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The Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Golden Globe show 2014

This year’s Golden Globes’ opening monologue by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had me in stitches for nine whole minutes. They were so witty that my face was so scrunched up from laughing so hard. And now my right eye hurts. But it’s so good to laugh out loud for so long. Remember my last post on why laughing is good for you? 😀

If you thought Tina and Amy were hilarious last year (which I reviewed on this blog), you need to watch how they topped that performance with this year’s epic opening act. They are simply two of the funniest and seriously intelligent women in Hollywood right now. I can’t wait to watch the full show just to see what other hilarious antics Fey and Poehler got up to.

Here are some of my favourite one-liners from the dynamic comedic duo (Telegraph UK):

Tina: “The Wolf of Wall Street shocked viewers by using the F-word 506 times in three hours. Which is the new record. Unless you count my dad trying to hang some curtains rods in our living room.”

Tina: “Amy Poehler is nominated for her work on Parks and Recreation.”
Amy: “I believe Amy is here tonight. Can we get a shot of her?”
[Camera pans to Jennifer Lawrence with Amy Poehler’s name at the bottom of the screen]
Tina: “She looks fantastic!”
Amy: “She looks amazing! Wow, radiant! It is hard to believe she’s a 42-year-old mother of two!”

Tina: “Meryl Streep is so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.”

The one about Meryl Streep is hilarious because few weeks ago Streep made an acceptance speech at Napalms Film Festival about how she’s grateful for the great roles she has received even though she’s over 60 years old and that there’s still opportunities for older women in Hollywood.

And this one below is my personal top favourite. Fey delivered it with enough deadpan aplomb. And the camera immediately panned to Sandra Bullock (George Clooney’s co-star in Gravity) who was laughing so hard she was slapping her knee. Priceless.

Tina: “Gravity is nominated for Best Film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

Tina:”Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds. Or what actresses call being in a movie.”

Amy: “One of the most nominated films this year is 12 Years a Slave. I loved 12 Years a Slave and I can honestly say that after seeing that film, I will never look at slavery the same way again.”
Tina: “Wait, how were you—”
Amy: “And what a year for television!”

Amy: “Before earning a Golden Globe nomination for his first ever actinrole in Captain Phillips, Barkhad Abdi was working as a limousine driver in Minnesota. There’s such a beautiful life lesson here, everyone: Sleep with your limo driver tonight. Before he gets famous.”

Amy: “A lot of nominated shows this year are actually on Netflix. House of Cards. Orange Is the New Black. Enjoy it while it lasts, Netflix. Because you’re not going to be feeling so smug in a couple of years when SnapChat is up here accepting Best Drama.”

What a great way to chase away those Monday blues. Seriously, go click on the link above already.

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Someday girl

A memorable quote from one of my favourite sitcoms Cougar Town (it’s totally hilarious and witty. Everyone should be watching it!), Stop Dragging My Heart Around (S1E10):

Andy: Did lover boy tell you he likes Jules?

Laurie: What?!

Grayson: What? No. I just said someday I could end up with a girl like her.

Laurie: Jules is your someday girl?!

Grayson: My what now?

Laurie: A someday girl is someone who someday someone else can see themselves ending up with someday. It’s super serious.

Grayson: Someday girl is a great title for a new song.

In short, a someday girl is a girl you aren’t pursuing or involved with now, but a person whom you can see yourself ending up with someday. “Someday” could be 20 years from now, or it could be tomorrow. Who knows? Anything is possible.

The entire episode is gold, with the appropriate amount of cheesiness, heartfelt moments, angst, pranks, humour, friendship, laughter and love. I’m so glad I turned on the TV last night.

Because that wasn’t the only quote that caught my ears and mind. It was what Ellie said at the closing scene that really got to me and it was all I could do to stop tearing (I really ought to stop being such a crybaby!).

Ellie: I just remind myself how scary it would be out there drifting alone. It’s weird with relationships. Two people can start off in the same place and for whatever reasons, they split off in different directions …

… I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you and I’m so happy that I am not out there having to start all over to look for what we have, because it’s hard to find and even harder to keep.

We have had so much history together and we are always going be attached in some way or another, but maybe our happy ending is us being friends. 🙂

Seriously, click “play” already.

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I wish I knew how to quit you

I was reading random news on my RSS feed on late Friday night when I came across this article on Guardian UK:

Some of the better gay films acknowledge that lovers are capable of hating each other at the same time, and expressing it beautifully: see the Heath Ledger/Jake Gyllenhaal “I wish I knew how to quit you” rage scene in Brokeback Mountain.

Obviously, I had to click on the link, because it reminded me of how I feel about someone. And no surprise, I cried while watching the YouTube clip. It all felt so real and the emotions bubbling up to the surface were raw, wretched and tragic. It was when you realise that the one who speaks the least in a relationship is usually the one who feels the most, loves the deepest and gets twice the pain when they get into a fight.

You know it’s true love when you feel the stress of having to maintain a forbidden relationship is no match for wanting to be with the love of your life… Whether for a brief moment, a few days or forever.

Ennis Del Mar: I’m gonna tell you this one time, Jack fuckin’ Twist, an’ I ain’t foolin’. What I don’t know – all them things I don’t know – could get you killed if I come to know them. I ain’t jokin’.

Jack Twist: Yeah well try this one, and I’ll say it just once!

Ennis Del Mar: Go ahead!

Jack Twist: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together, fuckin’ real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn’t want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything’s built on that, that’s all we got boy, fuckin’ all. So I hope you know that, if you don’t never know the rest!
You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on, and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you’ll kill me for needing somethin’ I don’t hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I’m not you… I can’t make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you son of a whoreson bitch… I wish I knew how to quit you.

Ennis Del Mar: Well why don’t you? Why don’t you just let me be, huh? Because of you, Jack, that I’m like this. I’m nothing… and nowhere.

Jack Twist: Ennis…

Ennis Del Mar: Get the fuck off me!

Jack Twist: Sorry… it’s all right. Damn you, Ennis!

Ennis Del Mar: I can’t stand it anymore, Jack!

Watch the clip below and you’ll see what I mean.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=YHECTwLI9Z8&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYHECTwLI9Z8

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Destined to be with each other

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From the movie Superman Returns when Clark Kent met Lois Lane after news got out that Superman has returned to Earth and the buried feelings Lois had for Superman, the love of her life, came rushing back:

Lois Lane: ‘Can I ask you something? Have you ever met someone and it’s almost like you’re from totally different worlds, but you share such a strong connection that you knew you were destined to be with each other, and then he just takes off, without explaining why or without even saying goodbye?’

Clark Kent: ‘Well, maybe it was hard to say goodbye, because he had to go and … he wanted to say goodbye, but … maybe it was too difficult for him.’

Maybe it’s about time I finally let the pieces go and move on. I’ve carried you in my heart for a long time now and I am never without you, no matter what I do. And it’s the deepest secret no one knows… But me and anyone who reads this blog. Ha!

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You’ve got the sweetest ass in the world

When I first heard this line on the comedy ‘Wedding Band’, it made me laugh out loud and I immediately thought of an ass whom I’ve missed greatly. Maybe she will never know, but this is a cheeky tribute to her extremely fair, perky buttocks whose tender round cheeks I missed aiming a bite at.

Cheesy lyrics trying to rhyme, a catchy tune and pumping dance beats that you can shake your butt twice at… What’s not to love about this song?!

I hear your voice when none was around

I’m still here and I’m losing ground

Feel like the earth move under my feet

I feel you in every single heartbeat

You are a lovely, lovely refrain

You spin around and round in my brain

But today, mostly, I am feeling pensive and the weather has been reflecting my mood — dark clouds, heavy downpour, chilly winds — and watching romantic films like ‘Notting Hill’ (even though it’s also listed as a comedy) with quotes like below only makes it worse.

There’s this girl … She’s someone I just can’t — someone who … self-evidently can’t be mine — and it’s as if I’ve taken love-heroin — and now I can’t even have it again. I’ve opened Pandora’s box. And there’s trouble inside.

The truth is … with you, I’m in real danger. It’d look like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours — but my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not recover if I was once again … cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be … You’d go and I’d be … well, buggered, basically.

[Lyrics via http://www.lyricsforsong.net/]

[Script via Awesomefilm.com]

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Last person you think of at night

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I have nothing to else to add. This pic says it all for me tonight. Who do you think of every night before you fall asleep? For me, it’s you every single time.

‘I’d do it all over again, you know. Us, you, me… all of it. I’d do it again. I’d choose you every time.’ — A quote from the movie Date Night

I watched this film earlier in the evening when I was supposed to be studying. I was totally distracted and it was guilt-inducing to waste two hours like that, but it felt so good to laugh out loud at silly humour. It’s been a while since I had laughed so heartily.

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The notebook

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I watched this movie once with someone. I remember it was a weekend afternoon and we were snuggling in bed when we turned on the TV. She told me it was her favourite film, but her sister didn’t like it. I never really understood why until I watched it last night.

I teared when the old couple started slow dancing and professing their love for one another when she regained her memory briefly. And I teared again nearing the ending when the old man climbed in bed with the love of his life and both of them looked prepared to be with each other in life and to leave together in death. It was heartbreaking.

One day, I hope to write a love story as beautiful as this for someone special. Oh, wait… I did wrote something similar… Two books in fact. Heh.

Anyway, here are some quotes that captured my emotions (and quite possibly, the chronological story of our entwined lives?):

“Every great love starts with a great story…”

“Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can’t control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That’s what it was like for me. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”

“She was my dream. She made me who I am, and holding her in my arms was more natural to me than my own heartbeat. I think about her all the time. Even now, when I’m sitting here, I think about her. There could never have been another.”

“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”

“You are the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don’t know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”

“I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.”

“I’ll be anything you want, just tell me what you want and I’ll be that.”

“I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.”

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”

“When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this on searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understand, we’ve been forced to say goodbye.

 I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we’ve had before.”

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”

“Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants. Stop thinking
about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?”

“Sometimes we need to be apart to understand just how much we truly love each other.”

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Wherever you are, that’s where my home is.