The Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Golden Globe show 2014

This year’s Golden Globes’ opening monologue by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had me in stitches for nine whole minutes. They were so witty that my face was so scrunched up from laughing so hard. And now my right eye hurts. But it’s so good to laugh out loud for so long. Remember my last post on why laughing is good for you? 😀

If you thought Tina and Amy were hilarious last year (which I reviewed on this blog), you need to watch how they topped that performance with this year’s epic opening act. They are simply two of the funniest and seriously intelligent women in Hollywood right now. I can’t wait to watch the full show just to see what other hilarious antics Fey and Poehler got up to.

Here are some of my favourite one-liners from the dynamic comedic duo (Telegraph UK):

Tina: “The Wolf of Wall Street shocked viewers by using the F-word 506 times in three hours. Which is the new record. Unless you count my dad trying to hang some curtains rods in our living room.”

Tina: “Amy Poehler is nominated for her work on Parks and Recreation.”
Amy: “I believe Amy is here tonight. Can we get a shot of her?”
[Camera pans to Jennifer Lawrence with Amy Poehler’s name at the bottom of the screen]
Tina: “She looks fantastic!”
Amy: “She looks amazing! Wow, radiant! It is hard to believe she’s a 42-year-old mother of two!”

Tina: “Meryl Streep is so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.”

The one about Meryl Streep is hilarious because few weeks ago Streep made an acceptance speech at Napalms Film Festival about how she’s grateful for the great roles she has received even though she’s over 60 years old and that there’s still opportunities for older women in Hollywood.

And this one below is my personal top favourite. Fey delivered it with enough deadpan aplomb. And the camera immediately panned to Sandra Bullock (George Clooney’s co-star in Gravity) who was laughing so hard she was slapping her knee. Priceless.

Tina: “Gravity is nominated for Best Film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

Tina:”Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds. Or what actresses call being in a movie.”

Amy: “One of the most nominated films this year is 12 Years a Slave. I loved 12 Years a Slave and I can honestly say that after seeing that film, I will never look at slavery the same way again.”
Tina: “Wait, how were you—”
Amy: “And what a year for television!”

Amy: “Before earning a Golden Globe nomination for his first ever actinrole in Captain Phillips, Barkhad Abdi was working as a limousine driver in Minnesota. There’s such a beautiful life lesson here, everyone: Sleep with your limo driver tonight. Before he gets famous.”

Amy: “A lot of nominated shows this year are actually on Netflix. House of Cards. Orange Is the New Black. Enjoy it while it lasts, Netflix. Because you’re not going to be feeling so smug in a couple of years when SnapChat is up here accepting Best Drama.”

What a great way to chase away those Monday blues. Seriously, go click on the link above already.

Someday girl

A memorable quote from one of my favourite sitcoms Cougar Town (it’s totally hilarious and witty. Everyone should be watching it!), Stop Dragging My Heart Around (S1E10):

Andy: Did lover boy tell you he likes Jules?

Laurie: What?!

Grayson: What? No. I just said someday I could end up with a girl like her.

Laurie: Jules is your someday girl?!

Grayson: My what now?

Laurie: A someday girl is someone who someday someone else can see themselves ending up with someday. It’s super serious.

Grayson: Someday girl is a great title for a new song.

In short, a someday girl is a girl you aren’t pursuing or involved with now, but a person whom you can see yourself ending up with someday. “Someday” could be 20 years from now, or it could be tomorrow. Who knows? Anything is possible.

The entire episode is gold, with the appropriate amount of cheesiness, heartfelt moments, angst, pranks, humour, friendship, laughter and love. I’m so glad I turned on the TV last night.

Because that wasn’t the only quote that caught my ears and mind. It was what Ellie said at the closing scene that really got to me and it was all I could do to stop tearing (I really ought to stop being such a crybaby!).

Ellie: I just remind myself how scary it would be out there drifting alone. It’s weird with relationships. Two people can start off in the same place and for whatever reasons, they split off in different directions …

… I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you and I’m so happy that I am not out there having to start all over to look for what we have, because it’s hard to find and even harder to keep.

We have had so much history together and we are always going be attached in some way or another, but maybe our happy ending is us being friends. 🙂

Seriously, click “play” already.

I wish I knew how to quit you

I was reading random news on my RSS feed on late Friday night when I came across this article on Guardian UK:

Some of the better gay films acknowledge that lovers are capable of hating each other at the same time, and expressing it beautifully: see the Heath Ledger/Jake Gyllenhaal “I wish I knew how to quit you” rage scene in Brokeback Mountain.

Obviously, I had to click on the link, because it reminded me of how I feel about someone. And no surprise, I cried while watching the YouTube clip. It all felt so real and the emotions bubbling up to the surface were raw, wretched and tragic. It was when you realise that the one who speaks the least in a relationship is usually the one who feels the most, loves the deepest and gets twice the pain when they get into a fight.

You know it’s true love when you feel the stress of having to maintain a forbidden relationship is no match for wanting to be with the love of your life… Whether for a brief moment, a few days or forever.

Ennis Del Mar: I’m gonna tell you this one time, Jack fuckin’ Twist, an’ I ain’t foolin’. What I don’t know – all them things I don’t know – could get you killed if I come to know them. I ain’t jokin’.

Jack Twist: Yeah well try this one, and I’ll say it just once!

Ennis Del Mar: Go ahead!

Jack Twist: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together, fuckin’ real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn’t want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything’s built on that, that’s all we got boy, fuckin’ all. So I hope you know that, if you don’t never know the rest!
You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on, and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you’ll kill me for needing somethin’ I don’t hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I’m not you… I can’t make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you son of a whoreson bitch… I wish I knew how to quit you.

Ennis Del Mar: Well why don’t you? Why don’t you just let me be, huh? Because of you, Jack, that I’m like this. I’m nothing… and nowhere.

Jack Twist: Ennis…

Ennis Del Mar: Get the fuck off me!

Jack Twist: Sorry… it’s all right. Damn you, Ennis!

Ennis Del Mar: I can’t stand it anymore, Jack!

Watch the clip below and you’ll see what I mean.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=YHECTwLI9Z8&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYHECTwLI9Z8

Destined to be with each other

From the movie Superman Returns when Clark Kent met Lois Lane after news got out that Superman has returned to Earth and the buried feelings Lois had for Superman, the love of her life, came rushing back:

Lois Lane: ‘Can I ask you something? Have you ever met someone and it’s almost like you’re from totally different worlds, but you share such a strong connection that you knew you were destined to be with each other, and then he just takes off, without explaining why or without even saying goodbye?’

Clark Kent: ‘Well, maybe it was hard to say goodbye, because he had to go and … he wanted to say goodbye, but … maybe it was too difficult for him.’

Maybe it’s about time I finally let the pieces go and move on. I’ve carried you in my heart for a long time now and I am never without you, no matter what I do. And it’s the deepest secret no one knows… But me and anyone who reads this blog. Ha!

You’ve got the sweetest ass in the world

When I first heard this line on the comedy ‘Wedding Band’, it made me laugh out loud and I immediately thought of an ass whom I’ve missed greatly. Maybe she will never know, but this is a cheeky tribute to her extremely fair, perky buttocks whose tender round cheeks I missed aiming a bite at.

Cheesy lyrics trying to rhyme, a catchy tune and pumping dance beats that you can shake your butt twice at… What’s not to love about this song?!

I hear your voice when none was around

I’m still here and I’m losing ground

Feel like the earth move under my feet

I feel you in every single heartbeat

You are a lovely, lovely refrain

You spin around and round in my brain

But today, mostly, I am feeling pensive and the weather has been reflecting my mood — dark clouds, heavy downpour, chilly winds — and watching romantic films like ‘Notting Hill’ (even though it’s also listed as a comedy) with quotes like below only makes it worse.

There’s this girl … She’s someone I just can’t — someone who … self-evidently can’t be mine — and it’s as if I’ve taken love-heroin — and now I can’t even have it again. I’ve opened Pandora’s box. And there’s trouble inside.

The truth is … with you, I’m in real danger. It’d look like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours — but my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not recover if I was once again … cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be … You’d go and I’d be … well, buggered, basically.

[Lyrics via http://www.lyricsforsong.net/]

[Script via Awesomefilm.com]

Last person you think of at night

I have nothing to else to add. This pic says it all for me tonight. Who do you think of every night before you fall asleep? For me, it’s you every single time.

‘I’d do it all over again, you know. Us, you, me… all of it. I’d do it again. I’d choose you every time.’ — A quote from the movie Date Night

I watched this film earlier in the evening when I was supposed to be studying. I was totally distracted and it was guilt-inducing to waste two hours like that, but it felt so good to laugh out loud at silly humour. It’s been a while since I had laughed so heartily.

The notebook

I watched this movie once with someone. I remember it was a weekend afternoon and we were snuggling in bed when we turned on the TV. She told me it was her favourite film, but her sister didn’t like it. I never really understood why until I watched it last night.

I teared when the old couple started slow dancing and professing their love for one another when she regained her memory briefly. And I teared again nearing the ending when the old man climbed in bed with the love of his life and both of them looked prepared to be with each other in life and to leave together in death. It was heartbreaking.

One day, I hope to write a love story as beautiful as this for someone special. Oh, wait… I did wrote something similar… Two books in fact. Heh.

Anyway, here are some quotes that captured my emotions (and quite possibly, the chronological story of our entwined lives?):

“Every great love starts with a great story…”

“Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can’t control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That’s what it was like for me. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”

“She was my dream. She made me who I am, and holding her in my arms was more natural to me than my own heartbeat. I think about her all the time. Even now, when I’m sitting here, I think about her. There could never have been another.”

“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”

“You are the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don’t know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”

“I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.”

“I’ll be anything you want, just tell me what you want and I’ll be that.”

“I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.”

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”

“When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this on searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understand, we’ve been forced to say goodbye.

 I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we’ve had before.”

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”

“Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants. Stop thinking
about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?”

“Sometimes we need to be apart to understand just how much we truly love each other.”

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Wherever you are, that’s where my home is.

Happy birthday

Happy birthday to you, my love.

有些事情…… 是我每天都挂念的，但每一年… 只能说一次：生日快乐。

A long long time ago, we were chatting and you told me about a romantic Chinese movie that you loved a few years back. You said you watched it with your sister and you cried during the film because you thought it was very touching, while your sister thought the film was lame.

I was intrigued, because you loved the storyline and you told me a quote from the movie that made you emotional. I told myself that I would google about it and remember it forever, so one day I can maybe do the things the lead characters did in the movie for you IRL.

I scrolled through many videos and finally found a brief YouTube introduction of the Cantonese/Mandarin film:

Happy Birthday is about two soulmates who spend a decade doing everything but getting together as a couple. They seemed destined to be the perfect lovers, but the girl can’t commit to a relationship. Yet, they clearly love and adore each other, so they continue in this on-off quasi-relationship for many years. And no matter how far apart they may be, one would still call or text the other person on their special day and sing “Happy Birthday” every year.

I’m sure you know the storyline by heart… So really, here’s my message to you as this blog post goes online on 22 August at midnight sharp. It’s a song that amazingly has all the right words that I want to tell you, but can’t. Even the part where they spilled food on themselves and tried cleaning each other reminded me of us. Ha! Maybe this is why you like Chinese songs so much. *chios*

Happy birthday, my love. Hope you have a splendid celebration and Oh! The Places You’ll Go! because today is your day.

Life will be all right

Ishika Mohan/20th Century Fox

I’ve wanted to watch The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel when the British film was still showing in cinemas around late June/early July. I remember reading reviews of it and thought: “This sounds like a heart-warming feel-good movie that should make us laugh and enjoy our two hours in the cinema.” Plus, I had watched Salmon Fishing in the Yemen before that and absolutely loved it. The Brit irony and sarcastic wit was hilarious.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel was nearly at the end of its run here though, which meant it had limited timings at certain cinemas only so finding the right person and the right day to watch it was critical. I remember asking someone if she wanted to watch it and the response I got was: “No, I don’t understand British accents.”

I was silent after that. It’s a movie. It has subtitles. Besides, you’re supposed to put your brain at the door and be entertained. How hard can it be to understand spoken English?

Anyway, we didn’t watch it together in the end. But I’m so glad I managed to finally watch the movie.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a 2012 British comedy-drama film that was based on the 2004 novel These Foolish Things by Deborah Moggach. The two-hour long film features an ensemble cast including Judi Dench, Bill Nighy and Maggie Smith among a group of British pensioners moving to a newly opened retirement resort in Jaipur, India. However, upon their arrival, the seven financially distressed and retired Brit men and women discover the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is far from the luxurious retreat “for the elderly and beautiful” that its advertising claims. Despite not meeting their expectations, most of them take it in stride and begin to flourish in their new-found adventure, letting the trip change their lives forever.

Each of them has a sad story that forces or influences them to head for India (read brief sketches of them here.) Most of them can’t afford the high living expenses needed to retire in England. They miss home and their children, but they can’t go back. It made me realise I should save more money and worry about building my retirement nest, instead of splurging on materialistic items that would probably not last long enough as heirlooms.

There are pleasant surprises. One of them was Graham Dashwood, a retired High Court judge, who grew up in Jaipur and is returning for the first time since his youth. Turns out he is a middle-aged gay man who’s “more in theory than in practice nowadays”. Graham hopes to reconnect with his Indian lover, whose family was disgraced when their affair was discovered. He has loved him his whole life, thinking that he had lost the love of his life forever and wanting to make up to him if he could ever find him again. And he does find a happy ending, but not what you’d expect.

This is a feel-good film whose optimism and sentimentality gives me hope that it’s never too late to leave my comfort zone and explore new horizons, as long as I’m willing to go with the flow.

Evelyn: Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.

Muriel: Most things don’t. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.

Evelyn: The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with the disappointment, as we all must.

Because in the end no matter what happens, whether it’s good or bad, life will still go on and you will be fine. Really.

Sonny: Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end.

Catwoman got my tongue

I really think Anne Hathaway is the second best Catwoman ever, after Michelle Pfeiffer, even though many people I spoke to felt otherwise. They’re just too stuck in their ways. Ha!

All Hathaway needed to do to take my breath away was to utter “Ooops.”

Vanity Fair says it best really:

It’s an “Ooops” dripping in sexiness and insincerity, coming as it does after Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne interrupts her in the middle of a heist and before she dons her leather or rubber catsuit.

The “Ooops” and its Jean Harlow naughty-girl reading come early in the film and the rest of Hathaway’s performance seems to flow from it. She’s flip, she’s funny, and she looks great astride the bat cycle thingee. She kicks credible ass, and she doesn’t overdo the cat business. She’s just right.

She’s the spark that lights up the film. And I especially love the film’s ending. It warned my heart. Yes, yes, I just want to keep gushing over Selina Kyle, aka the hottie cat burglar. Meowwww.

My friend did say Hathaway has a big butt. I didn’t notice the size. Not when I see Catwoman riding the Bat Pod, with her ass up in the air as she crouches low on the vehicle. Or when she kicks the baddies in her skin tight suit and really high heels. All I could think of was: “Awwww-weeeee. Sizzling hot.”

The film, on the whole, is brilliantly made. The actors were brilliantly cast. Many had said The Dark Knight Rises is “three hours too long” and too exhausting to sit through because as entertaining as it is, the action scenes took too long to build up. Those fools.

Christopher Nolan, the director and co-writer of the “Dark Knight Trilogy”, has made a film fused with so much wonderful in-depth character build-up, imagination, subtle humour and intelligence that’s interlaced with excellent action scenes and twists. Breathless.

I particularly love the ending. Catwoman. Grrrrrr.