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Today is your day

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It’s been slightly over two months after my birthday and I still feel rather chirpy about it. I feel young and old at the same time, but overall I feel as though a huge burden has lifted from my shoulders. And in its place, there’s a renewed sense of optimism that the whole world is my ‘oyster’ and it’s just waiting for me to go out there and fork it for dinner.

February has been an enlightening month for me, as I took time out to re-evaluate the choices and decisions I made over the past few years about my career and the people in my life. I think I understand my motivations and needs a bit better, which is the grown-up way of saying I’ve matured! Bravo!

Maybe I am (or have already started) distancing myself from those outdated bad habits and relationships that were holding me back from the good stuff. Obviously, I experienced some emotional turmoil because of that, but I dare say the feeling of relief is greater and much more welcome. I am now definitely better at compartmentalising my emotions, at determining the reasons behind why I might feel a certain way and making sure I have mastery over my behaviour. Maybe the spring cleaning I did before the Lunar New Year really helped declutter my mind!

According to my tarot card reading, ‘it is a time of reassessment of your values and priorities and the influence of this month will be felt for a long time to come… the inner changes that take place represent a much larger step forward than you will probably realise at this time.’

I highly recommend everyone to try decluttering the things they no longer use and free their living space (and mind) for greater things to come… and start living life the way you want or do the things you want to achieve… Because…

‘Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So get on your way.’ — Dr. Seuss

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Relight our fire

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I wrote this blog post in 2011. Maybe between October and November. But I didn’t publish it then. I forgot why. Maybe I didn’t feel like having the whole world reading my heartbroken thoughts. But it has been over a year and a few months now since I last edited this post on 20 October 2012. I guess I have grown up a little and become a little stronger. And I’m okay letting you read this now (if you still read my blog).

Sometime late in late 2011:

I just spent 17 minutes of my life watching a YouTube video on the stages of a relationship a couple goes through. I had tears in my eyes when I saw what the couple went through. The ups and downs, the highs and the lows. The earlier scenes had me nodding and even smiling at the accuracy depicted when you get to know someone new. As the couple became comfortable and familiar with each other, things started to change. And it is not always for the better.

While I probably will not watch it another time (ok maybe just one more time) because it is so time-consuming, I will just break the stages here so I can recap why it is so important for two people in love to work at staying in love. Otherwise, when one of us stops trying, two people who were once so in love will end up hating each other and forgetting why they fell in love in the first place.

This is from me to you:

When I first met you, you were something special. It was unbelievable how we clicked over the phone even though we haven’t seen each other for the longest time. Whenever your name popped up on my phone screen, I would get butterflies in my stomach. You probably still don’t know this, but I’d smile whenever I saw your messages. Getting to know you all over again was fun, exciting and innocent because I genuinely wanted to know every single thing you had to say. It was nice to share my thoughts with you, regardless of what popped up in my mind. If something happened in gym class, you’d be the first person I texted. If I saw something funny, you’d be the first person I told. If I took a really nice photo, you’d be the first person I sent it to. Even if you weren’t online, I would text you anyway because I was that enthusiastic about sharing every bit of my life with you.

It was amazing how we could spend hours chatting non-stop about everything and nothing in particular. If I didn’t hear from you for a few days, I’d find myself missing you. I remember there was one time, we didn’t speak for two days. And then out of a sudden, I got your messages in the middle of the night when I was at a club. I put aside my drinks, my friends, the loud blasting music and just sat at a corner of the couch to continue talking to you. I don’t know if I had told you this but that night, if I could, I would have dropped everything right then and there to go home so I could talk to you without any distractions.

And you were equally excited to read my replies. You sent me some photos you took during your trip in Australia. You even sent one photo of a few bars of soap at home. We were probably grinning to the screen at that point in time. Our replies to each other were fast and furious. There were just so many things to say even though we hadn’t spoken for two days. It felt like we were the only two people in the world.

All I wanted was just to know more about you – either through your messages, your photos, your Facebook and everything that you were interested in. But I was shy to ask you out. Until you made the first move the very next day. After we continued chatting where we left off the night before, you asked me, “Why haven’t you asked me out?”

One thing led to another and that very evening, we met each other for the very first time. And suffice to say, we had a very good time out.

From then now, all I wanted to do was to hang out with you and do interesting or fun stuff together. You were my number one priority. I would choose to go out with you over my friends. Even when I was with my friends, I would think about you all the time. Seeing you just made me yearn for the next time I’d see you again. In my eyes, you were perfect and there was no one else I want to spend time with or talk to.

It was like the stars for us were aligned. Everything felt right. Even the first time we kissed felt perfect. It was our honeymoon. We could be affectionate with each other without fear. We could do even more silly fun things together. Every moment together was our moment to cherish. We held hands, we hugged, we had random talks over the phone and we had great dates. We were a fun couple. It was a dream come true.

We took many photos together, we knew every single detail of our daily lives, we went on holidays together, we made plans to go out together. When you were away, we would be chatting on Skype and looking at each other on video calls, talking about the soonest possible time we would see each other again. I remember there were a few times, when the minute you arrive at your location, you’d text or log online to talk to me so we will always be in touch. The best part is we will always talk about how much we miss each other and how we can’t wait to see each other soon. And when you arrive home, we will always see each other the next day without fail.

Things were still fun and yet comfortable. We could even have so much fun watching TV and dissing everyone on any show we watched. We’d sleep spooning each other and wake up cuddling. We’d fight over the bolster, but I will always give in to you and in return you’d ‘generously’ let me kiap the bottom part of it so I can spoon you instead. I’d give you the whole blanket and hold your hot body for warmth when I start shivering. You’d fart at random parts of my body and push me away when my hands and feet are too cold. We were truly behaving like ourselves with each other. We might have to wear different masks to face different people in our lives, but when we were together, what we gave each other was our true genuine self.

But there were some aspects of our lives that became slightly challenging even when I thought things were going so well. I found out about the ex-bf issues, which consumed my entire mind from that moment. Maybe I was too foolish to not pick up on the signs. I became unsettled, wondering what I did wrong. I wrote many private blog posts (maybe someday I will publish them) about everything that I couldn’t let go. You probably didn’t know or even understand how much pain, how much heartache, how much tears I had. It was a recurring pain that affected the best part of our honeymoon for a few months. It has thankfully ceased for two months now.

Then slowly things began changing. Messages became infrequent. Replies were even slower or sometimes non-existent. Phone calls were no longer picked up instantly. Photos or updates that were usually first sent to each other were posted on various social networking sites first. Words of affection were no longer said out loud. Even emails were no longer as excitedly received as they once were. There was tension between each other once in a while. When we had bad days, it became worse if we didn’t let go. We became even more sensitive to each other’s actions or words. Then we became desensitised when the other party no longer wanted to give in or make up.

Conversations became fewer or sometimes zero. We stopped going out so often. We stopped sharing the things we were doing when the other person wasn’t around. Making plans to go out involved asking, “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t know. Anywhere.” “I can’t decide.”

When did I stop wanting to do the romantic things I have always wanted to do for you? When did I start censoring my thoughts and the things I wanted to share with you? When did I become so scared of asking you anything? When did I become so afraid of telling you anything? When did I stop sharing every funny thought I had? When did I become so paranoid the times when you were out without me? When did I become afraid of telling you I miss you or even I love you?

Our lives will continue on in different directions. We might become strangers again. Everything we shared will just become fragmented memories. After a long time has passed, we might even question if the relationship did really happen. All we would have left is a box of stuff full of memories of things we did together, but couldn’t quite remember when or why.

For a period of time, you were a stranger who became the most important person in my life. You made me grin (in public all the time) and realise how much I could love someone again. You said once that I made you happy and that your friends told you they had never seen you happier. I guess we were the sun, the rainbow, the world and all the beautiful things in each other’s lives.

I just want to say I’m sorry. Our relationship was important to me. You were important to me. For the longest time, I felt that you were my One and Only. But I didn’t know how to fix us, even though I wanted you back so so much.

I think that if life separates us and we are in totally different places, I’ll always remember this period of time when our paths aligned, and I’ll always be thankful for that. And I hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful too.

GWBB, be happy always. XOXO

P/S: Now that it’s 2012, this still feels surreal. I’ve carried you in my heart for so long (even until today) that sometimes I wonder if you could feel what I feel. No wonder, I titled this blog post as ‘Relight our fire’. Listen to the song by Take That again. It’s very apt, don’t you think?

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It’s my 30th birthday

Happy 30th BirthdayBe nice.

Today’s the day I turn 30. And I am a little nonchalant about the 30 years I have taken to get here. It should be an impressive milestone celebrated with the family, close friends and perhaps a life partner, but all I feel is ‘meh’. While in my teens, I’ve always thought I’d die young.You know, because I’d be living the fast and dangerous rebel’s life.

But the minute I hit 25, my perspective changed to ‘I want to live for as long as possible and to do great things in my life’. So far, I have accomplished the ‘live as long as possible’ bit, but sadly I’m still far away from the ‘do great things’ part and was getting depressed over it.

So what did I do? I Googled about ‘turning 30’. And my best friend did not let me down. In 0.43 seconds, it showed me 234,000,000 results on why turning 30 may not be that bad after all.

Julie Tilsner, who wrote about the subject in her book 29 and Counting, said:

‘Thirty is nothing to be afraid of. You’ve got a whole new decade to work with, and this time you’re prepared! You’re educated, you have years in the workplace, you finally know what your hair will and won’t do. You can still dance on tables, but you have some life experience. Turning 30 is actually a really awesome thing.’

All sounds very positive. So there’s absolutely nothing to feel gloomy or to freak out about.

30 Is Different for Everyone

When I was younger, I’d dream about being an astronaut, or a pilot (much like Tom Cruise from Top Gun. Still a brilliant film and a handsome guy, no matter what anyone says!) or Indiana Jones. Whether I become a lawyer or a doctor, I’d be cool, charismatic and carefree like the heroes I aspire to be.

Then I hit the teenage years and things started going downhill from there. I got mixed up in the wrong crowds, I played truant from school, I ran away from home, I gave up a promising sports career in the national team and I dropped out of school. All before I turned 16. In short, I got distracted from obtaining a good education that would supposedly set me on my path to greatness.

Two years later, I woke up metaphorically from my ‘going-nowhere-in-life’ slumber. I also had my first major heartbreak from a relationship I thought would last forever. I nearly killed myself because of one person, until my mum came home just in time to stop me. How silly, right? I felt stuck working in a restaurant. There is nothing with earning a decent living as a service staff, but it just didn’t feel like I was in the right job, doing the right thing I like. That got me thinking about my life, my future and myself.

I picked up the pieces, bit by bit. I changed to a permanent part-time job at a pub and I signed up for part-time classes to get the necessary certifications to get to the art school I wanted. I even went back to my former secondary school to seek help from my art teacher to improve my portfolio. That was how determined I was.

At age 20, I finally got into the art school I was aiming for. I was taking my car and motorbike licences. I had a relatively cushy part-time job. I met someone new to get over the heartbreak I had been nursing for the past two years. I was popular in school, just like in secondary school. So I was still cool, charismatic and carefree. I was delighted with life.

In the year that I was due to turn 21, I met someone who would prove to be a great love of my life. We spent all our waking hours together and we were inseparable and everyone was envious of us and what we had. There were rough moments. I had the nastiest temper and I was immature. And yet we were together for the next five years, most of which were good and we stuck together through the ups and all obstacles that objected to our relationship. We had a fiery relationship and sparks flew all the time. But it was tough to keep the spark between us alive, and ultimately, it was to burn out like a flame. I had to let go.

In my 25th year on earth, I found a job I enjoyed and something I can proudly proclaim to be relatively good at and skills that have enabled me to earn a decent living. I was a journalist. I’ve always wanted to write for a living and I did. I also met someone I thought I could fall in love with and start afresh in my love life. Well, it started afresh alright, but it wasn’t meant to last because I was still in love with the great love of my life. I couldn’t let go and it took a toll on me. I had volatile mood swings and my behaviour was dodgy. I would have dumped my sorry ass too, now that I am looking back. We spent close to a year together, but the relationship ended and gave me the second major heartbreak of my relatively young life. It took me a year to get over it and dust the debris away. One of the reasons I created this blog was to write about the pain I had inside me. I was broken for a long time, but while learning to deal with the pain, I learned many things about myself and I made some new lasting friendships that helped me through the turmoil I was in.

Soon the year I was turning 28 arrived. And I met someone whom I wanted to give my whole life to make her happy all the time. More than half of the posts published (and set as private) on this blog have been dedicated to her. I have never filled up so much virtual space about someone before. I have no idea if I would ever do (or feel) the same for anyone else again.

Now That I Am Finally 30
Now that I am turning 30, the past no longer seems like a chink on my armour. I get that I may not be as talented, as popular, as good-looking, as famous, as wealthy as other people my age, but it’s okay. I am still special in my own way; I am a little unique snowflake that will just be doing adult-like things in my own time. I may not be a best-selling author or a successful CEO yet, but I am still a success in my own way.

Should I have spent my teens studying hard and get Bs so I could have gotten into a good college? Should I have not spent all my hours on going to dance clubs and drink myself silly? On hindsight, maybe I should have. Should I have done better in art school instead of watching TV and playing Warcraft with my friends and indulging in Football Manager on most of my days? Maybe. But I didn’t, because I have not touched Warcraft or Football Manager since 2005 and I do not regret getting the most joy out of those games, even though I know I was wasting my time.

Yes, there are people who have made millions before they are 25, earn $10,000 a month by 27 or be famous and successful entrepreneurs before turning 30. Maybe I am an exception. Maybe I am on a different timeline from the rest and there is no happiness to be gained if I keep comparing myself with others. Life is not a race. Life is what you make of it and how happy and satisfied you deem yourself to be, not to spend your hours being envious of others.

Our whole idea about life before or after 30 should not be defined by the progress we are supposed to make or terms dictated by society. It doesn’t mean if we don’t realise our potential by 30, we are never going to succeed; there may be pieces of us that take years to gel and make us the successful person we will become.

According to Heidi Grant Halvorson, author of Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals, we should live our whole life as if we’re in our twenties. ‘It’s that keep-inching-forward mentality that will allow you to be happy with your choices.’

Yes, I admit I am a little sad at the things I have not accomplished or the stuff I thought I would have achieved by now like being an extremely successful high-flyer, having my own apartment, being with the love of my life and travelling around the world. Maybe I am too old to be an astronaut now. Maybe this is the wrong era to be Indiana Jones. Maybe there were many decisions I could have made to get to a different place from where I am now.

But, have I failed at life? I went from a school dropout to studying part-time for a business degree now (very much like Larry Crowne but without the hot lecturer. Nice movie anyway. Go watch it!). I went from a junior service staff to having a relatively okay-paying mid-level media job I enjoy. I have my health (until the results confirm otherwise) and my parents who love me more than I can ever imagine. I am much more confident now and wiser than in my 20s. I am also more than okay to spend time alone and to enjoy my own companionship. I also value myself more. I imagine life can only go up from here.

I am not sure if I will like the idea of turning 30 at all, but now that I am already here, I might as well enjoy it while it last. After all, there’s still the looming 31 to dread over.

So, I will enjoy the year ahead with as much vigour as a unique little snowflake should, because I am 30 and to hell with the rest of you, I’m gonna celebrate by pampering myself the whole of today.

Because today is my day, and no one can be Me-er than Me. 🙂

And stay tuned for the 30 life lessons I’ve learned from my 30 years.

[Image via Sommecards]

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Start loving yourself today

Because no one will love you more than you yourself.

I read this blog post a few months ago and I was blown away by the simplicity of being happy through loving yourself and living your life the way you want. I might have been was going through a bad patch with relationship woes during that period, so I needed any self-help or inspirational quotes to get me through. I can’t remember if I had written or tweeted about it previously, but months later and seeing the web page still opened on my FireFox browser, I decided to re-read the post again. And guess what? The inspirational tips still make sense.

‘Enjoy everything that happens in your life, but never make your happiness or success dependent on an attachment to any person, place or thing.’ — Wayne Dyer

We all deserve to be happy and it’s really up to us to make ourselves happy mentally, emotionally and physically because no one else will love us more, not even our parents. And why wait to make yourself and your life fabulous when you can start today, from this moment? Yes, life’s too short to wait for the day after tomorrow to take care of yourself when you’re the most important person in your world. Do what you want to do now because you’re worth it and you deserve the best in life.

‘We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment; sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake…’ — Francis Bacon

1. Start breathing properly

Take deep breaths throughout the day. Slow deep breathing improves your health and calms you down, according to my yoga instructor and many self-help books. When you’re more conscious of your breathing, you will also become more engaged with the present moment. You won’t think of silly things that trap you in the past or take you too far forward into the future where you might worry about things that have yet happened. When you are aware of being in the present, you live in the moment. And sometimes that’s all you need.

2. Let go of your past and enjoy the present moment

You can still plan ahead, without overthinking it.

Purpose Fairy says: ‘Have a clear image of where you want to go and know how you want your future to look like, but live in the present moment, for the present moment is all you ever had, all that you have and all you’ll ever have. Know that every time you identify with your past, you deny yourself the right to grow and evolve; the right to advance in life.’

3. Let go everything that no longer serves you

Find the inner strength and courage to let go of the things and people that no longer bring joy and happiness into your life. Decluttering and spring-cleaning is not just for your room or before a festive season. You need to declutter the emotional junk that weighs down on you regularly . Be brave to clear out the ‘trash’ and negative people who obstruct your journey to happiness. You’re too awesome for them.

‘There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.’ — Unknown

4. Forgive yourself and the people who have hurt you (even though you rather take revenge on them)

It’s okay to make mistakes. If we don’t make mistakes, we won’t learn and we can’t grow and be even more awesome. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and know that while you can’t turn back time, you will never make the same mistakes again. So there’s no point in harping over it and letting the negativity eat your mind up. It’s time to move on.

Same goes for people who have hurt you or have upset you. Forgive them, because you are the bigger-hearted person. Like what my yoga instructor said this morning, ‘You can’t control what others do, but you can control your actions and how you feel.’

So forgive them and let them go. You don’t have to contact them ever again. Just know that you’ve learnt your lesson and will be better at avoiding such people from now.

‘When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.’ — Catherine Ponder

5. Expect the best from life

This is based on the Law of Attraction theory; when you set your mind to it and ask the Universe for the things you want in life, you will receive the best of the things you ask for at the right time. Ask and you shall receive. All it takes is self-belief and faith that when you want something, the universe conspires to help you to achieve your desires. It works.

6. Treat yourself as how you want others to treat you

When you’re kind and loving toward yourself, you tend to treat yourself better in every way possible because you want the best for yourself. When you are pampered and respected by yourself, you’d naturally be in a good mood all the time (because there’s no reason to not be, right?!). When you’re in a good mood, you’re naturally nice to others and you tend to smile a lot. And kindness begets kindness, while smiling is contagious. Trust me, I’ve seen the cycle and it’s infectious. And others will start treating you the same way as you would to yourself.

7. Be grateful

Ask yourself at the start of every day and every night: ‘What am I grateful for?’

It could be for that day or in general. When you start listing down the little stuff to the bigger things and your list gets longer and longer as the days go by, you become happier and easily contented because you start to realise you have so much good things going for you. You start to see yourself as truly blessed by the universe and you feel lucky all the time because you’re always in such a good mood. See where I am going with this? Yes, it’s a cycle. When you appreciate the little things in life, bigger things arrive to make your life even more awesome.

So yes, here are the seven inspirational tips that are largely based on the blog post and the numerous self-help books and articles on happiness I’ve read throughout my life. Now, go forth and love yourself and live your life the way you want. Just be happy.

[Image via I CAN READ]

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Today I thought of you and not much else

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Not just today. I thought of you the day before. And the day before yesterday. And the day, day before yesterday.

Every thing I do, I wish you were there to have fun with me. Every time I laugh, I wish you were there to share my joy. Every interesting sight I see, I wish you were there to experience the marvel I felt. Every tasty meal I eat, I wish you were there to savour the dish with me.

* “Do you feel tired?”
“Why would I?”
“Because you’ve been running through my mind the whole day.”

*One of the first jokes/lame/romantic pickup line you told me that was kinda sweet. Even though my first response was ‘Huh?’, followed by a long laugh at how adorable/awkward you sounded, then ‘Awwww’ because I finally realised you were trying to tell me you missed me. Ha!

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Choco Baby

I realise I have tons of drafts saved for this blog and when I re-read them, I laughed, swooned, cried (sometimes all at once) at them. So I thought I should publish some really nice (meaningful) ones that are still relevant to me in 2012. Starting with the one below…

I first wrote this blog post on 7 August 2011 at 5.11am and I added on to it earlier today.

If you only had one minute to live, what would you do? Make those moments count or just lay there and wait for it to end?

Ten days ago, we were chatting for a few hours on the phone. As usual, I was at work and my muse was lying on her bed enjoying her lazy afternoon.

It was blazing out there. It was perfect for a snooze, especially after a decent meal.

We were talking about the weather, sleep, lunch, her dog, how both of them slipped and fell down within minutes of each other one morning I was at her place, my nightmare earlier in the morning and other random things that popped up in our heads. There were plenty of “Hahahahas!” in the conversation.

She then tried to create my initials using many “poop” emoticons but failed. Never one to back out of a challenge, I did the same with her initials and succeeded. She was impressed. So she tried again, using both “poop” and “monkey” emoticons, which made my initials looked like wobbly drunk alphabets but you could still tell which alphabets they were meant to be. But as usual, I trumped her with my beautiful illustration of her name with “poop, monkeys and pigs” – our affectionate insults for each other.

One minute passed. There was no repartee from her. Five minutes. It was still quiet. Too quiet in fact. Eight minutes went by.

And then a random splattering of stars, suns and fire appeared on my phone screen.

“What’s that?” I asked.

She then sent me a screenshot of what the stars, suns and fires were supposed to resemble. Turned out she was studiously typing out the emoticons on the notepad app on the iPhone. However, transferring them to Whatsapp did not create the same effect as she wanted.

If someone had looked at me then, they would have seen me grinning at my phone. She was unbelievably adorable. If she was right in front of me, I’d have grabbed her face and kiss her all over because she was that adorable.

“SadZ. I’m made of stars, fire and sun,” she said.

“I feel nauseous,” I replied.

A lull and then she said: “If you don’t vomit, I’m going to vomit liao ah.”

We both burst out laughing at the same time. Which tailed off into more insults for each other. Until… she texted: “I am Choco Baby.”

“You’re  baby.”

“Mmmm no!”

“Later I puke ah.”

Yes, I know what “highly intellectual” conversations we have. But no one makes us laugh as much as we make each other laugh. It’s just hard to understand if you’re not part of our world, our venn diagram, our intertwined lives.

She soon fell asleep because she just had lunch and you know how a full stomach always makes her very drowsy.

Fast forward two hours later, she has awoken and we were making dinner plans while travelling on buses to our rendezvous spot.

Another two hours later, we were finally on our way to meet each other and I was a little excited. We haven’t seen each other for a little over a week and I had missed her even though I hadn’t told her so.

She was going to arrive later than me so I decided to walk around the stores first. When she arrived, I thought she looked stunning and I wanted to give her a hug so bad. We ended up shopping for a new pair of black jeans for her.

As we stepped into the store, loud booming dance music started playing. I grabbed her and started swaying her while moving my body to the beats at the same time. I even lip-synced to the song in a “trying to be sexy but totally failed” way. She rolled her eyes like I was being duh and then surreptitiously turned to see if anyone was looking at us. There wasn’t. So she danced vigorously for two seconds, stopped abruptly and continued browsing the clothes like nothing happened. I ended up getting the black pair of jeans because it fitted me better.

We were finally starving. At the Ship restaurant, we ordered at least five dishes from the menu because that’s how we roll, Internet. We are the type of couple who can eat three meals together at one go. Yes. We had a lobster dish, escargots, pork cutlet, a chicken dish and desserts. I still don’t know how we always managed to finish almost every meal.

After a nice filling dinner, we strolled over to the pharmacy nearby. It was crowded.We were browsing the aisles. She wanted to get some feminine products. That was when I saw the “Vaginal Douche” labelled on a product. I nudged her and when she looked up, we burst out laughing. I took a picture of it and said that was her new name. Giggling non-stop, we paid up and headed for our respective bus stops.

During the walk there, I thought about all the fun dates we had – the first one where we had bak kut teh and crepes, the night we went to the Stereophonics concert and had five whiskey dry at the Irish bar, the picnic where we didn’t manage to fly our kite but we still had a romantic time together because I brought a lot of food and necessities so I’d have everything in my bag if you wanted something savoury or sweet or healthy or a wet wipe to refresh yourself, our Bintan getaway where I cut short my Shanghai trip so I could meet you earlier, all those times we spent lazing on BTB, our excursion to the Salvador Dali and Tang Dynasty exhibitions.

Then there was the second picnic where we had a really fierce wild monkey with really weird long uneven nipples chasing us and snatching our very yummy home-cooked food – a competition which you won. We even kidded about bringing my dog form to protect us next time we have picnics. Then there was the day we spent building little Lego (ok, you built while I assisted), the amazing date we had at Oyster Bar and Wangz, the times we farted in front of each other and tried to pretend we didn’t, nights we spent grooming each other’s ears and squeezing pimples on our backs, feasting on food deliveries at home, and so many many many more! There are just too many great times to list down.

And you know what? It would be so nice to continue making more happy memories together ’cause you’re such an adorable Choco Baby.

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Crazy, stupid love

“You’re the perfect combination of sexy and cute.”

Staying awake all night talking about themselves.

Finding the pillow that forms perfectly to the shape of their heads.

Talking and laughing for hours lying in bed and drinking wine.

Asking each other personal questions and answering truthfully.

Continue talking for hours until someone finally falls asleep.

Pulling the cover over them, tucking them in and kissing them goodnight and falling asleep next to each other.

Spending a huge amount of time together shopping, eating, dining, playing.

Ignoring others to spend more time with each other.

Laughing non-stop.

Making silly dance moves in the middle of nowhere.

Grinning stupidly at each other. Smiling stupidly at the phone in public.

Falling in love with each other.

They spend their entire lives looking at other people in love and thinking that those people must live on another planet and that love is something elusive.

Turns out they just want to be like those people who are in love.

Now that they have met each other, they really believe that there is one true love for everyone.

Suddenly grand romantic gestures do not seem stupid anymore.

They are each other’s soul mate. Some would say they have found the love of their life.

They don’t know if things will work out, they don’t know what’s going to happen, but they will never give up. They will never stop trying. They will continue fighting for each other.

Because they have found their soul mate. And you never give up on your soul mate. And if you fought hard enough for that person, your one true love would always work out.

Remember, when you find the one, you never give up.