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LOL every day to keep all illnesses away

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Photo credit: Distractify.com

The 28 Most Flawless Responses To A Wrong Number Text…LOL! (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/24-flawless-responses-to-wrong-number-texts/)

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Photo credit: Distractify.com

The 35 Naughtiest Dogs On The Planet. You’ll Laugh So Hard When You See What They Did! (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/dogs-who-are-shamelessly-proud-of-what-they-just-did/)

Above are some of the funniest photos I’ve read in December 2013 and they are still funny in 2014. Both webpages are still open as tabs on my FireFox page. I can’t bear to close them just yet, because I still laugh whenever I read them again. And I’d laugh so hard that my stomach aches and my eyes tear. And since I’m a generous person, I am sharing them with you today, because I want you to laugh as heartily as I did. Haven’t you heard? Laughing really hard is equivalent to doing crunches and it’s more fun too. Fun and beneficial for health; what more can a rather lazy person ask for?

From the Telegraph UK (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7635143/Laughter-really-is-the-best-medicine-as-doctors-find-it-can-be-as-healthy-as-exercise.html):

“… the high you get from a giggling fit was similar to the endorphin rush from exercise. … it can reduce your risk of a heart attack and diabetes and generally regulate the body’s vital functions.”

From the Discovery channel (http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/10-reasons-why-laughing-good-for-you.htm):

“… laughter improves blood flow, suppresses stress hormones and gives you a burst of exercise. … laughter has been shown to increase levels of salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA), an important antibody that fights bacteria and infections, especially those in the respiratory system.”

Enjoy and spread the laughter!

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Laugh at dogs that photobomb

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Photo credit: REDDIT ELVENDUDE

I laughed, when I saw this pic last week, and I laughed again, when I saw it in my phone’s photo album today. The innocent expressions are so hilarious and I don’t think the dogs had any idea what was going on. Innocence is so adorable!

There’s a series of photos here that you can view and laugh to your heart’s content, though I have no idea how many of them were photoshopped (some you can blatantly see they are fake).

On Saturday, I was accosted by a McDonald’s in-house staff who was recruiting bystanders on the street to join the fast food giant. It was the company’s country-wide recruitment day and I happened to walk past the restaurant at 9:30am on my way to get coffee. Lucky me. She took my friendly smile and eye contact for consent to come forward to pitch to me how great working at McDonald’s would be for me.

Holding onto a piece of paper illustrating the hourly wages (which were not a lot) and the overtime pay (also not a lot) in one hand, while holding onto my arm with the other, she said it’s a fun environment and I would learn many things and it’d be a good way to occupy my time. In my mind, I was thinking I didn’t know I look so relaxed and unburdened by work stress. Or maybe I look jobless? Or in need of a distraction?

She added that if I join the company, I could easily rise up the career ladder to become a store manager of McDonald’s within one year, because I am young, plus I can read and write. She then gestured to her store manager who was standing nearby pitching to some middle-aged housewives, saying that she had learned the ropes and climbed up the ranks within a short time, so I shouldn’t be afraid to try the job out, because I look like I can achieve anything. Should I be flattered? Hahaha!

She then looked at me so earnestly that I nearly wanted to put my name down on her list to help her meet her target. She tried sweetening the deal by saying I could just put my name down on the list first and decline to come for the interview later. But I resisted, despite my overwhelming desire to help, because I know I shouldn’t waste anyone’s time if I’m not interested. Ahem. So take note, young job seekers out there.

I have to admit though, I’m keen to find out how McDonald’s recruits and selects its staff. So one day, I might just walk in to the restaurant to apply for a job to test its processes on fairness and effectiveness. So erm… Watch out! I might just “photobomb” your recruitment someday!

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Past lovers

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I’d like to think it’s true, since for some strange cosmic reason, I’m never friends with any of my exes. I tried once or twice and it didn’t work out well. Maybe they’re still in love with me, but I highly doubt it, because it’s more to do with me putting zero percent effort in staying in touch.

There are times when I can be so aloof and cold towards people I no longer have affection for that it’s scary for those who like me. Hell, I don’t even like the way I behave towards people sometimes. I can be so bewildering unemotional that I scare myself whenever I think about it.

My friend Erica once said this of me, which I’ve kindly summarised for you: “I’m so unpredictable that people are scared to be friends with me, because they never know when I will be hot or cold towards them. So even though they want to develop a friendship with me, I would never allow them to come close to me.”

One of my exes said something similar to me after an argument. She said I had a wall so high that when she tried breaking it down (or scale over), I kept findings ways to prevent her from doing so and one day she would eventually get tired of trying. Long story short, she did stop trying. That was mainly because I had a self-destructive streak in me which made me believe that I had to try all ways possible to make someone jump through blazing hoops to prove they truly love me and would never leave me, no matter what destructive behaviour I exhibit. Sick huh? I know. The 2013 me is a new and improved version of that 2008-9 defective me.

I had a similar conversation with this another girl who was truly in love with me (I think… Even though she was with someone else at that time), but the 2010 me refused to give her a proper chance, because I didn’t think she was right for me, so I subconsciously declined her advances. I mean, if she could cheat on her partner with me, the likelihood of her cheating on me when we do get together would be really high. First, I wouldn’t trust her and my insecurity would be obvious in my behaviour, which would have made things unpleasant between us. Plus, I wouldn’t want my karma debt to go further into deficit.

It’s weird how karma works, doesn’t it? How the things/misdeeds I did to others were repeated on me. Like I accidentally took this novel my ex-girlfriend loaned me because she wanted me to read one of her favourite books. Shortly after, we broke up and I never had a chance to return it to her. So it’s been on my bookshelf for the past four years and I still haven’t read a single page of it. Maybe I should message her on Facebook soon and see if I could post it back to her.

Why have I brought this up? Because the exact same situation happened to me recently. I loaned my favourite Kokology book to this former love of mine, because she loves it and I wanted to make her happy because I thought we’d be together forever. So in a way, I was renting it to her. Alas, we broke up months later and I never had the chance to get that book back.

Karma sucks. The end.

If two past lovers can remain friends, it’s either they were never in love or they still are.

I’m just going to console myself by thinking that all my exes are somehow in one way or another secretly in love with me, because through knowing and loving me I have inexplicably changed their lives for the better. I’m a life-changer. They just don’t know it yet.

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You’ve got the sweetest ass in the world

When I first heard this line on the comedy ‘Wedding Band’, it made me laugh out loud and I immediately thought of an ass whom I’ve missed greatly. Maybe she will never know, but this is a cheeky tribute to her extremely fair, perky buttocks whose tender round cheeks I missed aiming a bite at.

Cheesy lyrics trying to rhyme, a catchy tune and pumping dance beats that you can shake your butt twice at… What’s not to love about this song?!

I hear your voice when none was around

I’m still here and I’m losing ground

Feel like the earth move under my feet

I feel you in every single heartbeat

You are a lovely, lovely refrain

You spin around and round in my brain

But today, mostly, I am feeling pensive and the weather has been reflecting my mood — dark clouds, heavy downpour, chilly winds — and watching romantic films like ‘Notting Hill’ (even though it’s also listed as a comedy) with quotes like below only makes it worse.

There’s this girl … She’s someone I just can’t — someone who … self-evidently can’t be mine — and it’s as if I’ve taken love-heroin — and now I can’t even have it again. I’ve opened Pandora’s box. And there’s trouble inside.

The truth is … with you, I’m in real danger. It’d look like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours — but my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not recover if I was once again … cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be … You’d go and I’d be … well, buggered, basically.

[Lyrics via http://www.lyricsforsong.net/]

[Script via Awesomefilm.com]

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Tom Ford and Richard Buckley Forever

Tom Ford and the love of his life

I was researching the Internet for a marketing assignment I am doing when I came across this headline ‘Tom Ford is a father!’ and I immediately clicked on it. Obviously.

As it turns out, the feted fashion designer, 51, and his long-term partner Richard Buckley (pictured left, if you don’t know who Ford is), 64, has a new baby son recently. But that’s not the amazing part of the story. The most amazing part of it is that Ford has been in a relationship with Buckley for the past 25 years. That’s a relationship that is only slightly younger than me! How awesome is that?!

So I continued reading the article and it brought me to another link to where the original story was taken from: Out.com. And the recollections from Ford and Buckley on how they felt when they first saw each other, how they were both ready to settle down, fall in love, and how they are growing old together was so beautifully written that my eyes were moist by the time I finished reading it. I know, what’s up with my emotions the older I grow, right?! HAHA!

The couple met when Ford was just 25 (and a nobody then) and Buckley, the former editor-in-chief of Vogue Hommes International, was 38. And how their love began and continues to stay strong is a heart-warming story.

Tom Ford, designer:
You can look at someone and feel like you’ve known him forever. The first night I ever had drinks with Richard I felt I knew everything about him…

We first encountered each other at a fashion show in New York in 1986. He was confident and handsome in a way that made him almost unapproachable. His stare was so intense that it completely unnerved me, and when the show was over I literally bolted out the door and down the street to avoid him.

Ten days later, my employer, Cathy Hardwick, sent me to the office of Women’s Wear Daily to retrieve some clothes. I was directed to the roof where they were being photographed, and as the elevator opened, there was the man with the eyes the color of water…

He was adorable, and he was a complete fool. He was sort of dancing around, flashing his eyes at me, and trying so hard to be charming. I decided in that elevator ride that I was going to marry him. I’m very pragmatic, and I was, like, OK, there’s some kind of connection here. He ticked every box, and — boom — by the time we got to the floor, I was like, OK, sold.

He seemed so together. He was so handsome, he was so connected, he was so grown-up, so he was very intimidating. And he really chased me — not that he had to chase that hard. It excited me but it also scared me, because I knew he was different and that whatever it was I felt with him was very different from what I’d felt before.

Now, we say it [I love you] to each other every night before we go to sleep, and we say it at the end of every telephone conversation, and we write it at the end of every e-mail. Every time you think, I love you, I really believe you have to say it. If you think about holding their hand or kissing them, you do it. I do it all the time.

Getting older together has been interesting because we’ve both changed. I was very quiet at the beginning of our relationship — I’m actually a very, extremely, almost pathologically shy person, which no one believes today, because I have also mastered a work/public façade that takes an enormous amount of energy to project. And Richard, when we first got together, was very, very social and very talkative.. but meeting us today you would think the opposite.

One of the things that always amuses me — amuses isn’t even the right word, because it doesn’t amuse me — but often, I’m at dinner parties with very close friends, straight, and they realize that Richard and I have been together 24 years, and the response is often, ‘Wow, you guys have been together 24 years! That’s so amazing. I don’t think of gay men being together that long.’ And I’m, like, ‘Why? What are you talking about?’ Some of the longest relationships I know of are same-sex couples. A lot of my straight friends have married and divorced and married and divorced in the time Richard and I have been together.

I’m someone who likes being part of a couple and always wanted that and always sought that, and it would probably be true for me whether I was gay or straight.

Richard and I are bound together, and I think that’s what that recognition is when you look someone in the eyes and you feel like you’ve known them forever. It is a kind of coming home.

Richard Buckley, writer:

The whole time down in the elevator I was babbling on like a schoolgirl… I was shamelessly flirting with this boy. He, meanwhile, said nothing, and the quieter he was, the sillier I became.

For our first date… Tom sat there chit-chatting: ‘And in 10 years I’m going to be showing my own collection in Paris, and I’m going to be a millionaire, and I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do that.’ And I kept thinking, This guy is really naive. But as we talked about other things, it was almost like seeing down a rabbit hole. I felt like I was looking at his eyes, and it was just spinning around and taking me down inside him. I could see he was a good man with a big heart.

I couldn’t imagine being without Tom now. I couldn’t imagine what I’d be like if something happened to him. There’s only one Tom for me. He is still that man who I met 24 years ago, who has a good heart.

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Halloween

Few days before Halloween…

Me: “I can go as an overworked employee. I hear it’s very popular these days.”

Friend: “Hahaha! Can I go as Agyness Deyne?”

Me: “You can go as Agyness Deyne’s armpit.”

Friend: “I wonder what Agyness Deyne’s armpit looks like.”

Me: “It’s a wonderland.”

Friend: “Hahaha! There are a couple of parties on Saturday. We could do that or we can just find a bar to sit at and laugh at people.”

Me: “We can party-hop and MOCK at people at the same time. We have safety in numbers.”

Friend: “You do realise we can mock each other. Haha!”

Me: “I don’t think I’d look scary enough.”

Friend: “I can give you dark rings and wrinkles. I can give you eye bags too.”

Me: “I am going for a scary look, not trying to look old here. I already have my natural dark rings and wrinkles! I don’t need any more eye bags on top of my natural ones!!”

Friend: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

On Saturday night itself…

Me (in costume): “There is a bunch of girls walking towards me and they are all in costume. There is Catwoman, Slutty Nerd, Slutty Zorro and other assorted slutty people. I feel very self-conscious for them and myself.”

Friend: “Hahaha! Take a pic with them.”

Me: “No, it’s embarrassing enough.”

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Uno, dos, tres

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There are three things you should know about me.

1. I love breakfast. I practically wake up thinking about eating breakfast or wondering what I should eat for breakfast or is there something I can eat while waiting to eat a nicer breakfast. Maybe I just wake up hungry all the time.

I love the idea of breakfast so much that I am willing to wake up early to prepare a nice sumptuous meal for myself (or for someone) or go to an exquisite cafe for brunch on weekends.

Nothing like a hot cup of coffee and an omelette (filled with ham, mushrooms and cheese) with nicely fried bacon to kickstart your day. (See picture above.)

I also love hotel international buffet breakfasts. The sheer variety of food and cuisines I get to sample in the morning makes me so happy I practically skip from my hotel room to the buffet spread in the restaurant.

Breakfast is, after all, the king of the meals and the most important meal of all since it’s your first meal of the day so if you get your first meal right, then you’re getting off to a superb start to the rest of your day. Agree?

I just love breakfast so much I wish I could eat it three times a day. And just the thought of eating breakfast already makes me happy, which brings me to the second thing you should know about me.

2. I like laughing and having fun. I am always up for an adventure or doing something different and exciting or out of the norm.

Tell me you want to try something new and you want me to come along, I’d be the first one standing beside you, all raring to go (even if I had tried it before). I am very enthusiastic like that. It helps that I’m very easygoing.

Likewise, I would be thinking of new adventures to go on and new places to try or new things to do or talk about so we will always have so much fun and laughter together.

What gets me more excited and absolutely bubbling with joy is when the person is as equally enthusiastic as I am. Together, we can rule the world.

3. The third thing about me is that I never think the worst of anyone I meet or know or even once knew. I know of people who would immediately assess any new person they meet and confidently decreeing that they are either good/bad/someone to be wary of/probably this and that type. You know, those who would calculate everyone’s motives so they can play this elaborate three-step ahead chess game.

Me? I’d probably say hi and try to have the usual small talk while my mind wanders off to what I should have for breakfast.

And when someone tells me so-and-so was not nice or did something unexpectedly bad, it usually comes as a shock to me because I always assume that everyone is genuine. Yes, I am the sort who would embrace (metaphorically) a person’s qualities and ignore the flaws and all.

I hardly talk bad behind people’s back or indulge in gossip. I mean sure, I do get annoyed and have occasional run-ins or disagreements with people about work or service standards or opinions and I would bitch about them to my friends to understand why would people behave differently from me but I have never once thought bad of anyone.

Even if my friends said these people deserve to rot, I’d always play the devil’s advocate and find reasons for their behaviour so I won’t fault them. Maybe I’d feel bad for them. Mostly, I’d be objective.

My friends say I am too nice, too naive, too empathetic, too silly and the world is not as kind as I had imagined it to be.

And bit by bit, I learn to stay away from people who are maybe not good for me and to be wary of similar behaviour in the future. I am, after all, too nice to be true and I need to toughen up.

So that’s it. Here are three things I thought I’d share with the world wide web this morning. Now… I know I just had breakfast three hours ago. But what should I eat later?