylish and has the best collection of songs. So me. Haha!

3) My literacy, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to appreciate excellent TV shows with topnotch writing such as “Scandal”, “Games of Thrones”, “Mad Men”, “Archer”, “Two Broke Girls”and “Californication”, just to name a few. Without my literacy, I wouldn’t be able to laugh at enjoyable reads such as Mindy Kaling’s “Is everyone hanging out without me?” and Rick Riordan’s “The Heroes of Olympus” and “The Kane Chronicles”. Eh, I said enjoyable, not Pulitzer-winning reading material.

Enjoy your week, every birdie! And if you’re so inclined, do share your list of three things you’re thankful for today. The universe will love you for it. Remember, life is good.

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Love when you’re ready

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Are you a fan of one of my favourite shows this season? Well, you should be. If not, you better start watching Californication soon, because it fucking blows your mind. Quite literally at times, with the amount of swear words, drugs, sex, roll and rock and decadence and debauchery the producers can provide in an 30-minute episode.

I love this particular season finale Season 6, episode 12 of Californication: “I’ll Lay My Monster Down”. It was a mixed bag of emotions—some warm, sweet and lovely, some heartbreaking and forlorn because of unrequited feelings and unresolved issues.

Atticus Fetch: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can’t have her. How do you even get up in the morning?

Hank Moody: Well, the booze is always helpful, and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I’m with her, even when I’m not.

Breaks your heart, doesn’t it?

This scene reminded me of the times the numerous blogposts I wrote and have unknowingly dedicated to this particular someone I fell in love with the past three years.

Maybe we are not meant to be together in this lifetime, but it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped thinking about her or wondering what might have been. I’ve just managed to block her out of my mind for the time being, but I know that the second I allow the dams to burst, everything will come rushing out. So I keep all my thoughts hidden under a sea of calm, hoping that my memory will soon be erased (wishful thinking, I know, but you’d be amazed how time can dilute your memory). Maybe after a while, I wouldn’t even remember that this person once existed in my life.

I guess this is why I feel like I’m in a daze sometimes—lost and adrift in the middle of the sea—trying to find an anchor (or an idyllic island paradise) in my life. Do I really want to love someone again? Am I ready to let someone into my life again? These are questions I have no answers to.

Maybe that’s why I thought the quote above is apt for today.

Love when you’re ready; not when you’re lonely.

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The value of a moment

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“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” —Dr Seuss

It’s true, you know. Until moments and events become the past, you will never realise how much they had affected or influenced you.

More frequently than ever, especially in the past two weeks, I’ve been mentally kicking myself for letting the love of my life go. She was amazing, gorgeous, intelligent, humorous, with good fashion sense, a perfect body and an ability to whip up amazing meals. She was truly one of a kind and yet I let her go, because I couldn’t see how much she meant to me then.

Ever since then (and I really believe this is a curse she laid upon me after breaking her heart that one last time), I have never been able to trust or love anyone wholeheartedly. While others have loved, lost and found new loves, I’ve been stuck in quicksand but someone had set my drowning in slow-mo. I feel like I’m doomed to repeat my mistakes in relationships. Over and over again. This is one unpleasant Groundhog Day I wish I can wake up from and kick it out of my memory.

Still, there’s this sinking feeling in my heart that I can’t get rid of. I think I’m getting better though. I can’t really say how or why, but my mind is less cluttered. I might not seem to be doing anything important in my life right now… But at least I can feel myself healing emotionally.

It’s consciously telling myself that I will move on, instead of giving myself a hard time about the mistakes I made or things I should have done. It’s learning that I have to forgive myself and let go. There is no point in putting myself in “mental prison” for the past.

Yes, there are days when it’s harder than usual to let go or not dwell over the past… But I keep moving forward, no matter how long or slow it takes me to make that one tiny step. Progress is subjective; commitment to letting go is visceral. Wow, never thought I was such a deep thinker, eh?

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Because I’m worth it

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So I’m still sad, but I’ve mostly numbed myself from reality or seeing/reading anything that could affect my emotions. Thinking about it hurts obviously, but I’ve learned to not resist and instead of finding distractions, I allow myself to view the pain from far. Then I’d observe the sadness as I would an art exhibition and let it go like releasing a balloon into the sky. It’s a conscious effort to will myself to not over-think and just let go, like what I have been saying in the past few blog posts.

I also realise I tend to blog on Sunday nights. Perhaps my mind becomes clearer after unwinding from the hectic workweek and my thoughts have been allowed to incubate.

Anyway, I read this article on The Guardian early last week when I was doing research for my work and thought “Wahey! I totally understand what this guy’s saying – economic terms and theories and all!”

It was a proud moment for me, because it proved that investing in myself to go for further studies had not been a complete waste of money and time. So yay. I deserve at least two pats.

Anyway, moving on to the article. It made me laugh. I was thoroughly amused by the author’s views and methods and, of course, the happy ending all good stories should have.

Here’s the premise: When one economist couldn’t get a girlfriend, he had an idea: restrict his supply, find a gap in the market and establish a monopoly.

Yes, the guy basically found love by using the principles of economics, which is bloody BRILLIANT. Don’t you think?

I realised that you can only play hard to get once the woman actually knows and likes you. This is because by then you have differentiated yourself from the other men on the market, so you gain more control over your market price. As you come to be seen as an individual with unique characteristics, rather than one of many men trying to get some attention in a club, the market structure changes from one of many competitors selling homogeneous goods to one of a handful of competitors. Playing hard to get is suited only to at least the second or third date, because only then is demand sufficiently inelastic for a woman to tolerate, or even be attracted by, a rise in price.

Being with Sarah cost me time, money and emotional investment. It also cost me the things that I couldn’t have because I was with her, such as nights out with my friends and the chance to meet other women. Those missed things are what are known, in economic terms, as opportunity costs. With these, we have to look at our spending decisions relative to what else is available to make sure we’re getting the best deal for ourselves.

If I’d thought more like an economist, I’d have known to disregard the time I had already spent queueing. That time had been and gone; it was a sunk cost. What I should have asked was, “What do I want to be doing right now?”

In short… Approach the problem (in this case, meeting the right person) rationally, target it with a few possible solutions, try, discard solution if it doesn’t work and try again until you achieve your goal. Simple… Right?

In conclusion, I’m gonna be a Rolex watch, baby!

P/S: If I ever fall in love again, I’m gonna love my other half using the Keynesian Multiplier approach.

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Thank you, Sir Alex Ferguson

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Sir Alex Ferguson applauds the fans. Photograph: Phil Noble/Reuters

There have been plenty of tributes to the great man on the Internet since last Wednesday and many of them have said what I felt in my heart about the best football manager in the world.

Seriously, there’s nothing more I can say, except that I cried really badly last night from the moment Fergie walked out of the tunnel towards the guard of honour his players had formed for him to the moment he began his final speech at Old Trafford. In fact, I welled up every time I read another tribute to Fergie. It’s that bad.

It was 1am and I was a blubbering mess, with tears welling up and sniffles in my nose. It felt equivalent to a heart broken by a failed relationship. I had been grieving a loss since last year, so yes, I am very familiar with the concept of a heartbreak.

I am Manchester United through and through. I have been a fan ever since I watched Eric Cantona with his popped collar volleyed the ball past the throngs of players to score the only goal against Liverpool in the 1996 FA Cup final. United won 1:0 and my football soul was pledged to the team ever since. The mesmerising moment can be found in the video below.

So yes, I have never known a world without Sir Alex as the manager of Manchester United. Because of SAF, I have known and lived the pride and joys (and pains) of being a red.

Standing on the pitch, Ferguson told the crowd: “I have absolutely no script in my mind. I’m just going to ramble on and hope I get to the core of what this football club has meant to me. Thank you to Manchester United, not just the directors, coaching staff, medical staff, the players, the fans, all of you – you have been the most fantastic experience of my life, so thank you. I’ve been very fortunate. I have been able to manage some of the greatest players in the country, let alone Manchester United.”

Thank you, SAF, for 27 years of glory, late comebacks, last-minute winners, the wins and even the defeats. You too have given me some of the best experiences and memories of Manchester United. Because of you, the impossible dream was made possible.