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Full disclosure

I couldn’t sleep so I tried lulling myself to sleep with some pointless TV shows. But as you know, I often find meaning in the most random TV programme that would somehow relate to a particular point in my life. Tonight, Friends With Benefits Season 1 Episode 13: The Benefits of Full Disclosure has the honour.

In this scene, Ben is pining for his past relationship with Sara while he’s going through a rough patch so he goes to her place to confess how he feels about her, even though Sara is currently dating her journalist boyfriend. Naturally, Sara gets exasperated with Ben.

Sara: “How long have we known each other?”
Ben: “Around 10 years…ish.”
Sara: “And how long have I wanted a relationship and how long have I wanted to fall in love?”
Ben: “Since always…”
Sara: “That’s right. Do you want a relationship with me? Do you want to be in a steady relationship with me?”
Ben: “Woah, why must we put a label on us? Why can’t we just hang out and let things take their natural course? We are good together.”
Sara: “I need a stable relationship and I want love. I am ready for a relationship and you are not.”

And CUT. The scene ends with both parties looking forlorn about the prospect of not seeing each other anymore even though they really like each other a lot.

Well, this is more or less what I can remember of the conversation on TV since I can’t find any quotes or full recap or the script anywhere online. So you just have to trust my memory.

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Right here waiting

I got home late last night and was all tired out when I finally fell into bed. As usual, the TV was on and I managed to catch the last few minutes of popular American comedy How I Met Your Mother before sleep engulfed me. It was the 23rd episode “As fast as she can” of the fourth season and it was poignant for me in many ways.

I used to think I want to be like Barney – awesome, hilarious and free-loving with a bevy of ladies to choose from. Then I saw the episode last night and I realise there is a Ted in all of us, even if we try so hard to deny it.

Ted has been trying very hard for the longest time to get over his ex-girlfriend who broke his heart. He was also hoping to kick-start his flagging career to distract himself from the pain. Then one day after a series of incidents and at his most dejected moment, he finally admitted it out loud – a thought that has been on his mind for the longest time.

Ted: Okay, I am going to say something out loud that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I am waiting for it to happen. I guess I’m just tired of waiting. And that is all I’m going to say on that subject.

Stella: I know that you’re tired of waiting. And you might have to wait a little while more but she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.

You know what, I feel the exact same way as you, Ted, and I know exactly what you are going through even if I haven’t quite said it out loud yet.

So here goes. Hi you, yes you, I’m right here waiting for YOU, whoever you are and wherever you may be. Godspeed.