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Do something for your future self today

Always put yourself first.

Always put yourself first.

I thought this would be inspirational for everyone, since it’s Monday again — the start of another work week. Oh, the horrors. I haven’t been able to log into WordPress via the iPhone app, so some intelligent tech person has to sort that out pronto. It feels weird to be blogging on my laptop, since the last time I did that was months ago. That’s how useful the WordPress iPhone app has been, but I think the new iOS 7 is screwing some of its functionality. SORT IT OUT, WordPress.

So I spent the past two days trying to juggle several things at once, and have successfully not accomplished a single thing. This goes to show how bad I am at multitasking, but also how good I am at procrastinating. It really depends on which perspective you prefer to see. Ahem.

On the bright side, I have sort of formulated a long-term plan for my future. What’s next is to overcome my fears and hesitation in detailing the steps to achieve it and then, of course, carrying it out faithfully. But right now, I have six 1,200-word essays to finish by end-September and one 3,000-word coursework to complete by 7 October. Argh! I felt like I have wasted my whole weekend doing nothing of importance. All my 48 hours were not being utilised well, because I had to sleep, eat, shower, entertain friends and watch TV. Somehow, writing this blog post feels like more precious time is being taken up too. Sorry, my loyal readers, I was only being brutally honest. That’s why you love me! Ahem.

So, I am going to do something today that my future self will thank me for. Spend the next 40 35 minutes doing a quick draft of one essay before I watch the derby match between my beloved Manchester United and those City wannabes. And sleep by 1:30am, so my liver can be super productive and start detoxifying my body.

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

Photo credit: The sweet Internet

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Love actually

The beginning of two great days

I first wrote this post shortly after we came back and I updated subsequently several times on 2 and 17 January, 21 February, 4 April, 24 and 31 Dec last year as well as a few times this year. But finally on the fourth anniversary of starting this blog, I thought publishing this post would be rather apt. So here goes.

This pic was taken moments before the ferry set off to our next destination and 15 Dec 2010 was the beginning of two fucking great days.

I couldn’t sleep the night before excited and fearful of what was to come because the past few days had been a torment in more than one way. But really, we didn’t have to worry so much. Things picked up where we left off.

It started with home-made heart shaped pasta for breakfast. We were sitting there waiting for the ferry when she whipped out a tupperware box and said: “Breakfast!”

Now I love surprises a lot because it’s rare that I would be surprised since I would have figured it out beforehand or forced the information out of someone. And trust me, I was trying really hard, almost persistent, to get the info out from her the night before so this was a literally real treat.

The pasta had crab meat in slightly spicy tomato sauce and a little hard-boiled egg at the side. It was 8.55am and I can rave on and on about how delicious the pasta was and how I was grinning non-stop but I really hate to brag, Internet, because there is so much more to come.

We got up the ferry and started snapping photos of ourselves in our sunglasses. I tried to look suave and failed. If you ever saw me, you’d know I belong to the goofy genre, or as what she would always say, I have this general sheepish look all the time.

She was portraying a 60s look, although it could be the camera filter I was using that gave her that classic retro look. I thought she looked amazing. Then again, she always does and she knows how beautiful she is to me even if I would only say it silently in my heart.

Sleep was slightly hard to come by as we were distracted by Ice Age 3, playing on the big television screen. I couldn’t tell you much about the movie now, except it had mammoths and an irritating sloth which was trying to raise three T-Rexes. What I remember is it was nice holding hands, enjoying the cozy moments of her lying on my shoulder with my arm wrapped around her as the ferry gently churns its way across the sea.

When we arrived, we were almost immediately chauffeured to BYT where friendly staff, cold towels and a rather disgusting drink that was touted to be full of health benefits awaited us. After checking in, we were ushered to the spa room where we would be pampered, oiled, scrubbed and massaged for the next two hours. It was paradise on earth and if the world had ended then, I would have died the happiest person in the whole universe because I was with her.

We then retreated to our villa, where we chilled, rested, tumbled around, dined and napped in luxury. When we finally woke up, it was close to last order for dinner and we hurriedly got changed and headed down to a restaurant within BYT. The dinner was okay, because nothing could beat what happened back at our villa. We had champagne in a bucket, the jacuzzi turned on, some entertainment show playing on TV and a cheesecake that she made herself and had my initial on it. She also gave me what was probably a whole year’s supply of presents. I was so dumbfounded and touched and delighted that I couldn’t speak. Maybe she really loved me after all, in spite of what had happened in the past, I remember thinking. And I have never loved her more since then. The next few hours of our night were some of the best sleepless fun we ever had, and also censored from public viewing. Haha.

We woke up the next day to a splendid ocean view. In a half-awake stupor, I turned to look at her. And she looked at me and we smiled. I said: “I can wake up to this view every day. I can live like this forever.”

Because baby, you’re amazing just the way you are.

There’s this kind of love that sneaks up on you and softly taps you on your shoulder when you least expect it and hits you really hard. Every moment seems a little crazy and impossible at first — from the person you are with and how they make you feel to the new things you find yourself doing for them. You’re almost freaked out by the depth of love you feel growing within you and there are times you find your breath taken away or reach new levels of frustration. You might shrug your shoulders and say: ‘Maybe this won’t last at all, let’s just enjoy this for now and see where this takes us.’ But then one day, you realise you want this person more than anything else you have ever wanted in your entire life, because what both of you have is more than love. It’s proof that you fit together perfectly and that you are soulmates and how incredible lucky you are to have found each other out of seven billion people in the whole world. So yes, in spite of everything and even though how the passing of time is supposed to dilute our memories and feelings, I love you still.

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.” — Nicholas Sparks

Merry Christmas, everyone! 😀

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Why I love December

December picOther than the fact that it’s the month of my birthday and Christmas, I like December mainly because it feels like such a slack time. Even the weather appears to be taking a long vacation, with the unpredictability of horrible heavy rain, unbearably humid temperatures and limited sunshine. Hours at the office trickle by very slowly and the mood is sluggish because everyone is either away for their year-end holidays or have set their minds on a mental vacation. No one is really concentrating at work and is just fulfilling their minimal quota. Haha, at least that’s what I am doing. Does it apply to you too?

Everything feels so gloomy that there’s even a term for this month. It’s called ‘Decemberish’. But! I like spending December on WordPress, because I get to see snowflakes gently falling across my computer screen and it feels rather Zen and calming. And then I’d smile at how Christmas-sy pictures look on the blog posts.

I guess I like the date today too… 12 / 12 / 12. Repetitively seductive. Maybe I will publish this post or tweet at 12:12pm just because.

Anyway, the world will not be ending on 21 December, according to NASA, and the space organisation has kindly answered (in detailed explanations) many doomsday queries on its website. How nice of them!

But a more interesting outlook would be my tarot card reading for this month.

It is the second time this year that some letting go has to be done. A relationship is going to end. This can cause some distress, but there are also feelings of gratitude. Your feelings run deep, but you have difficulty expressing them. You feel vulnerable and emotional.

You are attracted to giving your time and energy to something outside of yourself. Clean out the garage or attic and donate the excess to charity.

There are changes in the work situation, such as a shift in personnel. In a strange turn of events, you may find yourself having to defend your actions and motivations. Your honesty may be questioned.

If you are single, you may meet someone later this month. If you are committed, you may feel you are involved in a roller-coaster kind of relationship. Not to worry, things calm down by the end of the month.

Obviously, I don’t know how true this prediction will be, but I feel poignant on the first point, sceptical on the second portion, puzzled at the third and intrigued with the fourth. Haha!

I sure hope things will calm down, because I feel very restless and unsure about so many things in my life right now. My mind is all over the place and I can’t seem to be at peace with myself. Not sure how long I can keep my ‘calm persona’ in public for… without breaking down. By the way, four more days to the big one!

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My heart is with you

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My heart is with you and I love you always, always, always.

Sometimes when the weather gets too chilly and my hands and legs are freezing cold, I wish you were in bed with me so we could snuggle under a thick blanket and I could spoon you and absorb some of your amazingly toasty body heat. Ha!

*Another gorgeous artwork from one of my favourite artists, Tracy Emin, whose work I previously blogged about here.

I’d like to have her artwork in my home someday, along with some Andy Warhol’s pieces. And some retro items I greatly admire ever since I saw them at a dinner party. And a long bookshelf to put all my books in. What about you? 🙂

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Ride off into the sunset with me

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You, me, riding off into the sunset together. How about it?

I’m going to love you so much that no one is ever going to be good enough for you. And I mean every word. And I’ve never been more serious my whole life.

Are you ready to ride off into the sunset with me?

I heard this song on TV and it was beautiful. It was from one of my favourite bands and the haunting melody for some reason made me think of you immediately.

You know how you can’t help it when sometimes you look at me and you realise that I am the best things that have ever happened in your life.

Because for you, I am perfect. HA!

P/S: By the way, according to my tarot card reading, November is an excellent time for business ventures, financial affairs and all things related to the material world. I should implement any changes I have been considering in my business affairs. I will also receive recognition for my past effort in the form of financial rewards, respect and possibly, promotion. Woooooo… hehe!

It will also be a good time to straighten out financial dealings I may have with friends or relatives as well, as this month is not a good time to go into debt.

Most importantly, November is a good time for love. Strong feelings and passionate exchanges on the emotional and physical levels make this an exciting month. Can’t wait! 🙂

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Tom Ford and Richard Buckley Forever

Tom Ford and the love of his life

I was researching the Internet for a marketing assignment I am doing when I came across this headline ‘Tom Ford is a father!’ and I immediately clicked on it. Obviously.

As it turns out, the feted fashion designer, 51, and his long-term partner Richard Buckley (pictured left, if you don’t know who Ford is), 64, has a new baby son recently. But that’s not the amazing part of the story. The most amazing part of it is that Ford has been in a relationship with Buckley for the past 25 years. That’s a relationship that is only slightly younger than me! How awesome is that?!

So I continued reading the article and it brought me to another link to where the original story was taken from: Out.com. And the recollections from Ford and Buckley on how they felt when they first saw each other, how they were both ready to settle down, fall in love, and how they are growing old together was so beautifully written that my eyes were moist by the time I finished reading it. I know, what’s up with my emotions the older I grow, right?! HAHA!

The couple met when Ford was just 25 (and a nobody then) and Buckley, the former editor-in-chief of Vogue Hommes International, was 38. And how their love began and continues to stay strong is a heart-warming story.

Tom Ford, designer:
You can look at someone and feel like you’ve known him forever. The first night I ever had drinks with Richard I felt I knew everything about him…

We first encountered each other at a fashion show in New York in 1986. He was confident and handsome in a way that made him almost unapproachable. His stare was so intense that it completely unnerved me, and when the show was over I literally bolted out the door and down the street to avoid him.

Ten days later, my employer, Cathy Hardwick, sent me to the office of Women’s Wear Daily to retrieve some clothes. I was directed to the roof where they were being photographed, and as the elevator opened, there was the man with the eyes the color of water…

He was adorable, and he was a complete fool. He was sort of dancing around, flashing his eyes at me, and trying so hard to be charming. I decided in that elevator ride that I was going to marry him. I’m very pragmatic, and I was, like, OK, there’s some kind of connection here. He ticked every box, and — boom — by the time we got to the floor, I was like, OK, sold.

He seemed so together. He was so handsome, he was so connected, he was so grown-up, so he was very intimidating. And he really chased me — not that he had to chase that hard. It excited me but it also scared me, because I knew he was different and that whatever it was I felt with him was very different from what I’d felt before.

Now, we say it [I love you] to each other every night before we go to sleep, and we say it at the end of every telephone conversation, and we write it at the end of every e-mail. Every time you think, I love you, I really believe you have to say it. If you think about holding their hand or kissing them, you do it. I do it all the time.

Getting older together has been interesting because we’ve both changed. I was very quiet at the beginning of our relationship — I’m actually a very, extremely, almost pathologically shy person, which no one believes today, because I have also mastered a work/public façade that takes an enormous amount of energy to project. And Richard, when we first got together, was very, very social and very talkative.. but meeting us today you would think the opposite.

One of the things that always amuses me — amuses isn’t even the right word, because it doesn’t amuse me — but often, I’m at dinner parties with very close friends, straight, and they realize that Richard and I have been together 24 years, and the response is often, ‘Wow, you guys have been together 24 years! That’s so amazing. I don’t think of gay men being together that long.’ And I’m, like, ‘Why? What are you talking about?’ Some of the longest relationships I know of are same-sex couples. A lot of my straight friends have married and divorced and married and divorced in the time Richard and I have been together.

I’m someone who likes being part of a couple and always wanted that and always sought that, and it would probably be true for me whether I was gay or straight.

Richard and I are bound together, and I think that’s what that recognition is when you look someone in the eyes and you feel like you’ve known them forever. It is a kind of coming home.

Richard Buckley, writer:

The whole time down in the elevator I was babbling on like a schoolgirl… I was shamelessly flirting with this boy. He, meanwhile, said nothing, and the quieter he was, the sillier I became.

For our first date… Tom sat there chit-chatting: ‘And in 10 years I’m going to be showing my own collection in Paris, and I’m going to be a millionaire, and I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do that.’ And I kept thinking, This guy is really naive. But as we talked about other things, it was almost like seeing down a rabbit hole. I felt like I was looking at his eyes, and it was just spinning around and taking me down inside him. I could see he was a good man with a big heart.

I couldn’t imagine being without Tom now. I couldn’t imagine what I’d be like if something happened to him. There’s only one Tom for me. He is still that man who I met 24 years ago, who has a good heart.

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What I’d give to hold you

And to hold you in my arms, as we spoon and snuggle into each other in bed

I would give anything. Anything.

Wouldn’t it be nice to share our lives, to watch sunrises and sunsets together, to have a swanky apartment of our own, to grow rich together, to celebrate our milestones and birthdays every year, to sleep together every night, to make each other laugh non-stop, to go on long holidays and adventures? You know… just the two of us, hand in hand, being really happy together… For 10, 20, 30 years, for a really really really long time.

Maybe we can even start a business from scratch together, work hard at creating our pride and joy, and have successful careers together, while watching our money grow. Think of all the amazing things we can do together. To have and to hold. What would you give to turn this dream into reality? Anything.

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Love is knowing who’s the boss

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My first thought when I look at this quote was: ‘Is this why I kept giving in to you all the time??’

HAHAHA! I felt very amused, so I took a photo of it when I was at the art museum (I love visiting art museums by the way). Then I remember how you’d always say that I’m bossy one, because I’d make sure we do things the right way like you have to eat proper meals or you shouldn’t rub your eyes or I must tuck you in bed so you can sleep well or you must eat your medicine or you should do this or that in a certain way …

And you’d tell me that I should let you do what you like even if it could be wrong, because it’s your choice and I can’t always ‘micromanage’ everything.

Then I’d tell you I do all these, because I care for you and want the best for you all the time. I’d explain to you cheerfully like: ‘If I don’t love you, I wouldn’t worry about you at all.’ And you’d roll your eyes in a ‘yah, right’ way. And I’d look sheepishly at you. Ha!

Sometimes when you’re in a good mood, you would say that I’m very caring or I’m very ‘motherly’. And I would roll my eyes and look sheepishly at you.

Then recently I realised I occasionally behave like this to almost everyone. Maybe I am a natural worrier and I feel responsible for most people’s well-being. Like that day I saw someone rubbing her eyes with her dirty hands and I insisted and nagged that she should wash them or her eyes would be infected and she might go blind until she relented. Or if I know someone hasn’t eaten, I’d nag non-stop at them to go eat something. Or when my friend lost her mobile phone in a cab and hadn’t done anything to retrieve it, I kept asking her to call the cab company and her phone until she gave in. Yes, I know… Bad habit.

Or how when I have meals with people, I would make sure everyone has enough to eat and would eat lesser so everyone has more. And I would keep telling everyone to take more food. Seriously! What’s wrong with me, right?!

I should really chill and let everyone, including the one I love, do whatever they like in any way they want, even if I think it’s better to do it my way. Haha!

Everyone should have a chance to make their own mistakes and I shouldn’t deprive them of that learning experience. Also, I guess if I don’t like my mum nagging at me all the time, why would other people want me to nag at them?!

So yes, I’m gonna stay cool from now on and let the world be. No one needs to know how caring or responsible or motherly or naggy or bossy I really am.

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Serendipity

When good things happen to awesome people like me. Oh yeah.

So it was the fourth of July two days ago and it was a big deal for the US. For me, it was just another long day at work and wanting to talk to someone badly. It didn’t happen.

Anyway I was really excited about July. The first day started with lots of laughter when we watched this really hilarious comedy skit that poked fun on everything from the government, politics, celebrity scandals, racial differences, medicine to being gay. It was good-natured and well acted out that we kept laughing and laughing. During intermission, we went to get beers. So I ended up watching the second half with this tingly alcoholic buzz that made everything even funnier. I’m so glad we decided to watch it!

On the second day (Monday), I remembered I had a horoscope forecast for this month, which got me even more excited. Here it is:

This July is a time to seriously apply yourself to your duties and responsibilities. Take charge in home, career and community affairs. Be patient and apply yourself to routine and details diligently. Organise your personal life and your career. Tie up loose ends. Start projects that will improve your living situation such as repairing the house or starting a garden.

Someone in your circle of friends and relatives needs help. Usually, this is a younger person who has not found stability or purpose in life.

This month may well bring an excellent opportunity in your own career. Focus on legal affairs. Discipline and effort are the key words for July. Romance takes a more serious turn. Expectations are expressed and commitments made.

It’s kinda true because I do have an excellent opportunity in my career now. But what really got me hot under the collar is that romance takes a more serious turn this month, with expectations expressed and commitments made. Woooooooooooooooo-hooooooooooo! Can’t wait.

I’ve always loved the word “serendipity” after watching the movie of the same name in 2001, starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale. This is a romantic comedy about how two strangers met while shopping and felt mutual attraction for each other. They ended up having ice cream, going ice-skating, and talking about star constellations. At the end of the night, they decided to entrust their fate to destiny and left their phone numbers on a dollar note and in a book because the girl said if they were meant to be together, they will find their way back to each other somehow.

Then a few years passed and the two believed they’ve lost each other forever. Both were with other people now but they decided to find each other one last time. So both individuals traced back their steps that wonderful night separately and through a series of mishaps, they felt that maybe the chance is lost.Then things started changing, with them receiving the items they wrote their phone numbers in few years ago. So they set off looking for each other again and just when they thought they have lost hope, the first snowflake fell. And their eyes met at the park where they saw the stars. A year later, the happy couple celebrated their anniversary at the same spot where they first met.

I truly believe in that good fortune and good things do happen to you when you radiate positive energy and are not actively seeking them. And when they do, you feel so ridiculously happy because you didn’t expect them and you start feeling lucky. And when you feel lucky and happy, you just begin to feel even luckier and happier. And when you feel luckier and happier, even more good fortune and good things start happening to you. True?

Because life is that simple; find what it is that makes you happy and who it is that makes you happy and you’re set.

Hehe, I have a sudden urge to watch the movie again.

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Happily ever laughter

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What a wonderful weekend! In fact, what a wonderful week it has been! And I can’t wait for the week ahead, and the week after that and weeks ahead! Yes, I know I am ending every sentence with an exclamation mark. I can’t help it. I’m just too happy and excited and in love with my life. So I’ll add a few more exclamation marks for good measure. Whee!!!

I babysat Milo (my naughty but adorable dog) on Monday evening because my parents were out of town. Even though he destroyed the remote control and left a pile of poop in a corner of the house, I still feel a surge of love whenever he comes running and wagging his tail at us. We then went for a long run and came home happily filled with endorphins. I made him dinner, I ate my dinner and then settled back to read the papers while he snoozed next to me. It was so incredibly blissful that I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time.

Tuesday I came home to a wonderful feast of the King of the kings of fruits: Mao Shan Wang durian. Its flesh was so thick, so creamy and so bittersweet with just the right amount of firmness. Its seeds were tiny, meaning there was lots of durian flesh to enjoy. It was much better than a chocolate orgasm. Seriously. I felt so lucky and pampered that I had to remember to eat slowly so I could savour every single bite of the best durian ever.

Wednesday I attended my first ever baking class and it was enlightening. I never knew how much egg yolks, butter, cream and sugar we use to make desserts. Now that I know the truth, I can never un-know it. 😦

But it was fun learning to bake flour-less chocolate cake (it might be healthier to continue using flour if we had to use twice the amount of yolks and butter just to replace the flour), raspberry tart and creme brûlée. The class was also interesting as a learning ground for me. It made me realise I have absolutely NO passion in baking and standing around the chef while she gives us instructions. Perhaps it was my frighteningly short attention span but I knew then that I’m not a born baker; I much prefer to eat the chocolate chips than trying to melt them into sauce. So that’s another wonderful day of learning for me.

I met up with some friends on Thursday and we went shopping for our Saturday plans. Then we had a delicious Korean meal that I totally enjoyed and can’t wait to try it again. See, yet another great day and to make it even more awesome, it was Friday the next day! Win.

Friday. We’ve reached the promised land. Work was easy breezy and time flew by quickly. I went for a beauty product launch held at this mega-club that I have never gone to before so that was an eye-opener. Drinking refreshingly tasty Sangrias in the company of very well-dressed fashionistas was exciting. It made me felt like I was part of the cool crowd. HAHAHA!!!

I made some new friends there and they dragged me off to another party and I got to know more new people. I was on such a happy alcoholic buzz the whole night that I felt like a super cool kid. Oh, oh, and I received some expensive products (that I’ve been thinking of purchasing since last week) from the launch, which means I get to save money now. Seriously, how wonderful life is? Are you jealous yet? Are you? Are you?

But what made Friday night even sweeter was when I got home? I spent a few hours talking to someone I really adore. We ended up texting until we fell asleep. That was nice.

And Saturday was the local Mardi Gras party held in a big park. It was loud, it was brightly coloured, it was hot, it was crowded, it was humid, it was FUN. My friends and I brought our dogs along to celebrate the freedom to love (regardless of what gender you prefer) and everyone gave the dogs more attention than they gave us. I told my friends that we were just the owners with blurry faces in those people’s minds. Haha!

We then had a yummy ramen dinner al fresco style at a quaint neighbourhood while our dogs lounged around us. It was incredibly beautiful and tranquil. That was when I thought: “I wish you were here to share all my happiness with me tonight.” 🙂

After dinner, we took a stroll before parking ourselves at a stylish cafe for desserts. Sitting there, sipping tea and eating cakes while looking at the dogs exploring their surrounds and chatting and laughing with my friends just felt so amazing. You really feel that life was perfect and there’s nothing more you want in life than to do this every weekend. I perked up at one point during the conversation and said: “Tonight feels like a Sunday. But it’s not!”

My friend then quipped: “Which means we have another day to enjoy ourselves!”

And we all grinned at each other. Again, I wished you were here with us tonight. You’d have so much fun.

Sunday was just so fucking perfect. I never laughed so hard for two hours in my life. It was a great decision to watch a comedy matinee (pictured above). I have never been prouder of my nationality and my country. And you know what made it funnier? Having a beer during the intermission and getting a lovely buzz in the second half that made every line the comedians said thrice as funny. You’d have loved the play and enjoyed yourself today. I know I did.

This is such a long entry for what I really want to express. Hehe. What I really want to say is: I love this entire week. I love my friends. And I love my life.

And we all live happy ever laughter.